the duel: 1X2X1 a blow for pure neutrality
Forgive Me
by SnowTigra
Duo glanced up from his glass of water, twirling the straw around
idly. His violet eyes crossed to Heero's plate which sat across from
him. They'd eaten nearly the entire meal in silence and now the meal
was almost over. Wasn't this supposed to be a happy occasion? I
mean, what couple spent the night of their anniversary eating silently
at a sushi restaurant, just not talking at all?
Now granted, Duo had talked, for a while. But it was the normal
mindless chatter that he generally employed to fill the empty space
between them. Duo hated silence. People had voices for a reason and
that reason was to use them. So how come he'd fallen in love with one
of the quietest people on earth? It just drove him up the wall at
times that Heero never seemed to say anything beyond what needed to be
said.
And there was one phrase in particular that Duo never heard his lover
say anymore. It hurt not to hear it, but he felt awful for asking
because he didn't want to find out that there was actually a reason
Heero never said it anymore. It was just three simple words, they
shouldn't have meant so much… but they did.
Duo sighed softly, causing Heero to look up, and stopped stirring
around his drink.
"What's up with us, Hee-chan?" Duo asked softly.
Heero set down his chopsticks, ignoring the food between them. In a
simple movement he gave Duo all his attention and for that Duo was
happy. But at the same time it drove him up the wall once again. Why
did Heero always have to communicate in actions? Why couldn't he just
say his thoughts? Duo bit his lower lip and tried to decide what to
say, but couldn't find any way without sounding angry. And he didn't
want this conversation to start out sounding like he wanted to break
up with Heero, because that was the last thing he wanted to do!
Duo's eyes settled on the water dripping down the side of his iced
glass, inside he gathered up his courage.
"You… love me, right Heero?"
Heero's eyebrow shot up in surprise and he nodded, a little too
shocked to say much of anything. What had brought this on? "Of
course I do, Duo."
Duo didn't look up, instead he moved to crumbling the cloth napkin in
between his hands. "I know. Its just… you never say it anymore koi.
I mean I know you don't talk often and I'm not asking you to say it
every time we're together, but… but it just seems lately that we're
only living together for convenience or for sex… not love." Duo felt
his cheeks burn with shame. He knew he was probably blowing this out
of proportion but it really bugged him lately.
He felt Heero's hand rest on his, making him pause in his killing of
the innocent napkin. He looked up in surprise to meet Heero's eyes,
which were filled with regret and love. Duo bit his bottom lip and
felt his cheeks burn more. He was such an idiot! How could he
possibly think Heero might not love him!
Duo pulled his hands away and stood up, shaking his head. "I'm sorry,
I don't know what's wrong with me tonight. I'll be back." Without
waiting for Heero to respond he turned and headed straight for the
restroom feeling like a complete moron.
Marching through the door he stopped to lean back against it, closing
his eyes and shaking his head once more. Turning he slammed his fist
into the thick tiled wall. The punch wasn't hard enough to break
anything, but it did hurt, and it did its job of venting his
frustration.
"Baka!" He yelled at himself.
Why did he let this bother him so much? He knew Heero wasn't the
talkative type, and that was part of the main reason that Duo loved
him so much. Maybe it was just the silence for that night. Maybe it
was just the day at work. Maybe it was just the tea. Who knows! He
just knew that there was no reason for him to be complaining. He felt
like such an idiot.
Leaning against the cold tile wall Duo calmed himself down and
gathered himself together. Resorting out his thoughts he tried to
figure what he would say to Heero when he returned to the table, but
he honestly had no idea. So he decided to just do what he did best,
improvise.
Pushing open the door back to the restaurant he moved back toward his
and Heero's table.
It was empty.
Duo's heart froze and he felt a shiver move down his back. Heero
wasn't sitting at the table anymore, and a quick glance around showed
him to be no where in the restaurant. Duo suddenly had the urge to
beat his head up against the wall; he was such a fucking moron! He'd
ruined the entire night and made Heero leave, just because of some
small insecurity on his part. His shoulders dropped and he pulled a
pile of cash out of his pocket. He didn't even bother to count it; he
just tossed it on the table and headed for the door, feeling
absolutely miserable.
Walking toward the main entrance of the restaurant he passed by the
area which was a bar and just barley noticed the music starting up.
Sadly he remembered part of the reason he'd picked this restaurant.
It had a karoke bar in the front part an he'd at least wanted to sing
a song, just for the pure fun of it, well that was ruined now.
[I confess] Duo stopped in his steps and froze, his eyes widening. No way!
[It's, all true] Duo turned toward the bar area and blinked as he beheld the
impossible.
[I'm a mess] Heero stood on the karoke stage, the lights around him shining a sad
blue as the slightly depressing song played. His cobalt blue eyes
were locked with Duo's willing him to listen to the lyrics as he sang
them.
[What fool] Duo walked toward the stage, his mouth hanging open in surprise.
Heero was singing? He walked up to the stage and just watched in awe
as Heero continued to sing, swaying softly to the music and looking
quite sad.
[Now… what… do… I do?] Heero closed his eyes and seemed to throw himself into the song, the
feeling behind the words showing completely. He meant every word he
sang and he was directing them all at Duo.
[I need your help to get up from my knees] [I can't seem to see the forest for the trees] [As I wait in my silent misery] [All I'm asking is please forgive me] Locking eyes with Duo once more Heero turned away and hugged himself, as if he were trying to comfort himself.
[Now she knows me] [Now she knows me] He turned back to Duo, his eyes communicating his feelings. He was pleading, trying to make Duo understand with the words from the song, the words he couldn't seem to speak on his own.
[But he wants me to be] [Someone I can't be] [Still he wants me] [He needs me] [He wants me] [Cause he loves me] Moving forward he walked to the edge of the stage, right up to Duo, still singing.
[I need your help to get up from my knees] [Cause I can't seem to see the forest from the trees] [As I wait in my silent misery] [And all I'm asking is please ] [Forgive me!] [Shattered!] Heero dropped to his knees so that his face was level with Duo's.
[Now you see inside] [Cause I no longer hide] [I fall between the cracks you left behind] [Shattered] [Now you're out of time] [You come this far and] [Pleading why] He closed his eyes once again, looking very sad.
[What a shame] [I'm to blame] [What a shame] [Knowing I'm to blame!] [I need your help to get up from my knees] [Cause I can't seem to see the forest for the trees] [And as I wait here in my silent misery] [And all I'm asking is please forgive me] Duo stepped up onto the stage and took Heero's hand, pulling him to his feet. Heero continued to sing as he stared deep into Duo's eyes.
[Ya ya ya] [Oh, just you forgive ya!] [Cause all I'm asking is please…] Duo smiled.
[Ahhh] "I forgive you." Duo whispered softly.
"Gomen, koi." Heero whispered, dropping the microphone to the ground.
Smiling brightly Duo stepped forward and hugged Heero tightly, holding his love in a tight embrace. Heero hugged him back.
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