Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is the property of Sotsu Agency/Sunrise. No profits were made in writing this.

Pairing: 3+4+3
Rating: R
Warnings: Shounen Ai/genfic.

Part 6
by kebzero


Heero Yuy's Personal Log

Duo rolled his eyes when I told him about my curriculum. After that, I didn't want to ask if he knew how I could best enjoy my studies. He's never been much for theoretical education, anyway. Learning by doing seems to be his preferred method. That, or doing something different, like basketball.

I'm wondering whether I've made an error in pursuing knowledge rather than 'get a life', as they call it. The others have certainly achieved far more than I, in so many ways.

Quatre is a case all to his own. Though his position of CEO is close to hereditary, he certainly has proven that he's not simply wielding a silver spoon - he does know what he deals with. Of course, he has had the benefit of a "fairly normal childhood", as he put it himself yesterday. He wouldn't have to play catch-up with years being away from any school system. I don't know much about his social life, but I did see his face plastered on the cover of some glossy magazine with the tag line of 'Most Eligible Bachelors' two months ago, so I'm presuming he's doing well.

Wufei is climbing in the ranks of the Preventers at a staggering rate, especially considering he was one of their 'most wanted' - and not as in to hire - just six months ago. In one of her visits this spring, Relena said that Sally Po specifically asked to be partnered up with Wufei. When I told her Wufei would have been my choice too, she took an averse reaction to the tea I'd offered her. At first, I thought she had a different opinion of Wufei's skills as a soldier than I had, but after some clarifying exchanges, I then realized the emphasis she'd put on 'specifically' was supposed to carry a veiled meaning.

I still have trouble with how words can say more than what they mean.

Sally's interest should serve as a testament to Wufei's situation on the social scale of things - though Relena seems to have warmed up to him also, recently. It should not come as a surprise, as her office works tightly with the Preventers, and the need to keep each other up to date is crucial. She is the ministry's foremost liaison with the agency, and she is that by talking not only to Preventer leadership, but the men and women in the field as well. Relena is not the simple, silly girl I once mistook her to be.

I'd never thought it'd hurt that she'd pay me almost no attention.

Duo has hit the jackpot as far as normalcy goes. He has a successful business at L2, he lives and works with Hilde, and the two of them seem inseparable. I don't know Hilde that well, but I do know that Duo cares greatly for her. She does have spirit, and I believe she must have, to keep tabs with Duo. Quatre said it's a miracle the two hadn't killed each other, both being so headstrong, but the way they all laughed it off, made me draw the conclusion he was joking.

Trowa is perhaps the only one I dare draw comparisons with. Yet, he has secured a career with that small circus of his. I've no doubt that he will achieve great fame for his performances in the ring someday. When they toured the area near my college this spring, I went to see the show. For all his height, he can move with tremendous grace up there under the big-top.

However, for now, he's 'just' a normal employee, as normal as can be if you work at a circus - and he's alone.

I think that's why I prefer to use Trowa to compare with. Trowa is a flower that hasn't yet fully bloomed in terms of his career. Still, he has found the most stable family of all of us - all the people at their circus. He even has pets, after a fashion - and short of Duo with his goldfish tank, I don't think any of us can brag about that.

Unless you count the wild flamingos Quatre took us to see the other day. The concept of an oasis is staggeringly beautiful - a patch of flourishing green in the midst of a bone-dry desert, nothing for miles around other than heat and dust. His first moments on Earth were certainly better than my own.

And I guess that is what all this comes down to.

I'm jealous.

They're all successful, all happy. I still don't know what life has in store for me. Then again, I gave up on life a long time ago, and every new day comes as a surprise.

It is if that is pleasant or not I can't quite figure out.

-end file- Yuy, Heero

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