Blurry Moon
Part Five
by Blue Soaring
I felt childish, cowering in the blanket, so I pushed it back a little and
rolled over onto my stomach again, propping myself up on my elbows. Duo
remained silent in the doorway, watching and waiting. He was dressed in his
clothes from last night, and I knew that he had stayed in my apartment
during the day.
"What have you done?" I said, pleased that my voice came out level, calm. I
could feel the three marks on my body like heated metal, searing into my
skin
The silence hung heavy in the air. He started to walk towards me and I
could hear his boots on the carpet, the swish of his clothes. I could hear
the slow beating of his heart, and he was half a room away.
"Marked you," he said finally. The bite marks grew hotter with every step
he took.
"Stop." I sat up slowly, the blanket pooling in my lap. I had wanted to
scramble backwards, anything to keep him away. Panic filled my mouth like a
fine wine, something that I could roll around on my tongue.
He halted, hands loose at his sides. "You're afraid again."
I let out a sharp bark of laughter. "I just felt the sun die, not set, die.
I can hear your heart beating. I'd say that gives me something to be
frightened of."
"You're afraid of yourself, then," he replied.
"You did this to me," I snarled at him.
"Perhaps, though I hadn't thought it possible. Not yet." He started
forward again.
"Get out." My voice wasn't as steady now, my fear was creeping into it. I
fought the urge to clear my throat. Being naked except for the thin sheet
wasn't helping any. I felt too vulnerable. It lent an excitement to the
air that had no right to be there.
"Heero," Duo began. He was almost to the bed.
"No, shut up. I want you out. Now." I rolled off the bed, the sheet
coming with me. I didn't want to face him naked, not when he was clothed,
even if I looked ridiculous clutching the sheet around my waist. I backed
towards the door, away from him.
"Would it make you feel safer if I wasn't here?" he asked, turning to keep
me in sight.
"Much."
"That's foolish, and you know it. You're not stupid, Heero." He shook his
head, a small frown on his face. "Even if I wasn't here, it wouldn't change
anything."
"Insulting me is not going to help your case." I backed out of the doorway
and into the hall, turning quickly and moving into the living room.
The drapes were shut tight and I could still clearly see everything,
including the depressions in the pillows on the couch where Duo must have
slept - or did whatever it was vampires did. I heard him following me down
the hall, and I turned to face him again. If I felt silly dragging my sheet
along with me like a security blanket, I hoped that he felt almost as silly
for chasing me through the apartment.
"What would help my case?" he asked, leaning back against the wall, arms
crossed loosely over his stomach. He was the picture of casual ease.
"Right now, leaving."
"You're being stubborn again. What's done is done. I can't reverse it any
more than you can, and even if I could, I have no intention of doing so."
I stood in the middle of my living room nearly shaking with fear and anger.
I needed him to go away, I needed time to think. I had to know for myself
what was going on, and to do that, Duo had to leave. Everything had
happened so fast already, a week hadn't yet passed.
"Duo," I said, my voice strained. I held myself in check, because if I
started to shout, I'd never stop.
He faced me, his expression blank. He was stunning to look at, all fine
lines and carved alabaster. His hair caressed his body, sliding around him
as he moved. I felt my breath catch and I looked away.
"I revoke my invitation," I whispered.
"Heero, no!" He pushed himself away from the wall, standing in front of me
before I could register that he had moved.
"Go away, Duo," I said, meeting his gaze. I saw shock and disbelief in his
eyes, and maybe even fear.
The air in the room grew close, pressing down on me like a weight. I felt
the pressure steadily increase, muffling every sound, making every breath I
took harder and harder. Duo reached for me, and the air started to move.
My hair blew in a cold wind, stung my face and eyes with the force of it.
My eyes watered and my sight grew blurry, the wind howled in my ears. The
blanket snapped and cracked around my legs.
The apartment door burst open, hitting the wall and cracking the plaster.
The wind narrowed down, focused on Duo and pushed him away from me. His
hair streamed out behind him, his face clean and open as the wind pushed him
back. I saw his lips move as he said my name, saw real fear and loss in his
eyes, and then the wind flung him out the open door. I barely heard the
sound of his body smack the wall in the corridor through the noise. The
door slammed shut and the wind died suddenly, leaving me standing alone in
the room as the blanket settled gently around me.
I sank gasping to the floor, my face wet. My eyes were wide. I felt numb.
I hadn't expected that, nothing even close to that. I stared at the door,
the knob white from where it had gone through the wall. My only thought was
that was the last of my damage deposit. Then, I started to laugh and choked
on it. It was either laugh or scream, and I honestly didn't know which was
worse.
- - - - - - - - - -
Thursday I was back at the office, spouting excuses for my unexplained
absence of the day before. Still, I wasn't any closer to accepting what was
happening to me. I understood it, but I didn't like it. I was trying to
keep my life moving, even though I had lost control of it.
Everything seemed like it was in sharp focus. I could see the specks of
dust on my window, hear the man in the office next to mine murmuring into
the phone. I hadn't turned on the light when I came in that morning, and
even with the sun hidden behind the clouds, the room was still bright enough
to make me wince. I tried to block out the hum of the office and absently
touched my neck, feeling the bite mark through the collar. I knew what
changed.
Last night was a blur to me, I remembered flashes of what happened after Duo
had left . . .after I had thrown him out, but it was disjointed and nothing
made sense. It was near three in the afternoon, and I still hadn't done
anything work-related. I was busy searching the Internet for any
information I could get my hands on.
Duo had started something that night we had met in the hallway, maybe even
before then. He was changing me, stripping away my humanity piece by piece.
Every time I offered him blood, every time I gave in to him, it put me one
step closer to becoming his, completely his. Each new bit of information I
read differed on just how this was supposed to happen, but it was all the
same in the end. If I had Duo, took that last step and had sex with him, I'd
never be free. I'd never be free of him now that he'd marked me.
"Heero?"
I jumped, jerking my head up to see who had spoken. The blond that had
tried to take me clubbing was leaning on the doorjamb, hands tucked into his
pockets and legs negligently crossed at the ankles. I'd heard someone
nearby, but hadn't paid any attention to it. I was too engrossed in my
little problem.
"It can't be that interesting," he said, nodding his head at the computer.
If only he knew. "Not really," I replied.
"Ah," he said, looking closer at me. I'd never noticed that he had blue
eyes, the color of the Caribbean Sea. "Are you alright? You seem . . .
distracted."
"Fine." Now that I was focused on him, I could hear the steady beating of
his heart. I wanted to clamp my hands over my ears. It was time for him to
go away. "I'm just busy." I hoped he got the hint.
He did, and nodded, though his eyes said that he didn't quite believe me.
"Right, I'll leave you to tackle that, then." He left then, giving me one
last look before turning away.
It took me a moment to realize I couldn't remember his name. I had to have
heard it, I'd been working with him for the last year or so, but my mind was
a blank. I sighed, dug the heels of my hands into my eyes. They were
stinging again. I slumped in my chair, blinked at the ceiling, and then
went back to reading.
- - - - - - - - -
I arrived back home well before sunset. All the drapes were still closed,
blocking out what little light seeped through the clouds. It was a relief
to have the burning sun hidden. The clouds were dark and heavy with rain,
hovering over the city like a dark prophecy. Everything was holding its
breath, waiting for the sky to tear open and bathe the city in cool water.
The air was thick with the scent of storm winds, and it reminded me of Duo.
I tried to relax, went through the motions of changing and putting my things
away. As sunset crept closer, my heart sped up and my blood ran faster. I
could feel the light dying behind the curtains. If I could, I would have
stopped the night from ever coming. I was terrified of what it would bring.
The sun died slowly, crimson fingers digging into the earth until they too
fell away and let the night free. I was huddled on the couch, my back to
the window and my head in my hands, eyes clenched shut. I was panting, my
skin covered in a fine sheen of sweat as the sun sank. Pain lanced through
my chest with each breath. It felt like I would shatter from the inside.
Then it was true dark and the tension seeped from my body, leaving me limp
and dazed on the cushions.
I opened my eyes slowly. There were no lights on in the apartment, but I
could see. Not clearly, but I could trace the outline of the chair, the
bricks of the fireplace. Everything was shaded in gray.
I got to my feet, walking through the dim apartment on bare feet. I needed
something to do, but I couldn't read or work, it took an amount of
concentration that I just didn't have right then. The television hurt my
eyes, and I wasn't hungry. I ended up lying down on my bed on my stomach
and staring at the wall. I finally drifted off to sleep, hoping that when I
opened my eyes again, it would be day.
- - - - - - - - -
Cool wind blew along my skin, whispering dark promises to me. Promises that
made me shiver and moan with anticipation. My skin grew hot and I felt
hands sliding up my naked body, over my stomach and chest, along my neck, to
finally bury themselves in my hair. Duo's skin brushed mine, and then he
followed the path his hands had taken, rubbing his body along the length of
my own. The three marks I bore pulsed in time with my heart. I felt his
breath on my face, the flash of pain and pleasure as he sank his teeth into
me and drew my life, my blood, into his mouth. I ached to be touched,
groaned with pure need and reached blindly out.
I woke with Duo's name on my lips. I was sweating, my breathing shallow and
harsh in my ears. My body throbbed, my cock aching and full. I sat up
slowly, the fang marks Duo gave me three blazing points on my body. I
touched my neck and it was wet.
"Fuck," I breathed, staring at my palm. The blood looked black on my skin,
washed of all color in the gray light.
I staggered to my feet, heart pounding against my ribs. I made it to the
bathroom and flicked on the light, wincing and dazed by the brightness. In
the mirror, I could see two thin trails of bright red blood seeping down my
neck. I glanced at my arm and saw the same there, only smeared more from my
movements. I didn't have to check the last bite, I felt the warm trail of
my blood on my leg. I was bleeding like the marks were fresh.
I leaned against the sink, eyes too wide and breathing too irregular. A
drop of blood fell from my neck and hit the counter, oozing slowly down into
the sink. It was a glistening blight on the white surface, bright and real
and damning.
I swiped at it with my hand, smearing more blood on the clean surface. I
had used the hand that had touched my neck. I snarled, turning on the water
and washing the mark away. I scrubbed at my neck, my arm, trying to get the
blood out of my sight. I held the cloth to my neck and when I took it away,
the blood was still seeping. My hair ruffled in a small breeze, falling
across my eyes. I froze. The wind blew again, stronger.
"No," I said, barely above a whisper. "No." I turned around, painfully
slow, and stared down the empty hallway. My hair was pushed back from my
face in a sudden gust. I dropped the cloth and ran down the hall, stumbling
over nothing.
The curtains in the living room were pulled back, dancing in the wind. The
window was open, letting in the cool air, heavy with rain. I walked towards
it, eyes darting to the shadows. I could smell the storm, electric on the
wind.
Outside, the wind howled between the buildings, the tree branches swaying
and adding their own song to the air. The sky churned with blackness.
Something uncoiled inside me, made me gasp. It flowed through my veins,
caressing me in places that were never meant to be touched. I gripped the
sill until my knuckles were white, and still it pushed through me. The
night was calling me, touching me like a lover. The wind was a seductive
kiss against my skin. I screamed and fell back from the window.
The eagerness grew, filled me up to overflowing. I had to get out, had to
answer the call. The storm was almost here. I scrambled to my feet,
running towards the door. When I realized what I was doing, I stopped. I
couldn't go out, the night was Duo's world. The wind swept over me again
and left me quivering. I took a step forward, felt the surge of exaltation
in the air. Power breathed along my skin, urged me to come to it, to wrap
it around my body and bathe in it. Let it take me, let it ride me. It
pushed and pushed, the force increasing until my body ached.
"No!" I screamed, dropping to my knees. "No, I won't! Duo! I won't!"
The wind subsided, ghosting around me and my nose was filled with the scent
of rain. The blood seeping from the marks was burning hot. I fell forward,
caught myself on my hands. The air brushed back my sweat-soaked hair,
curled around me in a gentle caress. It comforted me, dried the tears that
I hadn't known I cried and asked me why I refused it.
- - - - - - - - -
The next time I woke I was stretched out on my bed, above the covers. The
curtains were open just enough to let me see out. The clouds churned in the
sky, but the rain still hadn't fallen. The clock read quarter past noon.
I felt blood on my neck, dried and flaking. The wound itself was tacky to
the touch. My pants were stuck to the mark on my thigh and it tore away
when I moved, wrenching a sharp gasp from me.
I had almost been Duo's last night, the need to run outside into the night
had nearly overwhelmed me. I knew that the next time darkness fell, I would
be lost. I couldn't resist it again, the pull was too strong. The only
reason I had won last night is because the power had let me. Even now,
lying in the dull light of a cloudy afternoon, I felt it reaching for me.
After I showered, I made myself some coffee and watched the news. There was
nothing interesting, the same old problems without solutions. I was oddly
calm. I felt like I should have been doing something, possibly having
hysterics. I called into work, told them I was taking a sick day. And
waited.
As the day went on, I became more and more impatient. I wanted the conflict
to start. I would fight, I had to. I couldn't just lay down and die. The
thought of trying to kill Duo entered my mind more than once, but I had no
way of knowing for sure if that would reverse what was happening to me or
leave me stranded. A few so-called experts said yes, it would, but I didn't
want to take my chances. I'd save that for a last resort.
I was pacing the apartment by six. My skin was crawling, that feeling deep
inside me was stalking my veins again, pouring through me and dragging over
raw nerve endings. I was going to be insane by the time the sun left the
sky.
I busied myself as best I could, which resulted in fussing over my clothes.
I never bothered with that, but it seemed like the lesser evil at the
moment. I poked through my closet, realized yet again that I had developed
a severe pajama obsession, and settled on something to wear. I ended up
with black pants, simply because they were of the lightest material that I
owned. The weather hadn't broke yet and the air was still heavy and close.
It made me wonder if last night had been a dream; it seemed that the storm
was finally here, but when I woke up, the city was still dry. But the blood
on my skin banished all thoughts of a simple dream.
The pants fell in a straight line, the cloth fine enough that they showed
the outline of my body when I moved. I chose a dark blue shirt, long
sleeved and left both the cuffs and the shirt itself unbuttoned. I stared
at myself in the mirror for a long time before I put a tight black tank-top
on underneath it. I was dressing for Duo, and the thought made my stomach
flip, whether it was in fear or something else, I don't know. I wished at
that moment that I owned a gun or some kind of weapon. The alien feelings
rushing through me put the taste of fear and excitement on my tongue.
I felt the sun start to sink below the horizon, and I went to the window,
flinging open the drapes to watch it die. The bright light seared my eyes,
sending white dancing across my vision. I blinked rapidly to clear it. My
body tensed as the light dimmed, heart pounding, and I broke out in a light
sweat. I felt the pain lance through me, stealing my breath and making my
knees buckle. My hands on the frame were the only thing that kept me from
falling. Then, like before, it was done and I was free.
I was leaning on the window sill, panting, when the first tugs of power
roused me. It sang along my nerves, coiling and twisting, stroking a heated
need buried within me. I straightened and unclenched my fists. I would be
in control of this. I waited for the power to crash over me and force the
air from my lungs.
I wasn't prepared for the feel of the power slithering near, curling around
my legs like an animal and creeping up my body. It brushed me with cool
fingers, slid through my body and seeped into my mind as soft as fur.
Instead of crushing me with force, it coaxed me to respond, teasing me with
gentle touches and whispered pleasures. I was rooted to the spot as the
feelings rose over me, drowning me in sweet power. It caressed me and drew
a sigh from my lips. When it called me, I had no resistance left. I went
to meet Duo, and with him, the night.
Outside, the wind had picked up again, turning to sky to a roiling mass of
darkness. I followed the tugging power, let it lead me through the city and
into the trees of a park. The green life pulsed around me, eager for the
rain to fall. I raised my face to the sky and let the night wash over me.
I was no longer scared or anxious, I was eager. I felt Duo in the darkness,
urging me to go to him.
"No," I said, murmuring to the sky. "If you want me, Duo, you'll come to
me." I stood my ground and waited.
His laughter floated on the wind, blending with the wind in the trees. "So
stubborn, even now," he said, materializing from the shadows beside me. His
voice danced along my skin, making my blood flow impossibly fast. My skin
tingled and I felt myself become aroused at the sound of his voice.
"You haven't won yet," I growled, facing him and nearly lost the last bit of
control I was hanging onto so dearly.
Duo's skin seemed to glow with an inner light, pale and bright against the
backdrop of shadows. His hair was loose, flowing in the wind, trailing
across his body. His clothes were blacker than the night, tight and curving
with the lines of his body. I looked at his face, his lips full and curved,
redder against the paleness of his skin, and then I met his eyes. Shifting,
swirling with indigo and cobalt light, sparkling with dark knowledge. I
moved toward him without thinking and he wrapped me in his arms.
"It isn't a game, Heero." He was warm to the touch. I knew he had stolen
that heat from someone and I felt nothing but a passing curiosity. "This is
real."
"I know," I said, instantly becoming defensive again. I wanted to wrap him
and his power around me, let both invade me in every way possible. The
sheer force of the need scared me.
"Do you really?" he asked, sliding his hand into my hair. "You know what I
want, what I'll do. I'll take you, Heero, and you'll never be the same
again."
I pulled out of his embrace, looking at the never-ending play of colors in
his eyes. "I've already gone past the point where I can go back. You made
sure of that."
"A taste of pleasure, the promise of more," he said.
I nodded. "You're a manipulative bastard."
"And arrogant, too," he said with a small shake of his head. He was silent
for a long time, then asked, "Will you regret it?"
I should have started anticipating the unexpected, but every time I turned
around, Duo surprised me. I had to stop and think before I answered. The
way he phrased it made me think that there was something I was missing, that
he wasn't talking about the same thing I was. I couldn't deny that I wanted
Duo, his touch and his sex, and that once I had it, I would spend the rest
of my days craving it. There were worse things in life. Possibly.
"I don't know," I said at length.
Duo looked like he wanted to ask me something more, but he didn't speak. I
could see thoughts flying through his eyes and couldn't read them. He drew
me close again, hands low on my hips and kissed me. He pressed his lips
hard over mine, bruising. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to him. He
thrust his tongue inside, spilling power through me at the same time. I
tried to gasp and he swallowed the sound, tipping my head and plundering my
mouth even as he forced me to swallow his power. I clutched his arms as the
energy surged through me, stealing my strength. I fought to keep my legs
under me even as they grew weaker. Power trickled down my spine, curled in
my stomach and then dipped lower. I was trembling and couldn't stop.
When he pulled away, his voice was husky, his eyes glowing darkly. "I'll
have you, all of you," he said, and the world went black.
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