Another Version of Events
by Karan Seraph
Chapter 19
Heero was rather pleased when he found Duo just as he had left him. Truthfully he had been gone only twenty seconds, but he had still worried that Duo would try to escape and that he would have to move him sooner than he wanted. Heero lifted the scissors in his hand. Immediately Duo squirmed.
"No!" Heero rushed forward and stretched his arms to make sure that Duo was not able to free himself from the hook or cuffs. "Not for your hair!" They were pressed rather close as Heero lowered his arms. Duo's eyes fixed on Heero's. They seemed they might actually quiver he stared so hard. "Yes, scissors, I do use them on my hair, but I will not cut yours," Heero said calmly.
Heero pet Duo's face with his left hand. He tried to smile. He gave Duo a quick kiss on his lips. Duo seemed somewhat comforted. He wasn't talking very much. Maybe he thought he wasn't allowed. Heero kissed his lips again, a slight more slowly.
"You are doing very well, Duo-chan. I am pleased. I know you trust me, but you need to learn to absolutely trust me. It will happen. You will see. I will show you that you can. All right?"
Duo gave a nod.
Heero pet his face again. He loved Duo very much. Somehow, they would do this. They would perfect themselves together and then just be happy together. Maybe not happy every day, but there would be happiness and they would get through everything else together. Yes, Duo was the one Heero could do that with.
"I love you. You don't have to say you love me now, not unless you do and you want to say it. I will take care of you. You will see. You can talk if you want to. I might like if you told me how you are feeling... I try to read your body language. I may not read it perfectly yet, but I am fairly confident you will be OK like this if we try a few more things. If I needed to know, I would tell you to speak. Right now, it is only an invitation."
"I want you to touch me even more. I would have even let you touch me with the knife."
Heero gave a nod in understanding. "I know. You trust me and you want to feel you are not alone. I know. We don't need the knife, Duo-chan. We. Do. Not. Need. It. Here. That's why I threw it away. But, I still meant everything I said about your clothes."
"Mmmn."
"The outfits are intriguing." Heero held the scissors by the blades and let the worm plastic handles touch Duo's ribs. He put his other hand on Duo's chest as he kissed Duo's neck. "But I should be able to get to your body on my terms. You have given yourself to me, haven't you? My pet? My lover?"
"Yours," Duo answered.
"I like my body," Heero said, of course meaning Duo. "I like touching it."
"Yeah."
Heero flipped the scissors around and cut the short seam of the briefs at Duo's left hip. He took a slight step back to cut the seam on the other side and watched the fabric fall.
"I have a nice body," Heero said as he touched the back of one finger to Duo's dick.
"You have a nice body." Duo of course meant Heero.
Heero stepped in again, a hand on Duo's dick, the scissors dropped to the floor, his body close to Duo. "My prisoner?"
"Yours," Duo whispered.
"You were a soldier."
No answer. That meant yes. Not government sponsored military, but still a soldier and that meant he wouldn't give any information to his captor.
"Then, it is your duty to escape from me. But, I think you believe that I am not lying to you. You know that even if you escape this level of restraint, there are likely further levels. You know that I am strong. You can't escape if I do not want you to. You can not do your duty. You have failed. You know that you have failed everyone..."
A little whine that almost sounded like Heero's name.
Heero shifted, moving his hands to Duo's back as he pressed against Duo's body. Some large part of him wanted to rip off his clothes and fuck Duo. He was just about ready for that, he thought. Though, waiting a few days would be OK. Heero had learned more thoroughly to suppress physical feelings than he ever had emotions, so waiting for a time when his emotions agreed with his body was never much of a problem. Well, not usually.
He had slipped up in the past and his hands did seem to stray toward Duo's ass all on their own. Duo. Naked. Right there. Heero was falling. His thoughts edged with chaos. Had he forgotten what Duo's nipple tasted like? Better confirm the facts.
"Nnnn." And then, a jingling and a sort of shinking sound. Duo was straining in his bonds, the elaborate jewelry on his body giving him away with soft metal on metal noises.
At once Heero remembered that Duo needed him to play a role through and that previously Duo had liked it very much when he moved his tongue and lips about the nipple ring in a particular way. Heero put the tip of his tongue through the rightmost ring as he sucked at Duo's chest.
"Aah, no!"
Heero stood absolutely straight. No. Duo had said no. What did that mean? No, obviously, but what in what context? What was he denying or disagreeing with?
Duo was silent but for a sort of whimpering.
Heero made his voice as steady as he could. "Do you mean that you are upset and horrified that you have failed everyone?"
Duo nodded. "I did not want to feel that way."
"You have failed everyone, Soldier, everyone except me."
Another nod.
"There is no one else. I am your universe. You can not escape. You can not do your duty. I am the only one you can be concerned with."
"Yes!"
"It is your secondary duty to resist me."
A nod.
"If you resist me, there will be punishment. You will be punished when you deserve it, for resisting."
A nod.
"I could punish you by leaving you alone."
"No!"
Heero smiled. "If I do not allow you to feel something then you do not feel. You have failed everyone, but there is a chance you can succeed in pleasing me. There is no one but me, your captor, and there is nothing but your new duty to please me."
"No."
"Loneliness and void except for the faces that haunt you for failing them! Or me."
"Yes!" Duo cried out.
Heero nodded. "Yes...?"
"Yes, I will please you, because I dread the absence of your touch and your just punishment, but most of all because it is your will and there is only your will. I firmly resolve, with the help of thy grace, to please you in every way that I can." It sounded like prayer. Heero didn't know any Catholic prayers fully, or other prayers for that matter, but he had heard them said and this had that cadence and vocabulary.
"Like a prayer."
Duo started singing a song under his breath, humming for the most part so that Heero did not catch the lyrics. It sounded pretty.
"And now you deserve your just reward for surrendering to me?" Heero asked.
Duo stopped singing and looked down at Heero. "Huh?"
Heero smiled, he could not help it really. Not with Duo. It was hard to be so guarded with Duo, when usually it was hard not to be guarded with people. Heero pulled the condom from the back pocket of his pants and showed it to Duo. "Or, I will show you absolutely that you are mine, to touch as I wish and to allow to feel what I wish." Heero cursed himself silently for not being stronger. Duo needed him to remain in control.
Duo spoke to him, only with his eyes, but the words were very clear in Heero's mind: "Nothing but yours. Heero. Make me yours. Make me deserve everything you wish to give me. Let me deserve you. Let me want you."
"Yes. Punishment only if you resist. I will do what I want to you and you will deserve everything you feel."
"Anata no... anata no mono," Duo whispered. There was something different. Duo had changed the entire manner of his speaking, recently and specifically in regard to Heero. Even in English, and not only when he might be considered to be playing a role.
Heero touched a hand to Duo's dick. He leaned in toward Duo's ear. "Mine."
"Heero." Just his name. The name he used. It sounded different now. It wasn't a matter of accent really, there was just something in Duo's voice that was changed.
Heero put the condom onto Duo. He had a sudden flash of memory, Midii saying that even she knew Heero had loved Duo, because of the way he said his name.
"Heero." He just kept calling his name.
Heero slid down to his knees. He kept constant contact of his hands on Duo's body and his mouth on Duo's dick. He wished he had always been Heero, the way Duo said it.
In sighs. In gasps. Wretched guttural groans. Just, "Heero."
When he sensed Duo's legs were going, Heero quickly pivoted to put his shoulders beneath Duo's legs. There was a moment of awkward shifting and then Duo's knees locked over each of Heero's shoulders. Heero craned forward to continue the oral stimulation he wished to give Duo. Their weight was entirely in Heero's knees and Duo's shoulders, pressed to the front door. It gave Duo just enough leverage to work free of the hook; Heero knew it.
"Heero."
"Heero."
They went on, straining, Heero's hands helping to support Duo's lower back, until Duo came to the climax of need and satisfaction and then fell limp. Only then did he free his hands, in the last straining second when Heero threw their weight into the door. So, they both slipped down, dragging each other to the floor.
Duo made a choking sound that made Heero look up from tying off the soiled condom. He was staring at nothing so far as Heero could determine.
"Duo?"
"I got my hands free."
Why didn't he joke about it? "That was naughty, Duo-chan. I would have taken you down very soon."
"I'm sorry."
"Show me. Go stand in front of the mirror and wait. If you do not I will only have to punish you more when I force you to stand there."
Duo got up and walked.
Heero picked himself up from the floor. He tossed the condom in the kitchen compactor then picked up the spilled items from the floor.
Heero walked into his bedroom. He put the scissors, box and skirt on the top of the dresser. Duo was standing there before the mirror, striped stockings, white dress shirt hanging open, cuffs on ankles and wrists, collar, hair slipping slightly from its braid. His coat was on the dresser near the brush. Koi was sniffing at Duo's legs.
"He smells like he is mine," Heero told the dog, not that he believed Koi had spoken to him.
"I'm sorry," Duo said. He rushed the two steps toward Heero and reached for the waistband of his pants.
Heero caught Duo's wrists, pushed them back and held them fast. "No."
"Heero..."
"Get on the bed," Heero commanded.
Duo side-stepped then crawled onto the bed. Even as Duo was lowering himself Heero darted a hand just beneath the frame of the bed and grasped the ring and latch there. He drew it out quickly; extending the cord that was also attached to the ring from its concealment.
Heero clipped the device to Duo's left ankle cuff then reached for another ring on the next corner of the bed. He clipped that to Duo's right ankle. Then, hopping to the bed and pinning Duo beneath him, Heero pushed Duo's arms toward the curtain that served as a headboard. Stretching over Duo's head, Heero grasped the rings hidden at the upper corners of the bed and securely clipped the end of a cord to each of Duo's wrists.
"Wh-when did you get this?"
"It was already installed last time you were here, I just didn't use it. Don't worry, if you seem very able to escape, I'll make adjustments to the system. I didn't have the opportunity to test it on anyone exactly your size and strength, so I had to make a few estimates!" Heero smiled and kissed the top of Duo's head.
Heero heard jingling and he saw Duo flexing his arms. The particular elasticity of the cord should provide Duo a safe range of movement without enabling him to escape or harm himself, Heero thought. He had tried to calculate the best length for the cords and the most efficient angles to place each piece of hardware in relation to the rest, beneath the bed.
Duo squirmed a little between Heero's thighs. The sheets were dark green satin today and didn't provide very good traction. Especially in the stockings, Duo just slipped and fell back into place.
"Sssh," Heero whispered.
"What?"
"Sssh." Heero smirked to himself, relaxed and then farted. He bit his lip to keep from laughing.
Duo coughed. "God! Heero!"
Heero picked up the end of Duo's braid from between his legs and tossed it to Duo over his shoulder. He watched Duo sniff at the end of the braid.
"Aw, Heero! You farted on my braid! That is just wrong!" Duo struggled to get free again or to attack Heero, but he didn't seem to be able to.
Heero laughed. He leaned forward and pinched Duo's face. "See? I got color back in your cheeks without having to spank you. You had me worried, lying on the floor there. I thought I'd really broken you... completely. Didn't your Mad ever warn you that sex can be used as a conditioning tool?"
"Not really," Duo said dryly.
Heero climbed off of Duo and lay beside him on the bed, likewise on his stomach.
"You're not... interested or anything?" Duo asked.
"Oh, I am always interested in you, I just happen to be concentrating pretty hard on scrolling code and stuff like that. Don't worry. I'm good."
Duo looked like he wanted to fold his arms to make a pillow. The cord didn't allow him quite that much range, so he just lay his cheek against the sheets and looked listless again.
"You are OK, aren't you? Duo? I wanted you to feel free... not to leave you broken and twitching on the floor. I don't actually think I have hurt you. I sense... something else. It's something else?"
"I-I'm sorry... I guess I seem dazed or something to you, huh?"
"Yes," Heero admitted.
Duo managed to draw his arm in enough to prop himself up on his elbows. He turned his head to look at Heero. "To tell the truth, I'm beyond caring if it is conditioning or if it's normal or any of that shit. I just know that it's you and I'm OK with what we're doing. It's never been quite like this with anyone..."
"Kind of making it up as I go," Heero admitted, "But," he added in his authoritative voice, "that does not mean I take the situation or your trust in me lightly."
Duo nodded. "You broke me, Baby. Broke me in the best way. I can't tell you... I just can't tell you yet exactly what I feel. I could try if you insisted, but it will make more sense if you give me time to feel this and think about this." Duo sighed and sank down to the futon again.
"I suppose, I just expected it would be... different."
"Heero..." His left hand was reaching.
Heero put his right hand over Duo's hand.
"You deserved the trust I gave you as much as I deserved what you gave me. If I thought you would or could tear me apart so much that I was mindless and twitching on the floor and it wasn't just that I needed time to recover from mind-blowing sex... if you were going to leave permanent scars and destroy the good parts of me... you wouldn't be you... and I wouldn't trust you. Right?"
"Right. I want to better us. I want to help you."
"Baby, you did. I don't have words to tell you, but I want to. I promise I will tell you."
"I will hold you to that promise."
"I hold you to all of yours."
Heero smiled. "Duo, why don't you just take a nap. Get some rest now. I will wake you up and drive you back to Relena's so you will be able to sleep and get ready for school."
"I was going to go to Headquarters."
"I can drive you there."
"I can take the train."
"Duo-chan... I realize you are a grown man and trained to kill... I just don't feel right letting you take a train across the Quarter in a skirt and no underwear."
"Then don't slice up my clothes next time!" Duo teased.
Heero growled. "I thought you looked a bit drained, but if you do not want to sleep, at least let me drive you there now. I have to return the car and walk Koi anyway."
"What if I don't like the idea of you walking alone on the streets looking so gorgeous all the time?"
Heero snorted a laugh. "I am a grown man and trained to kill," Heero deadpanned, "and I have Koi with me. He can cross busy streets and open some types of doors on his own now."
"If I let you drive me, I'll want a kiss goodnight. And I won't want all the guys gawking, so that means I'll have to ask you to walk me to my room before you kiss me. If I get you in my room, I'll ask you to sleep with me. Then I won't actually sleep. I'll have a bad day at school. You see? Better you let me take the train."
"All right, take the train," Heero relented.
"You'll have to release me."
Heero turned onto his side and looked Duo up and down. "I like you bound to my bed."
"Yeah, well, our arrangement doesn't include living together yet and you say you don't want a slave, so you better just let me go."
Heero smiled. Duo's tone was nowhere near annoyed. He liked being bound to Heero's bed. "I will," Heero said. Of course he made no move to release Duo, not yet.
Duo submitted, falling flat to the bed again and only occasionally causing his bells to jingle as he repositioned a leg. "Heero?"
"Yes?"
"Did you ever want me to fuck you?"
"I thought about it."
"You did?"
"Yes."
Silence. Duo was waiting for him to continue. Heero knew. "Well?"
Heero smiled. "I thought that since I have never done it with a person that I should try once, maybe with you, to see how I feel about it. But, since you know the position you like, I thought I would try that first, before I thought more about doing it the other way around."
Duo lifted his head and grinned. "A person? That means you tried it without a person?"
Heero looked at his fingernails as if they were really interesting.
"Yuy!"
"I told you I was in training. Work has been slow. I get a lot of training in."
"Wow, so, how far along are you? I thought you only had so many steps before live tests?"
"Well, in a manner of speaking. But I do a sort of maintenance workout and I am always attempting to broaden my area of knowledge and willing to experiment... well... to a certain degree. A few things I have read about I did not have to try to know I would not like them."
"Like what?"
"You know, animals, children, dead bodies."
Duo laughed. "Glad to hear you didn't try those."
"I tried a lot of other stuff, you know, such as I could on my own."
"Yeah, like what?"
Heero smirked. "Well, I keep a log of erogenous zones and 'turn-ons' and duration of erection or recovery time. But, you told me you don't want that information. Remember? 'You're my model car!' I also have some new files in which I write down fantasies that come into my mind or positions I want to try."
"Then... why don't you tell me this stuff... when we're doing it?"
"I don't understand. Well, because I just do it. Before tonight I had performed oral sex for you, but not with your hands bound. Not with your legs over my shoulders quite like that. It seemed very different to me. I'd never done it exactly that way before. You said we shouldn't cheat and give each other a manual. I would know just what you wanted if you did that. I don't know what you like yet. Well, except you told me how you want me to fuck you. I am sort of planning to do it another day."
"Planning."
Heero stood up and walked to the door.
"Don't you leave me like this!" Duo cried out, nearly screamed. "Heero!"
Heero took in a deep breath and looked toward Duo. "I am not leaving. I just need to breathe. It felt like we were about to fight again, and about something stupid."
"Just don't leave," Duo said more quietly.
"I am not leaving," Heero said calmly. "Though your paranoia that I will leave you makes me want to force you to face that fear, I am resisting the urge."
Silence. Just then Duo was very aware of his fear and Heero's very real power over him and Heero could sense the fear very clearly. Another secret fully revealed, another psychological wound torn open, like a bone rebroken to heal more correctly, even though it meant feeling pain. Heero hadn't done this on purpose, but he had done it. He had frightened Duo into revealing information. He was breaking his prisoner without trying very hard.
It was because Duo gave Heero an awful lot of power when he placed his trust in him.
They talked to each other a lot now. They confessed feelings. But, there was so much they still kept inside. Heero hadn't meant to force more emotions and memories to be expressed, but he had.
Quickly Heero walked back to the bed. He unclipped the latches from the rings on Duo's wrist cuffs first and then released his ankles. Slowly Duo sat up beside him. Heero couldn't quite read the emotion or the body language now. "Duo...?"
"Yosh'" Duo said quietly. His tongue moistened his lips.
Heero tilted his head slightly and then leaned in to kiss Duo. He felt hungry, the way he nipped and sucked at Heero's tongue. Heero let him have it. He pushed his tongue into Duo's mouth and tasted him. Their previous kisses today had been light. Heero had missed this.
He loved kissing Duo. They'd messed up other things but they'd never really fumbled kissing. This got Heero hot. This made him lose reason like virus in a mainframe.
He combed his fingers into Duo's hair, felt Duo's hands opening his shirt. Heero tried to break the kiss but Duo's teeth held his lip. Heero flicked his tongue from his mouth and licked Duo's nose. Duo drew back, laughing and rubbing his nose.
"Duo." Heero willed his body to be controlled. "You have school tomorrow."
"Yeah, but it's not that late. I think it's only... not even ten yet."
"It's around ten now."
"Heero, I'm not a kid. I'll sleep when I sleep. Right now I feel like the sexiest thing in this."
Heero did like the stockings himself.
"I feel good, Heero. You make me feel good. So good that I was kinda out of it for awhile, in fact." Duo smiled. "I know I said that stuff about being challenged and maybe I gave you the wrong idea...? I think it's so kewl you're into this training yourself thing. I wish I could be more... involved. Even if I don't want to see the special logs and journals, that doesn't mean you can't have them around me. Don't you have any experiments that you need an assistant for?"
Heero was confused. "There are so many experiments. Your training. My training. Trial dates. General social experiments. I keep track of it in my mind and in files because I get very cold about some of it. I determined that that was part of the problem. I was acting out a script. You recall? When I am with you, Duo, I try to keep what I learned in mind but to just go on feelings. The other problem is, I do get nervous." Heero laughed, weakly. "I am human."
Duo tugged at the open edges of Heero's shirt. Heero did still have a tank beneath. Duo frowned. "Man, you know I have issues, but, why can't we just do it?"
"We do some things," Heero said defensively.
"You really do feel pressure to do things in a way that will please me, especially since you believe I am more experienced with sex, don't you?"
Heero shrugged, but his shrug meant yes.
"I know you, you're a total perfectionist, so much that you won't start something until you are convinced you have done research and made preparations and all that. I know you just want to crawl all over me sometimes... and you don't."
Heero shrugged. Usually he could talk about his feelings to Duo, but this was a sore point. Duo was right in his guesses of course, but Heero didn't like to think about it.
"I really hurt you that day when I said you didn't know how to be with anyone. You were trying very hard to please me, weren't you?"
Why did he have to bring it up again? Heero gave a hesitant nod.
Duo flopped back onto the bed. He did look naughty, in a good way. Heero thought that sometimes people looked sexier half dressed than all the way naked. Duo was wearing a shirt and stockings, yet, he didn't appear at all modest.
Heero wished he could be a better lover. Apparently training wasn't enough. He was too slow for Duo.
"You're doing it now, right?"
"What?" Heero whispered.
"Just then, you wanted me, but then you didn't do anything."
Heero nodded.
"I wanted you too. I still do."
"Why didn't you do anything?" Heero asked in defensive tone.
"I pressured you before and we both got hurt. I hesitated. Would you like it if I just... led you?"
Heero shook his head. He had thought about that on his own. He wanted to know he was able to do it.
"You want to lead?"
"I want to be able to lead you."
"What if I said there was something I wasn't sure about and that you would have to help me figure out how to do it?"
"I would not believe you."
"Well, do you have a secret file that lists the various sex acts or positions you haven't tried yet, but want to?"
"Yes," Heero admitted.
"Where is it?"
"On the mobile."
"Maybe you could get all your research material and supplies together and we could help each other with your homework? You would do the work, I would just be like a tutor or a study date. Whatever you want."
Heero sighed. He definitely had wants. He also had a need to please Duo. Duo seemed to want this.
"Please. We'll both figure it out together and we'll both be pleased. No pressure. Even if you think I've had experience, I haven't with you, so I do have to figure out how everything works with our bodies."
Heero sighed. "I think we are both seriously mentally ill. We can't even have sex or go on a date like normal people. I have to be analytical and perfect and subservient yet domineering and you..." Duo was smiling, "wear emotional camouflage and are jaded and horny and lazy!"
Duo laughed. "Lazy?"
"You are content to be in whatever position means I work to give you pleasure. If I go down on you, you get pleasure, if I was to fuck you, you'd get pleasure. You'd just lay still and be pleasured!"
Duo shook his head and laughed. "Right, Duo Maxwell is a dead fish. You seriously need sex and you seriously need to let go. I know there's all this baggage between us. It'll get worked out. But for now, we've agreed to just try. So, let go and try. Be a bad lay one night. Just get laid, ya know! I tried to do something for you, and you stopped me!"
"Well I am just responsible for a whole lot of things right now! I don't mind the training thing, I really don't, I wanted you to be my pet so badly... I just need! I need!"
Duo grasped Heero's shoulders and shouted at him. "You need to remember that healthy couples serve each other's needs equally!"
"Yes!" Heero agreed. He totally agreed with Duo.
"So, if you want to call me Prisoner, or Soldier or Pet, I don't give a shit, I trust you to serve as the one who commands me and to look out for me, but, Heero, you gotta start giving me real commands. You gotta let me look out for you!"
"Yes," Heero whispered.
"You did not save the world all on your own. You had backup. You don't want to be alone any more than me. If we help each other, we can... both be a lot happier."
"Yes! Duo! You understand now?"
"I understand that you're a better fuckin' lover or dom than you know, but it's time you really tested me. Give me some commands, Heero. Whatever you want to do, just tell me to do it. If I don't do it right, punish me. If I do it right, then we can get back to you giving me rewards. Christ! It's supposed to be fun no matter which position you're in. I take back what I said about the manual and all. I still don't really want it all spelled out, but I'd rather you had to tell me what to do to you than not be allowed to touch you at all."
"I want to do it six-nine."
"Yeah?"
"Well, I want to try at least."
"OK, why don't you tell me what your research says. Maybe I missed something you noticed. I'd like to hear what makes you want to try it."
Duo started removing Heero's clothing as Heero explained how interesting it was to him that the position was named after the Arabic numerals 6 and 9, which were each rotated 180 degrees from appearing just like the other digit, resembled a yin-yang pair as well, and that in this position two partners could pleasure each other orally at the same time; both at once penetrating and being penetrated.
Duo just said things like, "Mmm Hmm," and stripped Heero. He took his own shirt off as well, though he left the stockings.
"I am afraid there must be some flaw in the act, otherwise it seems so beautiful, one would think it would be done constantly. Perhaps it has to do with the reversed nature?"
Duo went to the dresser to look for some condoms. When he returned he said. "Well, I think I know why some people don't like it."
"Why?"
"It is sort of the reversal thing. You see, this way, it puts the upper teeth in proximity to that really sensitive side of your dick, right? And the weight of it in your mouth is sorta reversed, more down than up. If you aren't used to it you could cause some pain with your teeth, more than the other way 'round I think. Besides, there's that proximity of the nose to the balls, not a turn on for everyone."
"Oh. Should we wash?" Heero asked seriously.
Duo laughed. "Call Koi in here. Dogs sniff balls all the time. He could tell us how we rate."
Koi was behind Duo actually, resting on his cushion near the closet door. Heero had been training him not to join him on the bed unless called. Koi had heard his name and his ears were turned toward Duo. Heero smiled. "I told you, Duo, I am not into animals," Heero said in deadpan tone.
"I have an idea... I never tried it though, so it might be stupid."
"Perfume?"
"Yeah. Is that stupid?"
Heero shrugged. "I know that you are not stupid, and since we don't know if the idea is a good one, maybe we should try it."
"Do you have some?"
"I have essential oils. They should work."
"What kind?"
"Assorted. I purchased a set to use in the burner and to add to massage oils and bathwater. I usually think vanilla smells good to me, but that might be because it reminds me of you."
"It's my shampoo."
"Yes."
"Then vanilla for me and what scent should you wear?"
"Bergamot?"
"Bergamot?"
Heero shrugged, "In the shop it was more expensive than some others. Or Lavender? I don't know if it's sexy, but the aromatherapy book indicated that its scent should make one feel relaxed and clear-headed and creative."
"Sounds dangerous. I'll go for it."
Heero went to the shelves and got down the small vials of oil, the bottle of massage oil and the dropper. He explained to Duo how they would put a pool of the ordinary oil in the palm of one hand and then hold the vial in their fingers, leaving a hand free to operate the dropper with which they would take essential oil from the vial and release it into the massage oil to give it a scent.
"Why not buy a bottle of vanilla massage oil?"
"Rachael said that this way you got more quantity of a much better quality product with more variety and even buying the assortment package it averages out to a lower price per bottle of massage oil. Plus, you can scent baths or rooms with this stuff."
"Ah, you tried to make Rachael like you and just ended up spending a lot of money!"
"I spent the money after I did make her like me. I discovered the right word to throw at her: 'sensual.' If you just say 'sensual' a lot then she thinks you are OK."
Duo snickered.
"She gave me a good discount."
"You spent a lot at Tang's, though, didn't you?"
Heero shrugged. "Hn." He opened the vanilla oil and went about mixing the oils in the palm of his hand.
"I thought I got vanilla."
"You do, but I am going to put it on you."
"Oh."
Heero remembered. "You are very sensitive there. A lot more than I am, I think."
Duo gave a nod.
"I'll be careful."
"I know."
"Mix the oil. I'll get something to wipe our hands." Heero actually went to the drawer and got a few things before he returned to the bed. A moment later Duo scooted toward him.
"You're ready?" Duo asked.
Heero took a moment to admire Duo. "Yes," he said then. "That's your pile."
Duo looked at the items.
"I am reasonably sure it's only latex and petrol products that can't be mixed, so this should all be compatible, right? I just thought it best to have things ready if we did want them."
"I can finger you?" Duo asked, making equally crude gesture with his middle finger.
"I give you permission to, but you don't have to. But if you do, if the reach isn't awkward... could you just try one and then stop?" Heero felt fairly embarrassed to say it.
"Sure, if that is what you want."
Heero nodded. He was starting to feel sort of giddy and very aroused, just thinking about how entirely contrived and planned out this was. Yet at the same time, there were so many variables left up to each of them. He felt tremendous anticipation as well. "Are you ready?" Heero asked.
Duo smiled wide and gave a vigorous nod of his head.
"OK." Heero knew Duo was waiting for him to start. He looked Duo over, the way his legs were currently folded to one side and the way his balls were really very exposed when his penis was erect. Heero folded his legs to the opposite side and then reached slowly across the small space between them.
Heero cupped his left hand beneath Duo's balls and let the oil touch him. He lifted his eyes to gauge Duo's reaction and he heard Duo hiss as his eyes closed. Very sensitive. Heero had heard Duo make that particular hiss before. It seemed to communicate pleasure, wariness and will to maintain control all at once.
"Heero."
"All right?"
"Yeah..."
"Does this qualify as an erogenous zone, do you think?" Heero whispered.
"Damn!"
Heero wondered if he could put his mouth on Duo's balls. It was just skin. It was safe. Heero thought someone in a porn had done that, though he was now of the mind that porn movies were very false. They were having sex, but mostly they were acting the intense enjoyment of everything.
Heero moved his hand to Duo's thigh and rubbed the excess oil into his skin. Duo was ticklish there, so that might have been like an erogenous zone as well. He curled his spine and tipped his head just so and tasted oil and skin. Everything smelled of vanilla, strongly of vanilla.
"Oh, fuck me!"
Heero thought Duo only meant to use the words as exclamation, not a request. "Duo?"
"I wanna do you, but that feels so..."
"Good?"
"I think so."
Heero touched fingers to Duo's balls and then felt beneath them and pressed the flesh there. Duo was hissing again. Heero pressed his lips to the inside of Duo's thigh. "Didn't you do this before?"
"Maybe. I don't remember. It's usually more direct."
He meant that he sucked them off, fucked them and then went home to sleep in his own bed. Heero frowned before he lapped at Duo's balls with his tongue, catching a bit of dick with the tip of his tongue.
"Christ, don't. I want it so bad, don't you tempt me!"
Right. Getting into non-safe territory for several reasons. "How is this?" Heero asked, changing the subject as he reclined further. He was lying on his side then. Duo didn't say anything. Heero picked up the condom from his pile and opened the packet. Something soft touched his stomach.
Heero glanced Down. Duo was grinning back at him and the end of his braid was brushing Heero's skin. "It's nice," Heero admitted in a whisper.
"You thought it was impractical," Duo accused, mockingly.
"Hn." Heero tore his eyes from Duo's grin and winking eye to pay attention to fitting the condom on him. When that was done Heero tried to get comfortable and in position to reach Duo. Their difference in height could make this more or less enjoyable.
Heero used a hand to guide Duo's dick to his mouth, and then taking it into his mouth he moved even closer to Duo. He managed to keep his lower arm folded such that he could keep his left hand close to his mouth and stroke Duo's balls or his dick with his fingers while he sucked at him. It wasn't exceptionally comfortable, but already Duo was expressing appreciation, so Heero didn't mind the position. He wrapped his left arm around Duo and massaged the last bit of oil on his hand into Duo's buttocks.
Duo was slow about following Heero's example. For some time he was content to tease Heero with the soft tip of his braid. Heero just closed his eyes and blindly continued his own slow movements, eventually working a finger in, so that he penetrated Duo twice while being penetrated by him once.
That inequality did not last. In his own time Duo did follow example, penetrating Heero in every way that Heero penetrated him. They were like a loop, a chain of commands that was made to repeat over and over without clear beginning or end. Perfect and logical and circular.
Heero felt the experience was intense. He felt very close to Duo. It seemed easier to keep movements slow and so the whole of the experience was prolonged. Heero had a fleeting thought that in zero gravity this would seem an even better position. As it was Heero felt periodic discomfort, an ache of his jaw or of his arm, which was trapped beneath his body. Yet, the discomfort was so slight compared to the excruciating pleasure Heero felt.
And it was Duo. His Duo.
Epic probably would be the word for the orgasm, if it were described in an erotic novel. Of great duration, dramatic. Definite epic orgasm.
It happened again. Heero came, a split-second later Duo came, and Heero felt both orgasms.
His body seized. His mind crashed in a paradox of logic. How could he feel perfection twice over?
"Heero, don't leave." Duo was calling but Heero didn't seem to be able to respond. He knew Duo was calling. He knew so many things.
A slap across his face and Heero bolted upright, shouting wordlessly. Duo was kneeling on the bed, watching him.
"You gotta stop doing that," Duo said in a cold voice.
"Stop... what?" Wasn't a boyfriend supposed to make some small comment about how great the sex had been?
"Trying to die on me," Duo sighed. "You should see a doctor or something. Maybe it's a disorder."
"What? Did I stop breathing again?"
"Yeah." Duo lay down and turned his back.
Heero lay down at Duo's back and put his right hand to Duo's shoulder. "I was probably just unconscious for a moment or in an altered state. I would have started breathing again. It is fairly involuntary."
"Whatever."
"Something else happened. I felt your orgasm again."
Duo shrugged.
"You're welcome, I thought you were perfect too."
Duo whimpered and then turned. He raked Heero's hair with his fingers and then drew him by his hair until their lips met. Heero hadn't though his body could feel more relaxed or giddy or passion-singed, but Duo's kiss left him absolutely reeling.
"Heero, you scared me, again. What if it is a medical condition? What if you can't orgasm without falling unconscious?"
Still dizzy, Heero groped for Duo and finding the collar he still wore found his way to kissing him again. Duo was the one gasping then. "It's not physical," Heero stated, "It only happens when I am with you. It has to do with empathy. I will talk to Quatre. OK?"
"Khoroshó," Duo agreed. His fingers combed Heero's hair and his legs tangled with Heero's legs. "You just killed me, blew my mind, ya know?"
"Aa."
"But I saw you still and breathless. I felt like ice was stabbing into my heart. I didn't mean to be cold to you, I was just..."
Afraid to loose Heero. Afraid anyone he loved died. Afraid to wake up next to a cold dead body. "I know. It's OK."
Duo breathed a slow sigh and the warm air touched Heero's eyes and made him blink. "I just love you so much," Duo whispered.
Heero blinked once more and then stared at Duo's face, all close and out of focus. It seemed, he had already fallen asleep. Heero sighed himself and then tightened his hold on Duo. He realized then, ass he was drawn toward the warmth of Duo's body that there had been no negotiation or planning involved in their embracing each other as they went to sleep. It had just happened.
Heero closed his eyes and smiled to himself. It was a small thing, but Heero and Duo had naturally done something that lovers did without there being a guide or script or extended negotiation. There hadn't been a fight either.
Heero was proud of them. Right now, he would rather things between them were a little contrived than nonexistent. He might not have the courage to act without his research. But, eventually, Heero wanted this all the time. He just wanted to be with Duo and make him happy and not have to think about how.
They still had so much to work out, but, they also had sixteen more guaranteed dates. If on the first date ended with really good sex, Duo falling asleep subconsciously confessing love and Heero being able to do something without analyzing, then they were off to a decent start.
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