Sleepless Nights
Part 1
by Jade Black
The fires raged. Angry oranges and reds engulfing everything in sight. The
screams of the children. Of the nuns, of the villagers living nearby. I knew
them all, I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing- these were the people
I loved. But I was frozen to the spot, suspended in time. I could hear
Father Maxwell and Sister Helen… and, somewhere amidst it all, Solo.
The fire was crawling closer, destroying anything that obstructed it’s
path. If I didn’t move, then I would die along with them all. Perhaps that
wouldn’t be so bad. The flames would just lick at my skin- and there would
be the final pain before nothing. I’d never believed in heaven, no matter
how much Father Maxwell would preach to me- I was no born Catholic, just a
worthless and homeless orphan sent out onto the streets; stuck wearing a
priest’s shirt five sizes too big for me, and the only pair of pants left in
the chapel from all the elders.
The screams reached me at a crescendo, like razor blades and sandpaper to
my ears. And that made me run. I turned and sprinted down the street. I ran
and ran and ran and ran… on down into darkness- but the road didn’t seem to
end. It just got darker and darker and darker- until I couldn’t see my hand
before my face. I could still hear screaming… but it could well have been my
own.
---
I woke then, blot up-right, sweat running down my brown and neck. It was
still dark. I glanced around, blinking sleep out of my eyes- but I was
somehow suddenly alert. I guess that was what three years as a Gundam Pilot
did to you. The dreams were becoming more and more frequent, each one with
new violence and terror. Each night it got worse, I just couldn’t seem to
stop thinking about it. It gave me a headache that could have knocked out an
elephant- migraines that stayed throughout the day…
And then this grotesque rumbling sensation that came with only a little
pain emanated from my stomach, and I clutched it as I rolled over and out of
bed. I stole a quick glance at the beautiful Asian that lay entwined in the
bed sheets, a vision straight out of a wet dream- but I didn’t have time for
that right now. After putting on a denim jacket that was just within
grabbing-reach, I made my way down the stairs to raid the fridge for
leftovers that could have seemed appealing that early in the morning.
The little kitchen was bathed in soft and somehow comforting moonlight, so
I didn’t bother to switch the lamp on. I just headed straight for the
fridge-, which also sent a ray of warm yellow light across the room in a
half-assed attempt to compensate for the chill that opening the door also
released. I pulled out some bread, some leftover chicken and a half-frozen
Snickers bar. Putting my miniature feast down on the lopsided wooden table,
I shoved the chicken between the two slices of bread and bit into it like I
hadn’t eaten for months. Just that one bite began to settle my stomach, and
I started to feel better. I glanced at the clock. 01:27.
I wasn’t really surprised when Heero walked in. He was silent as he
descended the staircase, but I still knew he was there, without seeing him.
It’s just like a feeling or a premonition I get when he’s around, a sudden
sensation of comfort and safety. I turned and looked at him, my mouth still
stuffed with the impromptu chicken sandwich. He was wearing just a pair of
striped blue and white pyjama bottoms, and looked oddly perfect and pure
framed on the staircase. Rather like a fallen angel, the light from the
window at the top of the stairs giving him a strange glow of power. I nodded
in acknowledgement of his arrival, and he smirked ever so slightly,
half-closing his eyes momentarily, as ever the sage, though I could hardly
see the movement in the dim light. I turned back to the table, and he walked
past me silently to open the retro-style fridge, hunting inside.
After a moment, he turned, and closed the fridge- obviously not finding
something he fancied. Then he glanced down at the table, and grabbed the
Snickers before I could stop him. He grinned maliciously (or as close as
Heero Yuy could some to grinning) at me and then took a large bite of it. I
couldn’t stop myself from laughing, it’s just so funny to see someone like
him openly break their façade and stuff their face like that. Perhaps they
were rubbing off on each other- I was talking less, and he was eating
chocolate. He shrugged off my laughter, swallowing, “It was mine anyway,” he
said quietly, and I laughed again. His smiled widened just a touch, and then
he looked up at me again. “So, why can’t you sleep?”
“I was thinking.”
“Elaborate.” He bit into the Snickers again.
“About stuff. You, me, work, play. That kinda thing.”
“That doesn’t explain a lot. Especially since you were dreaming- not
thinking.” This guy was like an extremely blunt shrink at times- an ordinary
person would beat around the bush for half an hour and then go back to bed,
but him? Noooooo…
“It was just the usual. The church, the fire, the screams. It’s nothing to
worry about. I’ve always dreamt this stuff…”
He bit into the Snickers again, and chewed it over before answering. God
forbid talking with your mouthful; but he was cute like that, in his little
ways. “Perhaps we should see someone about it. I feel bad- since I can’t
help you.”
I thought about it for a moment. Heero always seemed to know what was
right, but I really didn’t want to see any psychiatrist just because I was
dreaming of my past. It’s not like they could actually do anything for me.
It wasn’t uncommon or anything. Still, though, perhaps it was worth thinking
about. “You know,” I said, decided to change the subject. “I haven’t been on
holiday in three years.”
A flicker of a frown passed across Heero’s face, but he soon schooled it to
its usual nonchalant expression. They both now worked for the Preventers-
special branch. “What would you do on holiday? You’re abroad all the time.”
“I don’t know. Relax. Find some hot stud on a tourist infested beach in the
Europe somewhere and make him rub suntan lotion into my back until the sun
came down. Drink tequila all day and wake up early afternoon the next with a
hangover to bring down a small army and do it all over again. Something
along those lines.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a lot of ideals.”
“And you’re trying to tell me you haven’t?”
“I’d go camping somewhere. Find some trees.”
“You plan on hugging them?”
He didn’t get the joke. “No. The air is always clearer round trees- it’s
nice to be able to breathe freely- not like you can here.”
It seemed like a very strange thing to say, but I knew what he meant. Just
the opportunity to free up your chest from the pollution that jammed the
city air together. Escape the humidity and the electricity and go back to
what could have once been. Of course, I didn’t expect Heero to put it in so
many words- but he managed to make it clear in just a few… it takes a lot of
thought to do that. There was no one who could say it better than Heero… he
was just perfect.
“Well,” Heero said, screwing up the wrapped to the chocolate bar and
throwing it perfectly into the trash can over his shoulder. “Do you want to
come back to bed? I’m sure I could make it worth your while.”
I smiled at that. Certainly perfect.
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