Growing Into You
/You never grow out of mischief making/
I watched him dance around the kitchen while he "cooked" for us. He was
quite happy with his progress...never mind that there was smoke pouring from
the oven, the pot on the stove was boiling over, and he was covered in flour
from head to toe, looking suspiciously like the walls.
/You never grow out of taking
You never grow out of complicating
When simple things are waiting/
He fanned at the smoky, now-open oven with a towel, and the pot on the stove
chose that moment to send its contents over the edge of the range onto the
hot oven door. Splashes of hot liquid hit him in the face, thankfully
missing his eyes. He sputtered, cursing, and tossed the towel behind him as
he slammed the over door shut. The rejected bit of fabric landed on the
table, sending a vase full of flowers crashing to the floor. More curses. I
wanted to yell at him for making a mess, or at least turn my head away from
the baka and go back to my laptop, but something bound my attention to him.
Then he looked up at me, smiling sheepishly. I was hooked.
/I'm growing into you
I'm growing into you/
How could I be fascinated by such silliness? He was a comrade, little more
than another soldier---and a fairly annoying one at that. He was my friend,
yes, but I felt something more. But I didn't want that kind of commitment.
That kind of weakness... Did I?
/There's one thing that I know
That's perfectly clear
You never grow out of fear
You never grow out of fear/
As he continued to masquerade around the kitchen, I found myself smiling at
his antics instead of annoyed. I realized that I had always looked forward
to his company, his seemingly endless chatter. The problem was, I had never
been trained for this. I was unsure what to do in the event that I...well, I
was a soldier. I wasn't supposed to be in this situation anyway.
/You never grow out of contemplating/
I was dragged from my thoughts by some more of his babbling. He was asking
me stupid questions---about why he couldn't use a regular drinking glass
when the recipe called for a cup, or why he had to beat eggs first when it
was "all going to get smashed together anyway?" I tried to explain to him,
but it was useless. He was like a child. So innocent and inquisitive. It
pulled at my heart.
/When it ain't worth debating/
I finally gave up, and turned my attention back to my laptop, but it didn't
faze him at all. He kept on trying, to the point of starting over on the
soup...
/You never grow out of mistake making/
I'd patiently showed him how to make the soup the last three times he tried
to cook. For some reason, though, he kept putting in soybeans instead of soy
sauce. When I corrected him yet again, he just grinned his trademark smile
and pretended like he'd meant to do it.
/You never grow out of faking/
I sighed and went to the kitchen to help him. I wanted to hit the baka.
/But I'm growing into you
I'm growing into you/
Dinner that night wasn't nearly as elaborate as he'd planned, but it was
edible. We finished eating, and washed the dishes while he chattered some
more. I smiled inwardly, thinking about his mindless jabber at the table. He
had so much to say, and every pointless word was like an exciting story to
him. He was so animated, so lovely. I was getting too attached. I was
getting scared.
/There's one thing that I know
That's perfectly clear
You never grow out of fear
You never grow out of fear/
I would go into battles that were guaranteed suicide missions without an
ounce of hesitation. I would jump from buildings, self-detonate, and blow up
bases while standing thirty feet away...but I was afraid of one little
involvement with a good-hearted person. It confused me.
/I'm growing into you
I'm growing into you/
Thinking about the situation only made it harder to deal with. I couldn't
deny how I felt about him, no matter how scared I was. So I took a deep
breath and tossed the towel I was drying dishes with on the counter.
/There's one thing that I know
That's perfectly clear/
I turned to him, mustering all the courage I had. "Duo." He looked up at me
with round violet eyes.
/I'm growing into you
I'm growing into you/
I took his chin in my hand, and leaned toward him until our faces were mere
inches apart. "Duo," I said again, more softly, trying to communicate my
feelings to him. My heart was pounding. But I threw out my inhibitions, and
kissed him gently.
/You never, never grow out of fear
Get over it, get over it/
He gasped, surprised. I pulled back, chiding myself for being brash. But
then I looked at him, and he smiled. Then he pulled me in for another kiss,
and I knew I was finished. Screw the soldier.
/I'm growing into you
I'm growing into you/
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