Both Sides
by kebzero
"This isn't making love, is it?"
Duo paused and gave a dark, muffled chuckle as he pulled his head back. Heero hissed through clenched teeth. "Nah, it's just sex, Heero," Duo answered, breaking out in a grin. "Some wouldn't even call it that..." Duo leaned in again, licked the underside of Heero's cock, from the nook by his balls right up to the tip, starting a low snicker as shudders went through Heero's body, his thighs trembling, a moan pushing its way out his throat.
Heero looked down at Duo, the braided pilot just as naked as he was - and just as erect. Thinking it was time, Heero made to scoot off the edge of his bed to join Duo on the floor.
Duo sensed what Heero was about to do, and placed his hands on Heero's hips, firmly keeping him seated. Swirling his tongue around the tip once more, grinning at Heero's low hiss, he let go. "Not this time, Heero."
Heero didn't quite understand. The last time, and the time before that, they'd done each other at the same time. "What do-"
"Look, I'll suck you off first, and then you do me." He grinned again. "Now, just close your eyes and imagine I'm the chick of your dreams, okay?" Before Heero could protest - had he wanted to - Duo returned to the task at hand. Or rather, mouth.
Heero only dimly registered the noise from the holomatrix. He couldn't care less about audio now; tactile things preoccupied his mind, only allowed for brief pauses for visuals, glances down at Duo giving him a blowjob. A damn good blowjob. He shuddered again, knowing the messy part was about to come.
***
Their current relationship, if you could call it that, had begun some weeks back. Heero and Duo had been, not for the first time, on a recon assignment, scoping out potential targets in a new area. OZ had been overly active there recently, and they'd come to figure out why, seeing as how the contacts J and the others could dig up were overly unreliable - or more correctly, not so fond of taking risks that they'd attempt to defy OZ' fairly tight security for the measly payment the scientists offered.
Working largely pro-bono and attending to his own salary, Heero knew how they felt. It was a good thing he'd learned how to hack into bank accounts. While not as glamorous as Robin Hood, the effect was vaguely similar.
At least the rich got poorer, if not that many poor got richer.
It hadn't been as easy as they'd predicted. While OZ had a tendency to leave convenient gaps in their security, the officer in charge this time was somewhat competent. Moreover, OZ had declared a curfew for the surrounding area, including the ramshackle town Heero and Duo had chosen as a base. The run-down motel room thus got to see them for much of the evening as well as the night.
They got fed up with it pretty fast, too.
Of course, they didn't stick to OZ' regulations - however, caution advised against both of them sneaking about at the same time, much less together. They'd worked out a solution of shifts, and only went outside when they figured it was worth the risk.
This particular evening, Duo had been the one to brave the darkness. There was no denying his standard apparel blended in a lot easier - as long as he could shove his braid underneath his jacket to keep it out of sight.
Heero had spent the evening surveying mission details on the laptop - something he'd started on right after Duo left. He'd then sat down at the edge of his bed, reached for the remote and flicked through the few free channels the low-grade holoprojector in the room had to offer. He glanced over at the small table between the beds. There were the remnants of their take-out dinner, some of it likely to linger long enough to join them at breakfast. He reached for his half-empty can of soda and took a swig of the flat beverage.
Sighing of boredom, he flicked through the channels again. In the end, he could find nothing worth the trouble of watching - and he didn't want to go to sleep until Duo was back. While the emergency communicator had been predictably silent all night, Heero wanted to be ready to scramble if the need arose.
He came across the 'pay per view' menu again. Considering it, he decided to browse the selection. It wasn't as if they couldn't pay their tab if he added a little extra to it.
There was remarkably little that triggered his interest amongst the movies offered. Most of the assortment was b-movies, obviously. Then there was the 'adult' section. Absentmindedly, Heero flicked through that list too, snorting at some of the tremendously bad puns for movie titles. In the end, he closed his eyes, pushed down the scroll button, and let go at random, chance making his choice for him.
Heero hoped 'Sperminator 5' had maintained enough merit to warrant a sixth movie. It would be just his luck to catch only the final - and thus by default, worst - movie of the series.
The fragments of a plot were utterly predictable. The women were busty and willing. The men were butch and horny. The rest was devoid of imagination and loaded with whimpers growing steadily louder. Despite finding the scenes completely fake, Heero couldn't deny that the dance of flesh in the holomatrix was getting to him, appealing to base instincts.
If nothing else, the porn flick was what he needed; a complete break from the mission details that still swirled across his retina when he closed his eyes. Ever so slowly, the slender brunette, for better or worse the heroine of the movie, started replacing dry facts and figures in his imagination with figures of her own.
He slowly rubbed the bulge in his pants, grunting as the couple in the matrix moaned again, their sounds as mechanical and rhythmic as their motions. Not that it mattered; Heero's imagination was willing to make it better.
He'd snapped out of his study of another close-up as the door clicked. To his embarrassment, he hadn't noticed the door as it clicked open, only when it closed. Duo had already seen what he was watching - and he was grinning like a maniac.
Heero refused to blush, forcing it back as best he could. He reached for the remote.
"Nah, leave it on - bet you paid good money for it, huh?"
He frowned at Duo, got rewarded with a chuckle. "Something new to report?"
Duo shook his head. "Nope. Same old story. I think they're preparing for some special delivery next week, though. They've been cleaning out the warehouses down near the old park."
Heero nodded. He'd suspected the same from logistics figures lifted from OZ' data nets.
Duo kicked off his boots and removed his jacket before sitting down at the edge of his own bed, grinning as the holoprojection cried out in fake ecstasy again. He snickered. "Damn, she's good. Your favorite actress?"
He responded with a grunt.
Duo chuckled back.
For a while, they didn't speak, merely watched as the heroine got abandoned by her first knight, returned to her sad life, only to be carried off on another white horse - and this time, the knight had a female page along for the ride.
The rest, as they say, is history - or porn.
Heero tilted his head, wondering if they'd actually bothered with special effects for the movie. That last arrangement of body parts didn't even look possible - much less comfortable, despite how the trio all voiced a different opinion.
There was no denying the movie was doing what it was meant to do, though - the tent in his pants was a testament to that. Heero made a quick glance down, frowned to himself and imagined cold showers in an effort to will his erection away.
Mission unsuccessful.
Another moan. It took him a few seconds to realize it didn't come from the direction of the holoprojector. From the corner of his eye, he peeked over at Duo.
Duo had laid halfway back on his bed, supporting himself on one elbow, his free hand rubbing his crotch, picking at the buttons, one after another, revealing his black boxer briefs. He studied the brunette's latest change of position, gritted his teeth and hissed. "Damn, she looks good..." he muttered, sitting up straight again. Duo glanced at the table, grabbed some of the leftover napkins.
Heero's jaw went lax as he saw Duo reach into his boxer briefs, fish out his cock and start jerking himself off.
A minute passed before Duo noticed how Heero's glance had turned to staring. He grinned. "What, aren't you getting horny? Sorry, pal, but there's no way I'm going to sleep with a boner. Best and fastest cure for it, right?" Not giving Heero a chance to answer, he glanced at Heero's crotch, nodded towards the table. "There's still some napkins left. Let's make it a quick workout and go to bed, okay?"
With that, Duo focused on the porn flick again, the pace of his hand increasing, the other clutching a napkin.
While uncomfortable with the unfolding events, Heero couldn't deny Duo's suggestion had merit. Yet, he was under the strict impression masturbation was not something one shared - not in words, not in view, and certainly not in action.
He looked at the brunette doing her best to ride her knight home. From the corner of his eye, he saw Duo pump himself to the same rhythm as on screen. He wasn't sure where the next drawn-out moan originated. His cock throbbed. Muttering a curse to himself, he grabbed a napkin and undid his pants, pushing them and his briefs to his knees.
Until the napkin was put to good - if unconventional - use, Heero's attention remained locked on the holoprojector. He never caught Duo's sporadic glances, nor his slight smirk.
***
The incident was soon enough forgotten; it was insignificant compared to their mission. It had merely been a convenient release - and sleep had come very easily afterwards.
The next day was significant only in its uneventfulness, and the day after that started out in much the same way. OZ didn't move fast. It was starting to show that they'd taken over the government; they were adopting the same, slow pace of progress.
Thus, Heero and Duo were caught with much too little to do once again. On the grocery run of the day, Heero had bought a portable chess board, alleviating idleness somewhat. Still, after a great number of even matches against Duo, and a fairly close win/loss ratio, the appeal of yet another game was next to zero. Heero didn't bother make the suggestion. The game had gotten them through to the evening, at the very least. If they wanted, they could go to bed early now - not that he suspected there'd be a reason for them to get up early again the day after.
Instead, Duo made a suggestion of his own. The braided pilot laid spread out on his bed, staring into the ceiling. "Heero?"
Heero packed away the tiny chess pieces and put the box aside. "Hm?"
"What do you say we watch another movie?"
Heero raised a brow, but didn't answer right away. A quick glance over at Duo, taking note of the smirk and the quick wink of brows. Heero rolled his eyes. It was much too obvious what sort of movie Duo had in mind. He sighed, shrugged. It wasn't as if he had anything better to do.
He tossed the remote control over to Duo, crossed his arms to pull off his tank top. The napkins had done their job the day before, but it'd been a close call for stains. Heero didn't want to take chances; they hadn't brought an extensive wardrobe - as always when away from designated safehouses, they traveled light.
Duo had caught the remote, only to almost drop it again. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and started flipping through their selection, in the end deciding on the same random roll of choice as Heero had done two days before.
Heero took some of the napkins left over from that day's take-out dinner, handed Duo half of them and unfastened his pants, smirking at the holomatrix. 'Horny Housewives' was today's entertainment, apparently. "Ten to one there's a mailman in it," he dared Duo.
Duo chuckled as he worked to remove his T-shirt. "What, not a milkman?"
Heero was about to answer, but stopped as Duo's T-shirt went over his head, Duo's last comment repeating in his mind. He smirked, huffed. "Probably both," he finally ventured, the throbbing soundtrack of the movie commencing. He pulled his pants down, but kept his briefs on for now.
For once, Duo was the more efficient one of the pair, removing pants and underwear in one quick go to sit stark naked at the edge of his bed.
It turned out there was both a mailman and a milkman - but far more important were the young, appealing and quite promiscuous wives of suburbia.
Base body reactions didn't take long. Heero had removed his cotton briefs then, starting a slow rhythm. He wasn't in a hurry; the movie would surely last longer than him if he rushed it.
"Uh... Heero?"
Heero gave Duo a look. The unease of being naked, much less erect, in the same room as another guy - as Duo - from two days ago had almost faded away completely. He couldn't help his eyes drifting up and down Duo's entire body, though; the novelty of nudity lingered. "Yeah?"
"I was thinking..." Duo began, slowly thumbing his head. "Want to 'shake hands'?"
"Huh?"
Duo flashed him half a grin. "Make it a mutual hand job."
Heero froze for a moment, then let go of his cock and leaned back on his bed, supporting himself with both arms. "Duo, if this is your idea of a joke-"
Duo shook his head. "No joke. Look, Heero - pulling your own knob is only so much fun, right? It just doesn't feel as good when you know it's your own hand at the stick."
"...and you're saying you jerking me off would make it better than if I did it myself?"
Duo's grin turned decidedly impish. "I'm not gonna hurt you, if that's what you're thinking. I mean, you'll be keeping something that's very precious to me in your tight hand at the same time...."
Heero snorted, gave Duo another visual once-over, then turned around to grab his spare pillow, tossing it on the floor before the holoprojector. "Fine, let's try."
"Alright!" Duo reached for the towel he'd used after a shower earlier that day, quickly folded it into a makeshift mat and sat down next to Heero's pillow.
Heero hesitated before sitting down. The soft whimpers from the holomatrix were distracting. He gave Duo a nervous glance.
"Ready?"
Heero wasn't sure, but he nodded, letting Duo go first. Duo scooted closer, their hips and thighs almost touching. His fingers reached out, tentatively took a hold of Heero's erection, made a slow pump. Heero closed his eyes and hissed, the soundtrack and sound effects adding to the visuals of his mind's eye.
Soft chuckles brought him back. "Your turn."
Heero opened his eyes, blinked, realized. He nodded. Not for the first time, he was glad he was ambidextrous - at least when it came to these matters. His left hand fumbled its way into Duo's lap, his crotch, fingertips brushing coarse, dark curls before trailing along Duo's shaft. Faking casualness, Heero closed his hand around Duo's cock, felt it twitch in his weak grasp, felt Duo's hand work his own hard-on.
Heero had never thought he'd ever touch another man's cock, much less erection. He'd never considered medical professions. Even so, he soon enough felt glad he'd gone along with Duo's suggestion. The testament to that splashed against his belly and spilled over Duo's fingers. It didn't take long for his handiwork to please Duo as well.
Once again, the leftover napkins came to good use.
***
The next day, they'd been equally bored after the morning recon fast becoming standard. As they met up at the motel room, Duo had suggested they go back to their current safehouse and wait out OZ' passiveness there, but Heero had known he was only joking. Neither of them was about to abandon the task at hand.
The same went for later that evening, as boredom coaxed them into another late night movie session.
The day after that at last saw some action. OZ delivery trucks started arriving. Unfortunately, upon a more careful investigation, Heero and Duo discovered there was nothing sexy about the drop-off. No mobile suit parts, no weapons, no VIPs or POWs - only stale supplies, emergency rations, dried food and bottled water. They had both groaned, their hope of uncovering the reason for OZ' actions in these parts crushed.
Towards the afternoon, the trucks stopped coming - and only one of many warehouses were stocked up. The added security around the empty ones suggested the important cargo had yet to show up.
Once more, they found themselves trapped in their hotel room with nothing to do.
At one point, they'd both laid back on their beds to count the squares in the ceiling. "Thirty-six," Heero concluded.
Duo shook his head. "No, forty."
Heero flash-frowned, re-counted, then tilted his head. "There are only thirty-six squares. Where do you get the last four?"
Duo pointed to the far side of the room. "The half squares over there. Eight halves makes another four."
Heero ground his head back into his pillow, groaned as Duo chuckled, then sighed. "Bored..."
"I know..."
Pause.
Heero gave Duo a glance. "Put on another movie?"
Duo snorted. "I suppose..."
Scooting up on his elbows, Heero looked at Duo. "Not in the mood tonight?"
He made a wry grin. "When it comes to that, I'm like the boy scouts - always prepared." He quick winked his brows. "At least if I'm given a slight rest period between exertions."
Heero gave a soft grunt.
"It's not that I don't appreciate the offer, Heero. It's just... Well, I don't feel it's enough anymore, you know? Sure, it's nice getting off in somebody else's hand, but the cock in my palm kinda ruins my fantasy."
He shrugged. "If that's all that's bothering you, we could take turns."
Duo glanced at him, then looked up in the ceiling again. "I suppose - but what I'm getting at is..." He clenched his teeth. "See, getting a hand job isn't exactly my favorite sex fantasy."
At that, Hero snorted.
"So... I was thinking..." Duo rolled over on his side. "I'll suck you off if you suck me off."
He raised his brows.
"I'm serious."
Heero remained silent.
"Look, I don't have any diseases, okay? I'm sure your doc is just as anal-retentive about health and body maintenance as old man pestilence is. You went back for a full check-up last month, didn't you?"
Heero nodded. Granted, he wasn't sure if tests for STDs were in J's assortment - but the man left as little as possible to chance. That aside, Heero had never exposed himself to those sorts of ailments - not in the commonplace, direct one, at least. This was not intentional, only circumstantial. Life on the run limited your options.
In the end, Heero had agreed to Duo's little experiment. The idea of another man's cock in his hand had been fairly easy to overcome. Now, however, there was a new challenge.
They'd put on another porn movie, for background sound more than anything else. They'd stripped, spread out some spare blankets and laid down on the floor. Sensing Heero's reluctance, Duo had gone first, working Heero's cock with his hand until it turned erect, then tentatively taken the crown into his mouth, touching his tongue to the tip.
Heero had hissed, rocked his hips on reflex, pushing himself deeper into Duo's mouth. Fortunately, Duo had coped with it, then placed a hand on Heero's hip to stall repetitions.
Heero had closed his eyes for a while, the brunette from several nights prior lingering in his memory. He'd snapped out of it when he'd heard Duo shift his body, felt the hand at his hip slip around to the small of his back, coaxing him to roll over on his side. Heero had followed willingly, and ended up with his face level with Duo's crotch as Duo's erection made another twitch, head thumping against Heero's nose.
Heero's hesitated again. Duo's tongue flickered against the head of his cock, mouth going for another bob. Heero hissed through clenched teeth, saw Duo scoot his hip an inch closer.
At last, Heero licked his lips and gave into his curiosity.
The sounds Duo made soon after, the moans that sailed straight past his own cock, made it all the more worth it. In lucid moments, Heero tried to copy Duo's playful tongue - and to the best of his judgement, he did it right.
Later, he wished he'd asked Duo what to do at the finale - not that he'd been unable to stomach Duo's taste and most of the volume.
***
They'd gone sixty-nine the following night as well, both seeking release from their dull mission. Then, OZ finally moved in their 'important' cargo - which turned out to be nothing more than a considerable stockpile of mobile suit spare parts, fuel and ammunition. It was no secret OZ was planning a new campaign in the area - but it seemed that whomever was in charge this time wanted to keep the supply lines under tight protection.
Not that this would stop two frustrated young pilots from blowing the warehouses to kingdom come a week later.
Heero and Duo were about to pack up and leave when they joked about catching another flick before they left - a joke that quickly became manifest. They'd shed their clothes in a hurry, and Duo had gone down on Heero before they'd both reached the floor.
It had taken Heero by surprise that Duo wanted them to go sequentially rather than simultaneously - but he had no objections, only a question from the far back of his mind he voiced - and got answered, along with a suggestion for what to focus his fantasies on.
However, Heero found himself unable to do as Duo had told him.
The brunette was fast losing her appeal in favor of a young man sharing her shade of hair color.
Once his body calmed down again, Heero had been able to do good on his agreement with Duo, using his lips, cheeks and tongue to the best of his ability - and by the sounds of it, as well as Duo's fingers digging into his hair, he was doing it right.
He kept glancing up, turned on by noting the spill he'd made against Duo's cheek earlier - a part Duo had missed during a hurried clean-up. Duo's eyes remained closed for the most part, however - except the few times he paid half his attention to the action on the holomatrix. At those times, Heero doubled his efforts.
Success shot into his mouth soon after, and a barely restrained non-verbal cry rung in his ears along with it.
***
They had packed up and returned to the safehouse; a small mansion Quatre's extensive resources had procured. Whether it belonged to the Winner family's holdings or was rented for the occasion didn't matter. What did was that the big house represented a nice, luxurious break between missions.
All five of them had a barely secret and plenty absurd hope that OZ would maintain their main operations in this particular theater of combat for a long time.
The day before they headed out to destroy a certain set of OZ warehouses Duo had approached Heero again, asking for another exchange of favors. Heero hadn't been hard to convince. This time, Heero had gone first, finding himself eager to please, if for no other reason that the sooner he got Duo off, the sooner Duo's mouth would work him into ecstasy.
When Duo had first propositioned blowjobs, Heero had not understood what the thrill of sucking on a reproductive organ could be - no matter which end you were at. For that matter, when Duo suggested their mutual masturbation, Heero hadn't quite seen how it could be better than doing yourself. It wasn't as if he hadn't jerked off before - he enjoyed the result, if not the resulting mess.
Still, as Duo had mentioned to him once, reasonably controlled masturbation was better than just ignoring the craving and blowing your load in your sleep during a wet dream. Heero certainly felt that was a valid argument for their exchange of services; he'd woken up with sticky sheets and underwear one time too many. He had never forgotten J's grin the first time he told of it, nor the quick birds and bees talk later that day. J was usually a good teacher, but on certain topics, he failed completely. Luckily, Heero had always had a knack for doing his own research. Perhaps he ended up knowing too much.
Over the following weeks, they were fast developing a fuckbuddy relationship - or more aptly, suckbuddy. They remained discrete relative to their friends - something that was made a lot easier by the fact they were hardly ever all at the safehouse at the same time, and the safehouse was more than big enough for two people to hide away from three others, if need be. There is a good reason why doors have locks.
Heero wasn't sure this was all he wanted anymore, though. Granted, he had lost all qualms about giving Duo blowjobs - and he certainly didn't mind Duo's mouth working his own cock to completion in return. He found he enjoyed Duo's salty taste, his strong scent, his soft groans of pleasure - but he never said so. Heero had swiped his tongue along Duo's inner thighs and across his stomach on occasion, usually right after Duo had shot his load, his body shivering in aftermath, his mind sufficiently distracted. Heero hadn't dared do much more, worried about Duo's reaction.
What they had was only sex, after all, it was not love making. This was part of Heero's frustration. Their tit-for-tat treaty had become more than lust to him, more than an itch to scratch, a release to be found. Sex was good, but for all their fondling of private parts, there was almost no true intimacy. It was all an eye for an eye, a blowjob for a blowjob.
In that respect, they had not yet had 'serious' sex. Heero certainly knew about anal intercourse, but he hadn't proposed that idea to Duo. For all he knew, Duo was still imagining one of the horny housewives sucking him off.
Heero didn't have to imagine at all.
Certainly, Duo didn't object putting Heero's cock in his mouth - something which gave Heero proper reason to believe Duo's preferences in bed partners was within parameters he could fulfill. Then again, could not a straight boy with severely limited options in sexual partners allow for stretching his ground rules just a bit, just enough to have another boy give him blowjobs while he thought of the girl of his wet dreams?
At the risk of losing whatever it was they had, Heero wanted to know for sure - wanted to know Duo's opinion. While Duo was away on another errand of Professor G's, Heero reached the conclusion he'd simply ask. No doubt, Duo's trip involved carving OZ mobile suits to shreds, or assassinations, or information retrieval, or something equally ultimately destructive.
At least Duo looked the part when he came back; skin flushed with a slight sheen of sweat, his clothes all rumpled up, the hair of his braid struggling free. The mad grin and the still shivering pupils of his eyes only furthered the image. It was all too clear that the boy was still high on an adrenaline rush. The hangar they hid the Gundams in was not far enough away to loose that on the run home; Heero knew that much from experience.
From that same experience, he suspected what Duo would ask of him.
He planned to pre-empt that.
Duo let go a small whoop, wrestled off his jacket and tossed it on the couch. "Hell, you should have seen that - Heero, think Deathscythe could power a double scythe? I've just mastered the art of Gundam baton spins! You should have seen me with those OZ Leos!"
With half a smirk, he grunted. He already had, many times. It was an impressive sight - but not as impressive as the pilot naked.
He made a mental headshake, trying to clear the image from his head.
Duo working his way out of his T-shirt, stumbling towards the bathroom, presumably for a shower, didn't help that.
Almost in the hallway already, Duo paused, looked over his shoulder. "Uh, Heero - I was wondering if..." He glanced out in the hallway. "Are any of the other guys home?"
Heero momentarily closed his eyes, sighed. "...Duo?"
Duo tossed the T-shirt over his shoulder. "Yeah?"
Heero put aside the book he'd been reading, brought a leg up in the plush chair, hugging his knee. "What are we?"
Duo blinked, leaned casually against the wall. "Huh?"
"What are we?"
Duo sent a puff of air up into his wayward bangs, squinted briefly in thought. "Uh... we're friends, aren't we?"
Heero nodded slowly and took to studying the floor at Duo's feet, his bare chest proving too distracting. He couldn't quite shake the disappointment in his voice. "Friends... Not lovers, or boyfriends..." Even with only feet, ankles and shins in view, Heero could see Duo tense up. He looked up, giving the braided pilot a stern glance.
Duo grinned sheepishly, scratched the back of his head with his free arm, unraveling his braid even further. "Uh - well, then we'd have to be-"
"Gay?" Heero finished, letting go of his leg. "Or at least bisexual?" He sighed, shook his head. "Duo, we've been sucking each other's dicks."
Duo was definitely becoming uncomfortable now, and strove to find a way to change the topic - if only to cover what he wanted, with what he wanted - that preferably being Heero's mouth. "Uh - Yeah, I know - and I was kinda hoping-"
Again, Heero interrupted. "I swallow - did you ever notice that?"
Duo froze up again, the grin lost in bafflement, much like the T-shirt slipped off and fell to the floor. "Uh... can't say I did."
Heero's look remained trained at Duo's face, taking in every reaction he provoked. "I suck you like an infant sucks a tit, and I don't stop until I've licked your cock clean. You never noticed that either, did you?"
Pushing away from the wall, Duo shifted from one foot to the other, looked away. He was ashamed to admit he hadn't - but then again, he'd been rather preoccupied at those times, being on the receiving end of the blowjob, and in some cases busy returning the favor at the same time.
"We've never kissed, not once..." Heero's voice trailed off.
Silence filled the next few moments, as did tension, both of them aware the other had more to say. Duo started, with a quick sigh, a firm look at Heero, he said "Look, Heero, I-"
And got cut off. "I've realized something. I want you, Duo. Not just as some sort of fuckbuddy. I want it all - best friend with benefits, boyfriend, lover-" He swept his hand in the air. "Whatever you want to call it."
Duo opened his mouth to reply.
Heero stood up, not intending to give him the chance. "Do you know how many times recently I've thought about stripping you down with my teeth and give your entire body a tongue bath? How many times I've wanted to wrap my arms around you from the back, caressing your stomach while suckling on your earlobe, trying to lure a moan out of your throat? How often I've craved tossing you on a bed, straddling your waist and pushing myself down on you, so I could ride you like mad until the bed underneath us made more noise than we did?"
Duo's jaw slackened, closed.
Heero took a step closer. "How badly I've wanted to help you wash and braid your hair, run my fingers through those thick, long strands of yours, push my nose against the wet hair and smell your shampoo? How desperately I've desired to get you on your hands and knees and fuck you as hard as I could, right up until you cried out my name?"
Heero hadn't missed the subtle shifts in Duo's expressions, most lingering within mild shock and surprise. Even now, words seem caught up in his throat, Duo unable to voice them.
Heero walked closer, just a few feet away now, still approaching. "...but most of all," he began in a low, relaxed, almost timid voice, "I've wanted..." Another half a step, leaning in. "...to do..." Heero tilted his head, briefly met Duo's eyes one more time, quickly verified his aim, and closed further. "...this..." Eyes closed, lips touched, softly at first, almost parting before pressed together again. It was only the first in a small series of such faint assaults, Heero kneading his mouth against Duo's repeatedly. He met no resistance. In fact, he was not met at all.
Disappointed, he at last relented, but still opted to flick the tip of his tongue against Duo's upper lip on the retreat.
He didn't go far, his face lingering but a breath away from Duo's. Heero studied Duo's eyes, saw the mild bafflement there, waited for a response, any response at all. He swallowed, suddenly afraid he'd ruined what little they had by this stunt. If Duo didn't share any of his desires, would he even want to resume their old arrangement?
Duo's answer was swift, unexpected. Rough hands grabbed Heero's shoulders, pushed him up against the wall, his breath almost knocked out of him by the sudden move. This was it, then. Heero was about to apologize, do what he can to salvage their friendship, at least. Unable to face Duo, he'd turned his head away, half-expecting a punch - not that he didn't deserve one. He'd kissed Duo unwanted, and-
Thumb and forefinger caught a hold of his jaw, coaxed him back with force, but not to the point of pain. Lips crushed against his, pushed his head back against the wall. His mouth had opened in surprise, and their tongues touched. Heero felt Duo's hands slide down his sides, around his waist, over his butt and thighs, making for a grip. Duo ground his crotch against Heero, eliciting a moan. Heero's feet left the floor, and supported by his back to the wall and Duo's hold of his thighs, he wrapped his legs around Duo's waist, his fingers clawing at Duo's bare back-
-and just as suddenly, he was let go, almost falling to the floor in the process. Sagging against the wall, Heero controlled his fall, his legs unable to keep him standing, his body doing what it could to remember how to breathe.
Still stunned, he licked his lips, looked up at Duo, his facial expression asking most of his questions for him. Heero started to smile as Duo grimaced, muttered "...fuck," and rushed off down the corridor.
Heero wanted to call out to him, tell him to wait, tell him they had to talk more, but found himself unable to. He heard the bathroom door slam shut. Heero shook his head, stared into the floor. He wanted to follow, but couldn't. He could barely even feel his legs anymore, wasn't sure if he could stand, much less walk for a while.
But, he definitely felt his raging hard-on... ...and he couldn't shake the lingering sensation of Duo's tongue swiping the back of his teeth.
He glanced over at Duo's abandoned T-shirt, leaned over enough to reach it. The cotton was still damp, still warm. He curled the fabric with his hands, stared at it for a moment. On impulse, he put it to his face and drew a deep breath, inhaling Duo's scent; sweat, musk, the deodorant that had failed its designated task, even traces of Duo's shampoo - not that Heero could identify the flowers used.
All in all, the combined fragrance was too much to withstand for long. He opted to hug the T-shirt close instead, sat there in a moment of self-pity before feeling stupid for it.
He'd blown it - and not in the usual, good way.
Slowly, he got to his feet again, tested his strength and started walking. He frowned at the T-shirt in his hand, quickly decided to toss it into the laundry hamper where it belonged. At least he wouldn't see it again until after it was cleaned - he'd had laundry duty the day before.
There was one complication, though - one he didn't realize until he reached the bathroom door - which was unfortunately where the hamper was located. Duo was in there, he knew that. His hand lingered on the handle, tested it. The door was unlocked, and slid ajar on its own. The sound of running water made him hesitate.
Quick in, quick out was his plan. No need to notify Duo of his presence. Hurriedly, Heero slipped inside, intent on discarding the T-shirt and leaving right away.
Warm mist hit his face and made it harder to breathe. The first thing he saw was the rest of Duo's clothes, unceremoniously dropped in a pile on the floor in the middle of the room. He made to toss the T-shirt atop of them, simultaneously raised his gaze enough to notice the fogged-up glass panes of the shower stall, the contours of Duo's back obscured in the haze of steam beyond, apparently leaning in under the spray, one hand against the wall for support, the other keeping busy.
Even veiled in steam, it was obvious what Duo was doing. He certainly wasn't lathering up - or rather, perhaps he was, only in just one place, doing it over and over again.
The deep, ragged moan took all doubts away.
Heero felt himself grow hard instantly at the sound, and for the second time that day he nearly came in his pants. Before Duo became aware of his presence, he decided to flee, barely remembering to close the door on his way out, still struggling to breathe once out in the chilled hallway.
He was very thankful they were in one of Quatre's safehouse choices at the moment. The small mansion was spacious enough to have a second, smaller bathroom downstairs - and he really craved a cold shower, and water to wash evidence away with. He only made a brief stop at his room, picking up the one other thing he definitely needed right now - namely, clean underwear.
***
The two deliberately avoided each other for the next few days. They were unintentionally helped by their mentors, given that Heero was called away for a mission right after. By the time he got back, Duo had been summoned for duty and had gone away - though he'd left Deathscythe behind. Not a mission of mass destruction this time, Heero surmised.
As Duo's expected return came closer, Heero found himself in the hangar more and more often, close to camping out in Wing's cockpit, all under the cover of doing complex and drawn-out tune-ups.
It lasted him a total of three days. By then, the taste of the coffee from the five-minutes-from-broken coffee maker was really starting to get to him. Ultimately, it wasn't that which uprooted his self-imposed hermitage, though.
Heero had been busy calibrating the hydraulics of Wing's right leg when Trowa had come by to tend to Heavyarms - in all probability, to make sure the suit was re-armed. Heero was wise enough not to mention Heavyarms' major weak spot in front of its pilot; while Trowa - unlike the rest of them - refrained from considering his machine more than a thing, he was as quick to defend his suit as any of them.
Trowa stopped on his way past Wing, leaned in against the Gundam's leg, right next to the open panel Heero was working halfway inside. "Heero?"
Mildly startled, Heero bonked his head against the top edge as he straightened up. He growled, rubbed the site of impact with his wrist, grease stains occupying his fingers. He hastened to fasten the hydraulic pump he'd been tinkering with and reached for an oil rag. "What do you want?" he snapped.
Trowa had frowned, balled his fist, then slowly relaxed again. "Heero, get your ass back to the safehouse, okay?"
Heero blinked, paused his hands. He wasn't used to Trowa talking quite that commanding. With authority, sure - but always as sound advice, not flat-out orders. "Huh?"
"Duo's been driving us crazy ever since he got back two days ago," Trowa continued. "He hardly speaks, he just sits around moping. Quatre mentioned it probably had something to do with you." Anger faded now, Trowa tilted his head, gave Heero a questioning look. "Is something going on between you guys? Did you have a fight, or something?"
Heero clenched his teeth, frowning mildly, but didn't answer. Trowa didn't know of his and Duo's arrangement. At least, Heero presumed as much, given how Trowa had been away on an infiltration mission for weeks, only to return yesterday. Wufei either didn't know, or pretended he didn't. Quatre... Quatre knew.
The Sandrock pilot had walked in on Heero and Duo one time, just as they were cleaning up the mess. There was enough showing - both of them and the mess - to accurately guess what they'd been up to. Quatre had blushed nicely, but had promised discretion.
Heero didn't think the blond was that shocked by the scene - after all, he was pretty sure the so-called innocent little boy was playing 'hide the weenie' with the pilot before him on a regular basis.
For a brief moment, they had a staring contest. Finally, Heero tossed in the towel - or rather, oil rag - hurriedly fit the panel back in and attached it. "Fine, I'll go," he grumbled, trying to ignore Trowa's faint smile.
Perhaps Quatre's discretion wasn't entirely trustworthy, after all.
***
Heero found Duo sitting in the kitchen, cradling a coffee mug with both hands. The contents of the mug looked anything but warm - much like the boy holding the mug and staring into it. Heero lingered in the doorway just long enough for Duo to acknowledge him with a glance before resuming his study of his beverage.
Heero poured himself a glass of water, sat down at the table end chair on Duo's left and cradled his glass to match Duo.
Moments passed. When Heero took a sip of his water, he noticed Duo make a faint smirk, soon enough faded away again.
"...you meant all those things you said, don't you? All the things you did?" He raised the cold coffee to his mouth, took a swig, grimaced and put the mug away.
"Yes," Heero simply replied. "Did you?"
Duo gave him a glance, a weary smile, folded his hands and looked into the table. "Yeah," he finally sighed. "Yeah, I did. I just - hell, I suppose I didn't want to admit it, you know? Admit I had the hots for another guy? That I enjoyed sucking on his-" He cut himself short, nibbled at his lower lip, shook his head. "Fuck, can't even say it, can I?"
Heero didn't answer, suspecting there was more.
He was right. Duo's fingers started fidgeting. "Heero... I was in a Catholic orphanage for a while, did I ever tell you that?"
Heero shook his head. Duo had never told him - not intentionally, at least. However, they'd shared bunkrooms and living quarters more than once in the past, if not this time. There had been times he'd heard Duo whisper, speak, if not cry out bits and pieces of what Heero reasoned belonged to his past, most of them sounding like fragments of a nightmare. Few of them sounded like they had a happy ending. Heero had never dared ask.
In part, that was because he had woken up with a cold sweat more than a few times himself. At those times, he'd seen Duo's bed sheets rustle subtly. No doubt, he'd screamed out at his past himself - but Duo had never brought it up, either. It was a small comfort to know they were not alone.
"Didn't stay there for more than little over a year - not of my own choice." He balled his fists. "They... they blew the place up. It was a friggin' church, damn it!" Duo slammed his fist to table, making the mug clatter.
Heero did his best not to flinch, waited for Duo to continue.
"It was called the Maxwell Church," Duo continued.
Heero nodded slowly. He'd heard of the incident, and after overhearing Duo's nightmares, he'd suspected there was a connection between the two. Perhaps Duo's name was as constructed as his own - if with a far more personal meaning.
"Father Maxwell and Sister Helen... They were the ones who took care of the others and me." He sighed. "They didn't make it, of course. Nobody did - except me. I wasn't there when - when-" Duo shook his head slowly. "Anyway... Yeah, I like you, Heero. I really do. All those things you mentioned..." He nibbled briefly at his lower lip. "I've thought about some of those, too. And dreamt." He gave Heero a quick glance, followed up with a crooked smile. "Good dreams." He looked back to the table, traced random patterns with his index finger. "It's just... I don't know what they'd think of me, if I turned out to be gay. Really gay." He looked at Heero again.
And was met with a weak frown. Heero reached out to catch Duo's roving hand. "You don't turn gay, Duo. You either are, or you aren't. It's genetic."
Duo made a wan smile. "Oh yeah? Well, I don't believe that - It can't be as clear-cut as that. There's got to be other factors involved, like how you were raised, or something." He chuckled softly. "I suppose I don't want to pin the blame for my preferences on my nameless parents." He turned his hand in Heero's, grasped it back, growing a grin. "If Father Maxwell could see us now... Hell, I'm sure he's rolling in his grave already." Duo sighed, still grinning. "It wouldn't be the first time I've made him do that."
Heero clasped Duo's hand, opting for silence.
Duo grimaced. "I really hate to think of what Sister Helen would say - when she wanted to, she could deliver a damn good scolding. Always made me feel so damn guilty..."
He made a lopsided smile. "Did you deserve it?"
Duo raised a brow at Heero, made a light chuckle. "Yeah, probably. I wasn't exactly a nice, well-behaved kid."
"Who would have thought?"
He squeezed Heero's hand, grinning. "Shut up..."
Heero stared at their joined hands for a moment. Duo's skin against his had rarely sent more soft, warm shivers through him. "Those people... were they Orthodox?"
Duo snorted. "As if Orthodox Catholics would ever set foot in space. You've heard the drill, haven't you? 'Man was made from Earth, and should stay where God put him,' and all that crap. No, Father Maxwell and Sister Helen were Neo-Catholics - they followed the Pope in São Paulo, not the seat in Rome."
Heero nodded at this information. He'd read about the schism in history books, but had never taken a personal interest in religion beyond a few carefully selected philosophical bits and common-sense guidelines. The rest was too fleeting, too wrapped up in myth and interpretations. "Then... don't you think they would accept you, no matter what you turned out-" He paused briefly and opted for a concession. "Or decided to be?"
Thinking it over, Duo shrugged, grimaced again. "I don't know... It's not like I can talk to them and find out, right?"
Slowly, he nodded. "Duo, I think-" He clutched Duo's hand. "I think they'd want you to be happy - and no matter how or where you found that happiness, I believe they'd still feel the same about you."
Duo grinned, returned Heero's grip. "Meaning, they'd still think I'm an obnoxious brat who steals when he has to, curses and disregards any sound advice they offer?"
Heero shook his head, smiling. "That they love you," he answered, and to shift the topic to one of more immediate importance, he added "...like I do."
Thankfully, that made whatever self-deprecatory remark Duo had prepared next choke in his throat. Duo's shoulders slouched together, and his face contorted briefly again. "Fuck, Heero..." Duo gave Heero a glance, met his smile with a wan match of his own. "Yeah, I think I love you too. Happy?"
The smile became a smirk. "Ecstatic." In the following silence, he smoothed his thumb across Duo's skin, while the smirk started wavering. "...Duo?"
"Yeah?"
Heero looked down at their hands, then met Duo's eyes. "You know I'm a guy, right?"
Duo's jaw dropped for a second. He burst out laughing. "Heero, I've had your dick in my mouth - yeah, I know you're a guy."
Smiling sheepishly, Heero shook his head. "That's not what I meant - I meant, when I was-" He paused briefly, looking away, stumbling on how to phrase it. He attempted to focus. "-did you ever..." As he failed, he started gritting his teeth.
Duo grinned, suspecting. "What, did I ever imagine you were some hot blonde chick, and that I was just licking a lollipop while she blew me away?"
Heero's cheeks started flushing, and he gave a slow nod.
Quickly, he sighed. "I could have..." He shook his head. "But I didn't." Duo leaned in, gave Heero's lips a brush of a kiss. "If I couldn't smell, then maybe..." He grinned. "Or if you doused your crotch in perfume before we shared and shared alike." Duo let go a chuckle. "Otherwise, I don't think the fantasy would last long."
"Oh..."
He tightened his grip. "But I wouldn't want that fantasy. I want to know I'm with you, Heero. I just... couldn't say it before, or admit it aloud. I'm sorry."
"Is that because you thought I was straight?"
Duo laughed. "Nah. The minute you agreed to blow me, I figured you weren't - or at least, that's when I stopped caring. Hate to tell you this, 'ro - but you're a natural."
Heero's brows tightened, but his lips curled in a faint smirk. "And you're without comparison," he replied in a deadpan voice, leaning closer.
Duo flagged a brow. "What, you mean you've got a basis for comparison in the first place? I never figured you for-"
Their foreheads nudged together. Heero rolled his face to a slight angle, their noses brushing. "That's the point, Duo. I don't."
He snorted. "Joke at my expense, huh?"
The corners of their lips grazed. "No. It's simply a truth I firmly believe in."
He let go a single chuckle. "Oh..."
Heero pulled back a bit, tilted his head, his lips first touching the tip of Duo's nose, the tip of his tongue drawing a line down to Duo's lips. They kissed again, a brush to a crush, tongues and teeth clashing.
Duo relented first, pulling back. Heero didn't follow, much as he wanted to. "...Heero?"
Heero's voice was as weak as Duo's, and he quickly cleared his throat. "Yeah?"
"I think... I accept."
Heero gave him a quizzical look. "Accept what?"
He smiled. "Being your boyfriend."
He restrained himself to a faint grin, barely tempered to that. "Are you sure?"
Duo shrugged. "At this point, why pretend otherwise? Besides, we've pretty much skipped a bit beyond the 'friends' stage." He had a thought, and let go of a groan. "...fuck, now everything will get so damn complicated..."
Heero made a mild frown. "What do you mean?"
Duo hesitated, pursed his lips. "Well, I mean... Now we've got to figure out who wears the pants in our relationship, and all that crap."
Heero started laughing out loud, unbridled by concern. It felt good - it hadn't felt so good to laugh in a long time. He stopped as he saw Duo's questioning, almost worried expression trained at him. Quickly, he leaned in for another feather kiss. "I think - I think I'd vote for what we've been doing already."
Duo straightened up in his chair, grinned. "What, just exchange blowjobs?"
Heero shook his head. "No, what you said earlier - Share, and share alike. Think you could be that flexible?"
Duo reached out, curled his fingers around Heero's neck, into the messy hair at the back of his head. "Playing both top and bottom, you mean?" He coaxed him closer, close enough for another fleeting kiss. "I suppose I wouldn't know that until I've tried, would I?"
Heero slowly nodded. "...so... You do me, and I do you, then?"
Duo did his best to pull Heero into a hug. Chairlegs screeched. Nuzzling against Heero's neck, Duo all but whispered "Eventually... but who goes first, huh?"
Heero smirked, broke free of the hug and stood up before he'd fall off his chair. He dug one hand into his pocket and fished out a coin, showing the coin to Duo, waiting until he saw Duo understand. "What's your pleasure, Duo? Heads or tails?"
Duo considered that for a moment, and burst out laughing. "I'll take both, please."
And Duo got his way.
As did Heero.
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