"When I’m losing control, will you turn me away? Or touch me deep inside? And if all this gets old, will it still feel the same? There’s no way this will die. But if we get much closer, I could lose control, and if your heart surrenders you’ll need me to be whole." - Pat Benatar, Love Is A Battlefield
Fate
Part 17
"Eat."
"I’m not hungry."
"Duo, if you don’t eat, laugh at my jokes, and tell me I’m grand, I’ll…"
"Threaten me yet again? It won’t work you know."
Milliard eyed the bowed head and slumped shoulders, nearly letting defeat get to him again. But he knew something that would perk Duo up. He leaned close to his little brother, eyes narrowing as he took in the dark bruised looking flesh beneath the boy’s eyes. "I know a threat that will work wonders on you." He whispered ominously, pushing the plate closer to Duo.
"Yeah? Like what?" Duo pushed the plate away again, grimacing at the food as if it were poison.
Mil sighed, taking the uneaten food and putting it in the fridge for anyone who might feel the need to eat a second breakfast.
"What if I told you that in the house next door is a boy who really wants to see you?"
"That’s not a threat." Duo replied sulkily, shifting in his chair, interest piqued.
"You’re right, it’s not. It’s a promise."
Duo looked up in surprise, eyes suddenly becoming brighter, mouth quirking at the edges into an almost smile. "Did you have a little chat with him or something?" He asked cautiously.
"Would I do a thing like that?" Milliard tried to look as innocent as possible, but the smirk tugging at his lips belied the guiltless act.
"Yes, you would do something like that. And if you have…"
"Ooh! Threats from you now little bro?" The blond man grinned and danced away as Duo threw an idle fist in his direction. "Look at my knees! I’m shaking with fear!"
Duo smiled for the first time in days, and as his cousin proceeded to walk erratically around the kitchen -cringing occasionally and pretending to be terrified- he started to laugh, filling the kitchen with the brilliant sound.
"Now that’s more like it!" Mil beamed at him, pulling the untouched breakfast back out of the refrigerator and placing it on the table once more. "Now eat, and afterward, go over to Heero’s. I promise he won’t turn you away."
"He’d better not, I have a few pieces of mind to give him first." Duo’s brows drew together as he scowled down at the plate.
"Be nice now little bro, he’s been rather shaky for the past couple of days. You’ve got him confused."
"Oh, I’ll be nice all right, so nice it’ll hurt."
"Just wondering who it will hurt more." Mil mumbled under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing, just wondering if you want more?" He gestured at the rapidly diminishing breakfast, pleased by the sudden return of appetite.
"No, thanks." Duo glanced distractedly out the window, eyes far away. Then abruptly he stood, turning towards the door. "I have a few things I need to do." His footsteps raced up the stairs, and Milliard grinned to himself, pleased with the mornings work. Now all he had to do was sit back and wait.
***
"Booze he says, get him drunk he says, guaranteed to work he says." Heero glared at the bottle sitting on the kitchen counter, then ran his hands through his hair and started pacing again. "Don’t worry Heero, he’ll be by before noon, trust me." He mimicked Milliard’s voice mockingly. It was almost five in the evening, and Duo had yet to drop by for any reason. "If he doesn’t show up soon, I’ll go over to his house and drag him out by his braid." He shook his head at his clenching hand, pausing to stare out the window.
He was so lost in thought that when the expected knock finally did come upon the door, he tripped and fell face first in his effort to sprint to answer it. "This is not a good day." He mumbled to himself, dusting off his clothes before walking at a more sedate pace to answer the steady tattoo of knocking.
Opening the door he felt his breath catch, he hadn’t seen Duo in days. The sudden vision standing on his doorstep making his heart freeze for a moment before it continued beating at a more rapid pace.
"Duo." He breathed, then without a second thought, he dragged the boy into the house, pressing him up against the wall and kissing him until they were both gasping for air. They broke from the kiss, resting their foreheads together. Then stood like that for an endless amount of time, being close again, feeling the life within each other once more. "Do you forgive me for being a complete idiot?" Heero finally asked, eyes closed, hoping for the absolution he sought.
"No." Duo’s answer wasn’t hard or cold, accusing or biting. It was merely a small answer to a large question. He couldn’t forgive so easily, and yet he already had.
Heero frowned, feeling his face grow heated, his chest grow tight. "No." He repeated softly, pulling away, turning his back. "It’s too late for that, isn’t it?"
"Too late for forgiveness? Yes. But I…I’m here, so there is something I want to give you." Duo reached out and trailed a hand down Heero’s arm, wrapping his fingers around the loosely dangling hand and tugging the other boy close again. "Don’t EVER do that to me again, if you have doubts, if you feel like you can’t stand to be around me, then tell me for the right reasons and do it the honest way." He leaned closer, eyes serious and dark in the dim hallway. "Damn you, you should have never done that Heero, never." He pulled the unresisting body against his own, tracing his fingers across the closed eyes. "But what pisses me off, is I still come running over here. And I still want you and love you more than anyone or anything I’ve ever known." He whispered, emotion welling up in his throat, voice becoming thick with it.
"I won’t Duo, I don’t think I can ever do something like that again. I don’t think I would want to." Heero felt the hot tears slide down his cheeks and was so startled he flinched, hastily wiping them away.
Duo grabbed his hand, holding it down and lifted the wet face with his free hand, gazing into the shimmering depths of the damp blue eyes. "Do I have to ask you how you feel? Or will you tell me?"
"I’ve never known what love is, but if wanting you all the time, if you never leave my thoughts, if everything about you I find to be the most fascinating and bright thing in my world. If that’s anything like what love is, then I think I love you." Heero tried to smile and felt like he would break as he did. Every word he spoke coming directly from his soul, and he was afraid again. The fear striking through him, forcing him to feel things he didn’t want to.
Duo could actually see the change creep across those suddenly too still features. He gripped Heero’s chin harder, forcing the other boy to meet his eyes again. "Don’t." He shook the tense shoulders, growing angry at the despondent look on the beautiful face. "Don’t! Dammit! Don’t be afraid of me, don’t be afraid of love, and don’t EVER run from me like that again!" He was suddenly furious, everything he’d been through in the past few days pouring out of him in rage. Then just as fast it was gone again, and he felt all the pain seep out, his fingers once more lightly tracing the outline of the face so close to his own. He sighed and let his fingers mark each cheek, wiping away the tears rolling down them. "What we need, is a very large bottle of something alcoholic."
"Damn, Mil was right." Heero said softly, leaning into the hands still resting on his face.
"Mil was right about what?" Duo pulled away, abruptly wary.
"He gave me a large bottle of bourbon last night, said I would need it. He also mentioned that getting you drunk would work wonders." Heero managed a smile, tugging Duo towards the kitchen. "I think he might have actually been right."
"I hate when Mil’s right."
***
"Who named this stuff anyway?" Duo hiccupped and passed the bottle back to the outstretched hand. "Have I mentioned I hate baths?"
"Wild Turkey? Probably some hunter who moonlighted as a moonshiner." Heero leaned over, taking the bottle, then tilted back his head for another shot of it, gasping as it burned its way down his throat, warming his belly. Slipping lower in the tub filled with warm water, he choked then settled again.
"Moonlighted as a moonshiner? That makes so much sense!" Duo started to laugh, leaning his head back against the wall, legs stretched out beneath Heero. His eyes closed and the laugh turned into a giggle, his hand sliding up to rub the wet bangs from his forehead. "Hey, is dinner still out there? Or did we eat it already?"
"Since when is the floor out there? Yeah, it’s right here." Heero peered over the edge of the tub, sloshing more water onto the already wet floor. Smiling, he picked up the large plate of hors d’oeuvres, and offered it to Duo. "Try one of those little round ones, I think they’re cheese."
"I am so glad we thought to bug Mil for food. Figure out what those triangles are yet?"
"I think," Heero took one and nibbled at it, resting the plate on the edge of the tub. "It’s sweet whatever it is." He crawled until he was half on top of Duo, holding out the rest of the little triangle towards the other boy’s lips. "Taste." He ordered, smiling into the amethyst eyes as they opened and focused on him, blurred with alcohol.
Duo snapped open his mouth, and managed to suck on a few fingers before they left his vicinity. "Umm," he rolled the flavor around, one hand slipping about Heero to pull him down so that they lay stretched together inside the tub. "Fruity."
"I think I’m going to pass out." The fine dark hair spread over Duo’s shoulder mingling with the sun streaked mass that had come undone and lay about them in the water. "I mean, yeah, I mean pass out. Don’t I?" Heero’s head swiveled a bit on the warm shoulder, his expression questioning and vague, then he closed his eyes, snuggling further into the water against Duo.
"You mean pass out. And if you’re going to we’d better get the hell out of this tub. Because unlike you Mr. Muscle Man," he poked one arm, wrapping his fingers around it. "I can’t carry you to bed." He lifted the arm and let it flop back in the water, splashing them both. Heero started to giggle and Duo couldn’t help joining in. They rolled in the water till they lay side-by-side, feet up on the ledge of the tub. "I might be able to carry you if I was sober." Then he added almost as an afterthought. "But I’m not."
"Really? I could have sworn…"
Duo rolled his eyes. "You’re one to talk. Did you many drink how…I mean how drinks many did you…grrr… How many shots did you have!?" He finally managed to get out, and then started laughing again.
Heero glared at his hand and began slowly counting, holding up a finger for each number. "One, and then another one, and then I had some more…"
"Wait, wait. How many is some more?" Duo grabbed the hand with five fingers sticking up and carefully counted. "Hey! There’s five fingers up, I don’t remember you getting that many up!"
"I didn’t get them up," Heero sighed and closed his eyes again, the bathroom kept spinning when he tried to open them, he felt himself get pulled against Duo and relaxed in the snug embrace. "I got them down, and I have no idea how I did that." He mumbled against the wet neck pressed against his mouth.
"Well don’t let them come back up, and let’s get out of this tub before we drown." Duo pulled himself up on the edge of the tub, yanking Heero with him until they were half sitting up and sprawled against it together. There was a clatter as the plate fell to the floor, and Duo silently thanked Milliard for putting the food on plastic. "There goes dinner."
"Oh, I couldn’t eat another bite thanks."
Duo chuckled and tugged until he sat on the edge of the tub with Heero lying slumped over his lap. "Oh!" He exclaimed when he felt the soft nip on the inside of his thigh. "Heero! We need to get out of this tub! Before I fall out of it." Another bite, followed by gentle suckles and licks to the abused flesh. "Mmm…out…of...the…tub." He managed to gasp out as the nips and kisses traced a path towards the juncture between his legs.
"Mmmno." Heero bit down on the soft skin again, moving closer to the hardening shaft standing up beside his face.
"Please? Aahhh!" Duo slid his fingers through the wet hair, tugging, hands clenching. His own hair dripped on the bathmat behind him, water sliding down his skin as he rocked within the hot mouth that slid around him. He arched backwards, bracing himself against anything he could. "Aaahh…god… Heero…" And then he heard something he didn’t think he would forget for the rest of his life. Heero was humming, and it was a recognizable tune.
Duo started to laugh, slipping completely off the edge of the tub and onto the floor, Heero landing in a graceless heap beside him. "Mission Impossible?!" The echoes of the yell bounced around the bathroom.
***
"Heero?"
"Huh?"
"What’s sex like?"
If Heero had been sober, he would have choked, but as it was, the fog inside his mind kept him from doing any such thing. Instead, he began to explain as best he could, gesturing at the ceiling with one hand, the other wrapped around the bottle of Wild Turkey. "It’s like, well, it’s like everything that’s good all in one thing."
Duo dragged himself over to the bottle and peered into it, squinting shut his other eye, and ignoring the fact that the lights were off, the room nearly dark but for the moonlight shining in through the window. Then carefully he wrapped his lips around the mouth of the bottle, tilting Heero’s hand so he could get a drink. He shuddered as the liquid traced a fiery path down his throat. "And what’s that like?" He managed to choke out, coughing for a moment, then resting his head against Heero’s hand.
"It’s amazing. It feels like the entire world is spinning around you. No, wait. I mean revolving, yes, the entire world revolving around you. And it’s like, it’s like everything is all warm and hot and covering you with a blanket. I don’t know, it’s nice though, really," he hiccupped, "Really nice."
Duo nodded against the hand pressed alongside his face. "When are you going to have sex with me?" He nuzzled against the hand for a moment, and then shifted around on the bed until he could snuggle more firmly against Heero, throwing an arm over him.
Once again, Heero would have choked or sputtered at this question too, and once more, instead, he tried to answer it. "Whenever you want it. Whenever you’ll let me."
Duo thought about it for a few minutes, one hand sliding lazily up and down Heero’s chest. He breathed in the scent of the boy lying next to him, laying his lips against the smooth flesh of one cheek. "Now?" He whispered, then frowned when Heero didn’t move or say anything in response. He was about to say it again, when he heard the softest of snores. "Oh sure, now you pass out on me." Then he smiled slightly. "I suppose it’s better than passing out in the tub."
Reaching over he tugged at the blankets that had fallen to the floor earlier, pulling the thin material over the two of them. "In the morning." He said softly, right before he followed Heero into oblivion.
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