July
Part 31
by kebzero
07/31-207
Heero Yuy's Personal Log
At the airport, waiting for my flight out of here. I have mixed feelings about going back to campus. The paper mill you have to go through at registration, for subjects and housing alike, is astounding. There is also the matter of Melanie Jenkins - but with luck, some other poor fool might have put a greater foot in his mouth than I did.
That aside, I still do not understand women - but if Wufei and Duo are to be normal examples, I suppose men simply are not supposed to do that - or vice versa.
Duo left last night, and he seemed genuinely happy. I thought it strange - he hasn't been kind in his words about Hilde, and I can't quite imagine to return to her would be the cause of his happiness. Perhaps I do not understand other people, period. Gender might have nothing to do with it.
I parted ways with Wufei half an hour ago, as his flight departs from another section of the airport. Considering the cranky state he arrived in, our separation was far more amicable. Duo not being here might be part of the reason - the two of them mix about as well as dynamite and detonator caps. It's strange, then, that Duo is the only one who took him up on the offer of enlistment, if in a limited fashion.
Wufei argued with Trowa this morning, on the same issue. No doubt, Wufei had hoped to add Trowa to his success story for spending a month here. Trowa served him a smile and his curt reasoning, "I have better things to do now." I wasn't aware the circus mattered that much to him - or perhaps it has something to do with Quatre. Or both. Wufei looked none to happy, but he didn't push the issue. I almost wish he did, I would have liked to know what Trowa meant, exactly. I prefer absolutes over assumptions.
I couldn't help but note that Trowa stayed at the mansion, rather than share the cab with Wufei and me. As I recall it, his flight is scheduled to leave before my own. I have my suspicions as to why.
I'm happy for them - they seem to have worked out what love is, but their answer is probably not my own.
Or is it? Perhaps I too am gay. I've never tried kissing a guy, but I doubt there would be any sort of magic to that either, especially if Trowa was correct in his theory. Trowa and Quatre have had a long story of being close, just not close enough, until last week. I'd ask Trowa or Quatre for help in this 'experiment', but somehow I think their reaction would be averse. Wufei would no doubt be equally inapproachable on such subjects. I could ask Bradley to kiss me, but as I know him he'd tell everyone at the mere suggestion. Alienating one half of the campus is bad enough, I don't need a reputation in the other half also.
Duo, then? Maybe. Of all the other pilots, of all my friends, he's the one I share the longest story - ever since he shot me, rescued me and I took off after stripping his gundam for parts. If I ask him and he goes ballistic, can our friendship end any worse than it began?
Maybe I'll ask him next time we meet - and perhaps I best test the waters before then. Duo seemed to accept Trowa and Quatre for whom they still are.
You might ask, why do I pursue this matter of love? The answer is actually quite simple. I don't want to end up alone. Solitude did J little good, in the end.
But he had friends.
As do I.
-end file- Yuy, Heero
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