For You I Suffer
I sat on the floor in front of the couch in the baron's sitting room, still pondering why Heero's final comment about my face paint had aroused me so. I'd been positive that he'd hated my appearance, the ridiculous farce Relena and her friends had perpetrated upon me. Besides the makeup, my hair was bedecked with ribbon, and similar streams of violet hung down my body from my leather collar. I'd been subjected to the caprices of girls at play and felt that I might never fully recover from the blow to my manhood.
Quatre sat on the couch behind me, reaching out to take hold of a ribbon. "I really like this look on you, Duo."
I glared up at him, comfortable enough with my trainer to actually demonstrate my disapproval. His aqua-marine eyes twinkled with amusement and I realized, though he did find my appearance attractive, he also appreciated its humor. His laughter was annoyingly contagious and, in spite of myself, a chuckle found its way from my chest.
"Helen will be in shortly to prepare you for the evening. Until then, we'll have dinner. I'll let her remove your decorations."
As if on cue, the servants arrived and laid out our meal. They ignored me and I expressed my gratitude by not blushing in their presence. I settled down on the rich, dark-gray carpeting, eating the simple meal of vegetables and roast beef with my fingers. I lapped at my water bowl, my improving skill keeping any liquid from spilling on the carpet.
Quatre spoke occasionally, complementing me on how well I was adjusting to life in the castle. I resisted the urge to snort. If only he knew the mental hoops through which I'd been put today alone, he wouldn't be quite so pleased. Between the baron's earlier neglect and the agonies of Relena and Dorothy's attentions, I was feeling nothing short of depressed. Only Heero's mysterious comment as we'd left his study provided some sort of diversion from my troubled thoughts.
Our meal finished, Quatre rang for the servants to retrieve the dishes. They came and, as they departed, Helen entered the room. I was almost happy to see her, her similarities to my late mother never more welcomed.
"Good evening, Helen," my trainer said with his accustomed sociability.
"Good evening to you too, my lord. And, Duo, how are you? Oh my, what's all this?!"
She fingered a ribbon and peered at my face. The skin around her eyes crinkled as she laughed. "Looks like you've had quite a day! Who's responsible for these?"
"Lady Relena convinced the baron to loan Duo to her for the afternoon," Quatre explained. "This was the result."
"Hm," Helen huffed. "You'd think the young miss would be to old to play dress-up, seeing as how she'll be seventeen in only a few days." The maid huffed and prompted me to my feet.
Quatre followed as she led me into the wash chamber. "Heero wants the ribbons removed, of course. But, he said to leave on the makeup."
Helen glanced at the blond, raising a speculative eyebrow. She looked back into my face, examining me closely. After a moment, she chuckled and reached for a ribbon hanging from my collar.
"Liked the way my boy looks, did he? I'm not surprised. You look right pretty with that face paint on, my lad."
Was she right? I'll admit that the baron wasn't the easiest man to read. Had his expression been, not one of derision as I'd feared, but of muted appreciation? I wasn't certain, unable to image that he could have actually liked what had been done to me; but, Helen's assessment did make me feel marginally better. She struck me as an astute woman and she'd known the baron quite a bit longer than I had.
The older woman made short work of the ribbons and went to summon hot water for the bathtub. Quatre had been waiting patiently while she worked but now approached me.
"Alright, Duo. As you know, tonight you will be fitted with a new dildo." I swallowed - as if I needed a reminder that the faux cock shoved up my ass was to be replaced with an even larger piece of wood. As I nodded, he continued, "So it's time for the old one to come out."
I was stupidly curious. Just how would he get the dildo out? From what I remembered of it before it's introduction into my resistant body the night before, there was nothing on the end of the device. Nothing by which it could be removed. I waited anxiously for Quatre's explanation.
"Come here," he said, indicating that I should move to the edge of the tub. The trainer placed a folded towel on the floor and I knelt on it, thankful for its shielding presence from the hard tiles. "Bend over," he ordered, and a niggling sense of dread blossomed in my mind. I almost held my breath as I waited for his next instructions.
"Okay, now, push."
My eyes stretched wide and I jerked my head around to stare at him as he sat behind me on a low stool - the same one Helen used while bathing me. 'Push?!' my mind shouted.
"...p-push?" I whispered, my voice faltering.
Quatre smiled at my confusion. "Yes, just enough so I can reach the end of it."
I continued to stare at him, trying to process his directive. He wanted me to do something as degrading as to push the offending thing out of my body while he watched? I wanted to scream. "B-But..." I stammered. But, I wanted to shout, I'd thought that everything I did was supposed to be graceful and attractive, beautiful and perfect. How the *hell* was what he wanted me to do any of those things?! I wanted to beg him to just let me leave it in, at least until I was alone. But he sat there patiently, a quizzical expression denoting his confusion at my hesitancy.
At least Helen wasn't at hand. That was slight consolation but it was all I had. I was almost tired of my own humiliated tears but was unable to repress them as I urged my body to repel its wooden invader. The dildo was wedged rather firmly within my orifice and it took some doing on my part to dislodge it. I could feel the tendons in my neck stretch as I strained. My teeth clenched with the effort and my cheeks became streaked with the evidence of my mortification. Quatre placed a hand on my heaving shoulder and offered words of encouragement. I resented his attempt at reassurance, feeling as though I was loosing my mind. Finally, however, I succeed in dislodging it and my handler removed the wooden cock.
My lower body clenched as it had become unaccustomed to the emptiness I was left with. I had the perverse need to have that space filled. Of course, it would be soon enough.
Helen returned as I knelt shuddering on the soft towel. Quatre urged me away so that the servants could fill the basin with steaming jugs of water. They disappeared and with a caressing pat, the blond left me to Helen ministrations.
The bath passed quickly, the maid taking care to avoid my face. I wasn't feeling very talkative and Helen seemed to perceive my mood. She rambled on pleasantly about her daughter-in-law who was expecting her third child any day now. Her voice was soothing and I was grateful that she required no response. After wearing the dildo all day, I barely noticed when she cleansed me with the tube that had cause me such consternation the evening before. The whole scene had taken on somewhat of a ritualistic familiarity in my mind and, as she finished, I was almost relaxed.
Helen was still brushing my hair dry when the sound of the outer door opening and closing caught my ear. I heard a voice lift in greeting and another, deeper voice answered. The baron had finally returned. My fingers went to my rouged lips, which were suddenly tingling in remembrance of the welcome I'd received from my master last night. The maid chortled at my heightened color as she fluffed out the chestnut mass. Taking me by the arm she led me into the sitting room.
The baron's back was towards me as he spoke softly to Quatre. I looked covetously at his broad shoulders, grateful that my enforced separation from him had finally come to an end. Other than our brief meeting after my beribboned transformation that afternoon, it had been hours since I'd seen my master and I sorely missed him.
"Good evening, my lord," Helen said, her hand on my arm preventing me from moving closer to the baron as I longed to do. He turned towards us at her words and my breath caught in my throat.
"Helen." A nod accompanied the succinct greeting. Then, as though he felt my eyes upon him, he turned to look at me.
Never had I seen such exhaustion on a person's face. For the first time, I truly understood the extent of Heero's burden and the toll it exacted from him. Although the baron reigned over Calderash with utter confidence and skill it was unfortunate that such a young man should have to endure such an onus.
I barely heard Helen's voice as she wished me a good night. My whole attention was fixed on the shadows under Heero's eyes and the lines of tension that marred the smooth perfection of his brow. I wanted nothing more than to offer him comfort, to ease his body, if not his mind, in whatever way I could.
But before I could worry about the baron's problems, I had my own dilemma to face.
The baron loosened the neck of his brocade jacket as he walked into his bedchamber. My trainer urged me forward with a hand on my back.
"Come, Duo. It's time."
'Yes, time,' I thought as we followed Heero. I was to receive a larger dildo in preparation for the night when the baron would finally make me his. Although I couldn't honestly say that I enjoyed the ordeal of being fitted with the wooden object, keeping my thoughts on that ultimate goal made everything much easier to bear.
Heero finished unbuttoning his jacket and dropped it on the floor as he loosened the tied neck of his close-shirt. Without thought I bent and retrieved the handsome garment. I raised it to my face, taking the opportunity to inhale his heady scent. The sound of a smothered laugh behind me prompted me to look towards my handler. His eye twinkled with repressed merriment at my expression of infatuation. I blushed and lowered my gaze as I placed the jacket on the bed.
The baron stopped at the foot of the bed and turned to look at me. The intensity of his blue gaze and the power of his presence almost convinced me that I'd imagined the weariness I'd perceived earlier. But, I could see the shadows that still smudged the tender skin under his gorgeous eyes.
Quatre produced a wooden box, it's contents no longer a mystery. He removed the jar of cream and the new dildo. It was decided larger than the one from which I'd recently been relieved - thicker, a bit longer, and just as exquisitely carved. Resigned, I turned my back towards him, waiting expectantly for the cool touch of the cream the blond would use to prepare me. I stood face-to-face with my master, unable to resist the urge to look deeply into his captivating gaze.
I gasped as the lubricant touched the sensitive skin of my opening. Though that area of my body was hardly innocent at this point, that first contact was always somewhat of a shock. The cream warmed quickly and my eyelids fluttered as the first finger penetrated deeply.
Heero just stood before me, not touching me but watching every nuance of emotion that passed over my face as my trainer prepared me. The blond added a second finger, then a third, and by that time, my lips had parted and my breath came in soft gasps. My cock twitched, aching as my trainer probed me thoroughly to ensure that I wouldn't be harmed by the larger implement with which I was to be fitted.
Finally, Quatre finished his task and I shuddered as he withdrew. Heero lifted his hand and traced a burning path on my cheek with a single, gentle finger. I moaned, my entire being straining towards his beloved touch. It had been so long since I'd felt his heat against my skin and I nearly whimpered in relief. I turned my head so that my lips brushed against him finger. The baron's gaze sharpened and I was rewarded by the slight hitch I heard in his breath.
Quatre's movements behind me had continued without my awareness as I'd stood lost in Heero's eyes. But the feel of the smooth, rounded piece of wood suddenly pressing against my ass quickly roused me from my complacency. I should not have been startled, of course, but I was and I shied away from the pending intruder. My hasty jerk forward caused me to fall against the baron and I wrapped my arms around his neck in a effort to catch my balance.
Heero's own arms came around me, imprisoning me in his iron grip. A mere wisp of air separated our lips. I longed to close the distance but hesitated, reluctant to appear aggressive when my new life was defined by submission. I gazed into the baron's eyes, pleading silently for him to grant my desire and to press his firm lips against mine. Though I was sure he understood, Heero just held me tightly against him. The tantalizing distance between us remained unbreached.
While I stood securely in the baron's grasp, Quatre nudged his foot against my legs, urging me to spread them apart. I complied absently, distracted by the sensation of my cock rubbing against the fine cloth of Heero's breeches. The golden ring around my flesh was the only thing that kept me from spilling my passion.
The baron's eyes traveled over my face, lingering on my eyes and lips. I knew he was looking at my makeup and I felt a renewed sense of shame, my eyes closing as if I was trying to hide. But one of his hands left my waist and he traced over my lips, careful not to smudge the color. I moaned softly, my sensitive mouth reveling in the feel of any part of him touching me. His other hand moved lowered, coming to rest against the upper curve of my ass. With steady pressure, he urged me towards him until I was flush against his hips.
At first, I wasn't sure what it was I felt, it was so unexpected. But my eyes flew open in wonder as I realized that the firmness I felt against my cock was the baron's only prodigious arousal. I was not so conceited as to imagine that it was solely the sight of my naked flesh that had prompted his enthusiasm. I had been unclothed before him for over a day and he'd had no trouble resisting me; the morning I'd spent ignored in his study was testament to his immunity. So why now were his cheeks flushed, indicating the strength of his ardor?
As my mind struggled to understand, my reason clouded by my own passion, Heero's thumb passed over my tinted lips once more. And then, I knew that Helen had been right. Heero was not disgusted by the paint Relena and her friends had put on my face. Far from it. My eyes stretched in wonder, as I was finally able to perceive the passion in his deep gaze. His voice caressed my ears as he whispered his approval.
"You are beautiful..."
Then, at last, he fulfilled my wish and kissed me. My arms tightened around him as I was swept away, drowning in love for my master and completely unwilling to be saved. I sent Relena a fleeting thought of gratitude before I lost all ability to think.
Quatre chose that moment to insert the larger dildo. It was both longer and thicker than the previous implement and I could feel it stretching me mercilessly. But all I felt was a nearly unbearable pleasure, my sensitized passage welcoming the intrusion like a long lost lover. I moaned as the smooth wood filled me completely, taking me beyond my previous limits. Every inch of my insides were caressed by the relentless device, mocking me with its persistence. It was as if the damnable thing knew what I had only recently come to accept; my body, my soul longed for the domination and fulfillment it could provide. It knew and offered itself as a substitute for that which I truly longed; my baron's cock buried so deeply within me that he would never escape.
Heero devoured my mouth and the dildo engulfed my soul and my poor body ached for release. I cried out against my baron's lips as Quatre inserted the wooden cock a final, devastating inch. My legs gave way, Heero's hold the only thing keeping me from melting towards the floor. As my body adjusted to the new dildo, the baron released my lips. Gasping for air, I buried my face in his strong neck.
"Good night, Duo," Quatre said softly, the pride evident in his tone. My hair was brushed aside and I felt his lips press gently against my shoulder, my body shuddering at the new pleasure. A hand rested on my head for a moment before moving away. I heard the door of the bedchamber close quietly and, finally, I was alone with my master.