Disclaimer: See all the others; status unchanged.

Pairing: 2x1
Contents/Warnings: Yaoi, lemon, crossdressing, language

Nancy Boy
by kebzero

"I'll kill them, I swear."


"Don't start with me, Heero. Next time I see them, dead. After I've tortured them a bit first."

Sigh. "Duo..."

"See how they like it in high heels..." Duo muttered, still furious.

"It's not like you're alone in this, Duo. I'd rather not be here either, and-"

Glare. "Yeah, well - you're not the one wearing a fucking dress, damn it. And these damn high heel shoes. I swear, all I'm missing is a fucking tiara!"

Lopsided smirk, side facing away from Duo, low mutter. "That could be arranged..."

Smoothing out some of the folds of his pitch black dress, Duo afforded Heero a quick glance. "What's that?"

Soft smile, other side. "Nothing..."

Grunt. "Like hell, it was nothing..." He adjusted the short, puffy sleeves and the long, silver gray gloves, then tweaked the slightly-more-than-plain ring at his finger. "I'll let you off easy - I'm going to save my rage for the old geezers."

Heero poked a finger inside the collar of his shirt, tried to loosen the stranglehold the black tie had on him. He loathed dressing up like that - albeit, his situation was marginally better than that of his partner. "Duo, it's not so bad."

"Oh, yeah? At least you get to pose as a guy. Little, old me, I have to let my hair down and bat my fake eyelashes, pretending to be some dumb broad clinging to your arm. Can't you tell I'm thrilled?"

"It's for the mission," Heero reminded him. "I can understand you're not happy about this, but the scientists were right - this is probably the best way to slip in undetected and-"

"You have got to be kidding me! I'm gonna stand out like a freakin' beacon! Took me ages to learn how to balance on these things, and-"

Smirk. "Looking forward to the stairs?"

Glare. "Have a deathwish?" Growl. "Oh, I'm going to strangle old man pestilence. Did you see the guy when he told us the mission specifics?"

Nod, cautious smile. "Yes... Professor G was... less than composed."

Snort. "Barely able to speak trying not to laugh, that's what. God, I hate that bastard..."

"You know they were right, though. OZ and Romefeller are looking for five young men, not a young couple. They probably have a security check at the door at the very least, given the prominent guest list. We'll attract less attention this way."

Half a mad grin. "Wanna bet?" Grin fading, another sigh. "We should never have told them we've become lovers..." Quick, accusatory glance to Heero. "You should never have told them."

"As I've told you many times already - I thought it was relevant to mission performance. It was a variable they should know about, in case-"

Sneer. "I can see the message now - 'Dear Doctor J. Mission denied. Duo shagged me mercilessly last night, so I'm not up for it. Yuy out.'"

Heero frowned. "Look, let's just concentrate on the mission. We get passed security, try to blend in a bit to avoid suspicion. Then we sneak upstairs, download the information we need from the secure computer on the second floor and get out as fast as we can."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Pause. Duo studied his escort for the evening. Heero's suit was a decent fit, but- "Your tie is crooked."

"Oh yeah?" Heero looked down, began adjusting it.

Quick sigh. "No, let me." Duo took over, and quickly settled it for perfection, even straightened the pin out. "There, that's better."


Their rented limousine came around a corner. "We're almost there..." Groan. "Can't believe I'm doing this... Oh, the old farts are so dead..."

Heero tapped Duo's arm, then took Duo's hand in his own, holding on tight. "Do I have to remind you you're not alone in this?"

Snort. "I don't see you in a dress."

"No, but I stayed true to my promise."

Duo's eyes widened a tad at that. "Seriously? You mean-"

Half a smirk, quick, single wiggle of brows. "For later. You'll see."

Grin. "Damn right, I wanna see. Hell, I didn't think you'd actually do it..."

Short snicker. "Well, I couldn't let you suffer entirely alone, now could I? What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I didn't at least try to make you feel better?"

Duo smiled, first at Heero, then out the window, then back at Heero. He leant in for a quick kiss. "Damn you..."

Heero returned the smile. "Thanks... Now, activate the voice scrambler. I think your natural voice might blow your cover..."

Chuckle. "What, don't think the security guards have ever heard a chick with-"

The car slowed down. "Now, Duo. Turn it on."

Duo reached down under the white piece of cloth covering his fake cleavage, touched the knob and ironed out the folds he'd made. "Turned on," he informed Heero, waited for the disapproving frown - and promptly kissed him again.

"You'll ruin your make-up," Heero whispered, still smiling.

"Only trying to rub some of it off on you," Duo replied. "Wouldn't want anyone in there to think you were single." Heero was about to deliver an answer when the car stopped. It was time to make an entrance.

The driver - a contact of Howard's - opened the door to let the lady out, the gentleman following, taking her arm. They put on their best smiles in face of the paparazzi gathered at the stairs on both sides of the red carpet, waited the short minute it took those who cared to snap a picture of them. Not many did. After all, they were not recognizable celebrities. The couple made their way through the pack, up the red carpet.

On top of the stairs, nearing the reception, Duo leaned to whisper in Heero's ear. "I wish we could destroy those pictures..."

Lopsided smirk. "I think I'd like to save at least one..."

Best fake smile, careful not to grin. "If we weren't on a mission, I'd punch you." Sigh. "God, I hate the squeaky voice this thing gives me. Sounds like I've been breathing helium."

Light chuckle. "It's not quite that bad..."

They approached the entrance to the ballroom. Security agents approached them, made quick inspections of their IDs, matched their names and faces to the guest list, and promptly let them through. Professor G's friends had been thorough in creating fake identities for the two of them, albeit... "And I'm really going to kill them, Heero. Or at least give all of them a chance to appreciate J's artificial limbs and mechanical supports."

"Duo..." Heero whispered back - resigned, cautioning and threatening all at once. Chatter should be at a minimum now, they weren't that far from the guards. The herald at the entrance to the ballroom took note of them. They handed him their cards, and he promptly made a quick check of his list.

They stopped in the doorway, waiting. "Hey, they could have been a bit more subtle, is all I'm saying... Heck, even 'Duette' would have been better..."

"It's not so bad," Heero hissed back through clenched teeth in a smile, nodding to the herald.

The archaically dressed man stomped his rod in the floor once and announced their arrival in a booming voice. "Ladies and gentlemen, Richard Snugbum and Nancy Shagwell."

Duo struggled not to cringe visibly. He didn't know which was worse; the fact the old geezers had picked such horrible cover names, or that nobody in the entire ballroom seemed to notice, much less care.

Still, the latter was to their benefit. They made their way down the stairs. To his credit, Duo did not stumble - except for at one treacherous, slippery piece of marble halfway down. Clinging to Heero's arm avoided any scene.

"We should mingle," Heero said in a low voice. "We don't want to make a beeline for the second floor - have you seen the staircases?"

Barely perceptible nod to Heero, a rather elaborate one combined with a trained curtsey to a high-society lady taking a brief interest in them. "All three, just where the blueprints said they'd be. One blocked by the makeshift bar, another too close to security at the entrance. That leaves-"

"Exactly," Heero said, moving them away from the lady, closer to the remaining staircase, albeit not in a straight line. There was undoubtedly someone in the room looking for abnormalities - or at least someone behind the security cameras doing the same. Heero considered it reasonable, as he would have ensured for at least that level of surveillance, given all the brass and regalia on the guest list - but perhaps the local OZ and Romefeller affiliates were incredibly stupid.

Their target had stored invaluable data regarding OZ operations on a computer in this Romefeller country club - so their own intel informed them, at least. Unfortunately, the computer was not hooked up to an accessable network. It was simply locked away in a room their target disposed, courtesy of his membership, so physical access to it was required. A break-in would have been their last resort, had not the club chosen to stage a galla event this evening. It had been much easier to sneak in a few extra names on the guest list; the children of senior Romefeller members - unknown, but wealthy nobility. Brats in love, wanting to flaunt themselves at a public gathering.

Professor G had said something along those lines. Duo wasn't quite sure, it had been hard to make out the specifics between the old man's guffaws.

Sensing Duo's lack of initiative in the matter, Heero took it upon himself to engage in conversation with some of the other guests, introducing them to two other young couples hovering at the edge of the dance floor. As if three pairs were the crucial limit, they split seamlessly, Duo whisked away by the two women, soon enough attempting to stumble his way through topics he couldn't care less about. Designer fashion he knew nothing about, but made due as best he could. He caught one or two disapproving glances for his own attire, but didn't really care. The dress had seemed proper enough when they'd bought it. He'd even stitched in the white cloth to cover the low-neck cut - or rather, the fact his breasts, obviously fake, were not seamlessly attached to his body. Heero had joked it gave him a nun-like appearance. Duo had taken a swing at him for that, but missed deliberately.

Heero had thought himself so damn clever as he approached the saleswoman, claiming he wanted to buy a dress for his girlfriend. Duo had just played the part of reluctant tagalong friend, suddenly trapped in the conundrum of measurements. The saleswoman had asked for the size of Heero's girlfriend, and acting the typical male, Heero had simply shrugged, then stumbled his way through trying to explain, in the end giving Duo a glance, stating 'She is just about his build, really.'

Duo had not 'helped out' easily. That part, he didn't have to act much for. Still, they had gotten a dress; Heero was apparently boyfriend enough to know his fictive girlfriend's cup size. Duo had rolled his eyes at Heero's fairly smooth and somewhat believable lie; at least the man hadn't gone for a Double D while he was at it.

Duo had to modify the dress a bit, though. Other than adding the white piece covering his makeshift bosom, he padded the area around the hips and bought a flexible stomach belt so that he'd get a more proper figure for his disguise. The belt made him wonder how bad corsets would be - not that the experience with the elastic bond keeping his guts and waist tight in any way made him want to find out.

Heero had done the rest of the shopping alone, getting a pretty nice-looking black suit and a crisp, white shirt of fine cotton - as well as a small bundle of 'necessities'. He'd smirked when he'd handed it to Duo - and then fled in a hurry, not wanting to catch too much of the fallout.

If the guards had attempted a more thorough search, at least the panties would have bought him a bit more time. Little mister unhappy was precariously trapped between his legs to avoid an improper bulge in the dress - something Duo was reminded of with every step. More uncomfortable than painful, he still gritted his teeth, tried not to think of it too much.

The razor not meant for the face had been tricky enough to take, the make-up the final straw. Even so, after arguing quite a bit with Heero, and gaining some promises of being repaid for his quiet cooperation now, he had gone along with it, shaving off a considerable portion of his body hair - mostly limited to his extremities, though. Learning how to do make-up was a real pain, but he'd gotten it reasonably right in time, aided by his boyfriend. The high heeled shoes Heero had bought were even worse - but he'd managed, after a fashion.

Duo shifted from one foot to the other, seeking temporary reprieve for at least one of them. Fashion aside, the two young women cared a great deal for politics - at least the gossip aspects of it. Duo grudgingly tried to remain polite. They probably weren't quite as empty-headed as he thought them to be; he was merely being grouchy over his situation. Then again, it would probably be to his advantage if his companions weren't all that bright. It would really suck to be hauled off to an OZ penitentiary dressed like this.

He'd been greatly relieved when someone tapped his shoulder. That is, he was about to slap whoever it was in the face, wanting to lash out his anger over the last debate of what went best with honey gold; pure white or velvet blue. Catching a glimpse of Heero's face made him stop mid-swing.

"May I have this dance?"

Duo had given Heero a glare mirroring his death glare, but still smoothed the intended strike into an offer of his hand and formed a very fake smile. "I'd love to," he managed to say, only the slightest trace of sarcasm remaining. The rescue was definitely a mixed blessing, but somehow it felt better prancing like a newborn deer on the slippery dance floor than remain in the chicken coup jabbering with the little hens.

The music was blissfully mellow, and thus they could keep a slow pace. For the most part, Duo managed to act the part, and being in Heero's arms steadied him. His heels still ached, though. As the dance slowed to an end, he leaned in, his lips close to Heero's ear, yet sufficiently away to look inconspicuously tasteful.

"I need a drink..."

"We're on duty," Heero whispered back.

"Just a small one, then."

Caution and disappointment mixed in Heero's voice. "Duo..."

"Yes, mother..."

Soft snort. "Quit sulking."

"Fine," Duo snapped back.

The music died out, and a polite applause broke out. "Look, we're almost done here. I'm pretty sure we've fallen below the radar of the security team by now. A few more minutes, and we can probably sneak our way up the stairs." He released Duo, let their hands linger together. "One drink," he said, smirking slightly. "I'll wait for you there."

Duo struggled not to grin in a rather unladylike manner. They parted, and Duo made his way to the bar, careful not to rush. He was a dignified young lady, after all. This was not a barn dance or a keg party - no matter how Duo thought he could have fit in a lot better at either event, dress or no dress.

He stopped himself before he could make an order, though. It had suddenly struck him how his usual choices of beverages might not be proper given his act. Going for classy - and since it was free - he opted for one of the prepared glasses of champagne. That way, he even avoided contact with the bartender. Unlike the guests, staff might get interrogated in the aftermath, should they not cover their tracks well enough.

Duo didn't manage more than a cautious sip of the tall glass before he was interrupted, however. A slightly dishevelled man, from the looks of it a young noble still chronically single and equally inebriated, smiled crookedly at him, then down at where his hand touched Duo's elbow. "Hello, my dear," he said softly before letting go. "Are you here alone?"

No, my murderous boyfriend is right around here somewhere. Nah, probably not the best answer. Duo looked out into the ballroom. "My escort is around here, somewhere."

The man shirked back just a little, a mockery of a show of disbelief. "What, he left such a pretty flower as you all alone?"

Duo's polite smile was forced to extremes. Summoning all his acting talents, he faked a giggle and a dismissive hand wave, fought the urge to get intimate with the guy - Duo's knee to the man's crotch, lightning pace. It might rip his dress, after all.

The man flashed a smile close to a leer, released his hold on Duo's elbow and rifled his fingers through his dark blond hair, all too encouraged. "How can he possibly tear himself away from your beauty, much less your presence, my lovely?"

Oh, if there was any way of salvaging the mission after decking this guy, Duo would have gone for it. Alas, all he could do was endure. That, and finish his drink in a hurry. He took a hearty sip while feigning interest in the man's excessive flattery.

The man down half his own glass in sympathies. "I see... Not a gentleman, is he? What is your name, my sweet? No, wait - let me guess. Victoria?"

Duo shook his head, doing his best to keep the fake smile intact.

"No? Belle? Nicolette?"

Again, Duo shook his head.

The leer came back. "Guinevere, perhaps? Or Aphrodite?"

Duo rolled his eyes, but made it seem less resigned than it was. "My name is Nancy." God, he was going to murder Professor G next time they met. Or, on second thought, no. Death was too easy an escape. He was going to make the old geezers suffer.

"Ah, Nancy..." The man obviously meant to say it with adoration, but in Duo's ears, it only rang bitter. "I'm Dwayne Lebowski," the man said, attempting to straighten up a bit. "I'm the heir of the Trenhof estate."

As if I cared. And, boy, did you have evil parents. "Oh... how interesting."

"I would very much like to show it to you some day, Nancy... It would be my pleasure to-"

And well over my dead body. Duo put his glass down. Half a drink was good enough, if this was to be the price for it. "I'm really sorry, but I should go look for my escort." Sensing Dwayne's scowl, Duo hastily sought for a graceful, inconspicuous exit, one that still tossed Dwayne a bone. "He might worry if I stay away too long, you see. Perhaps I will meet you again later this evening, Mister Lebowski."

He brightened up at that, raised his glass to Duo. "Oh, call my Dwayne, by all means."

Like hell. Duo gave a slight nod to go with the polite smile, and did his best to lose himself in the crowd, stifling the urge to scream at the top of his lungs and go on a killing spree. The next mission had damn well better be demolition - big time destruction, not just a stray mobile suit or a small listening post.

To be sure Dwayne didn't pursue him, Duo made a broad half-circle within the crowd, carefully avoiding anything but quick, polite greetings. He had no time to chit-chat now, and even less desire to.

Given his detour to the bar, Duo had not expected to be the first to the staircase. His neck hairs gave a quick bristle as he scanned the room, looking for his partner. It was a mix of relief and dread he caught sight of Heero - over by the wall, wearing his best fake smile, chatting up the same two ladies he himself had had the displeasure of talking to earlier that evening.

With a quick shrug and a lopsided smile, he decided to rescue Heero as best he could - even if it meant risking being pulled into the conversation himself.

Torture can be a subtle and highly individual thing.

Duo propped up a smile and made his approach, not rushing the slightest. He'd seen the quick glance of pleading and desperation Heero had given him; he didn't mind extending his partner's suffering. Yet, he couldn't help but wonder why Heero had gotten himself into this mess in the first place.

"Hello again," Duo greeted the women, taking a weak hold of Heero's arm, soon enough sliding down to wrap his fingers around Heero's hand. "I hope Richard isn't bothering you two lovely ladies?"

Quick, angry glance from his left. Duo ignored it.

Light giggle. "Oh, not at all, Nancy. He's being so kind to provide us with some... unusual ideas."

No need to fake surprise, only shape it with the facade. "Oh?"

"Yes," nodded the other one. "Juliette and I were talking of how OZ had revolutionized all levels of politics, how their new governing structure would benefit society far more than that of the old Alliance."

Again the surprise, albeit this time he hid it. Duo guessed he had judged them a little harshly earlier.

"Richard interrupted us just as Ashley told me of how soon the colonies are expected to join us." She turned to face Heero. "To be quite frank, you don't seem to have all that much regard for OZ."

Heero shrugged. "OZ might do a fair job... but I have doubts of current leadership, particularly in the military branch of government."

Juliette's face fell a bit as she considered that. "But... isn't the entire current government military in nature?"

Predatory grin. "Exactly."

She huffed, but smiled to them both. "Like I said, interesting ideas, if not so common on our arena. I would very much like to hear your take on Romefeller, Richard."

Heero opened his mouth to answer that challenge. Duo squeezed his hand, hard. "I- I'm sorry, ladies - I'm afraid it will have to wait. I made a promise to Nancy that I intend to keep, and we are unfortunately running out of time."

Only too true. "Juliette, Ashley - please excuse us. I'm so sorry Richard intruded on your conversation." He turned to flash Heero a smile laced with mischief. "I need to start keeping you on a short leash, don't I?"

Ashley beamed. "Oh, but it was no bother. We-"

Barely registering she was talking, Duo pushed on. "Well, that's my big Dickie... always barging in on the unsuspecting, weaseling his way into things."

Heero started coughing, but soon enough got it under control, glaring at Duo. "We should go, Nancy..." he challenged.

Duo decided he'd had enough fun. It was time to get back on schedule. "Ladies - until later." Curtsey, soon copied. Heero gave a curt nod and moved away, keeping a very firm grip of Duo's hand, albeit not pulling it. They were safely beyond hearing range before he dared loosen the grip.

"Thanks..." he mumbled, fake smile still in place, looking ahead.

"You're welcome," Duo murmured back, nodding to another guest as they made their way towards the staircase. "Just what the hell happened back there, anyway?"

"Security guard started heading right for me. Decided to make myself less conspicuous, saw those two and joined their conversation."

Duo's mask of politeness almost fell. "Were you-"

"He wasn't coming for me - only crossing the room. Once I realized that, it was too late. I couldn't find a graceful exit."

Duo dared nudge his elbow to Heero's side. "As if you wanted to escape..." he muttered. "Bet you shocked them silly with your own unique take on politics."

Heero flashed a frown at first, then his face slid over to a slight smirk, seemingly aimed only at Duo. "Maybe... I couldn't say all that I'd have liked to, though."

Duo near grinned. They were almost through the crowd now, and it seemed safe enough. "Another great sacrifice for the mission."


"We can debate the issue when we get home, if you like..."

Smirk. "That wouldn't be fun... I've already won you over."

Snort. It wasn't as if anybody would notice. "As if. Just wait until tonight, He- I mean, Richard."

Another resigned grunt.

They reached the staircase.

"What took you so long in getting to my aid, anyway?"

Soft grin. "Uh... Sorry, got held up at the bar."

Judging look, if fleeting. "Right..."

Duo decided Heero didn't need to hear the rest of it. What he didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. What Heero didn't know, wouldn't hurt Dwayne either.

Maybe he'd tell Heero once they were out of here again.

They made quick sweeps of the room, trying to peg the few security personnel operating undercover. In this group, they stood out like sore thumbs. When they were fairly sure nobody was looking in their direction, they made their way up the stairs, not rushing in the slightest. There had been a velvet banner blocking the stairs, but Heero had quickly discarded of that, carefully lifting one of the metal loops off and tilting the hook, making it look like it had simply fallen off. While the second floor wasn't officially closed this evening, anyone leaving the party might stick out as suspicious to the security staff. They wanted to be careful and avoid unnecessary questions and complications. "Remember, if anybody asks, we were just looking for the bathroom."


Once at the top, they turned into one of the wide corridors. Doors were few, windows were nowhere to be seen. Evenly spaced chandeliers provided just sufficient light to make the many tapestries come to life in the dusk.

"I hate places like these," Duo mumbled.

Heero didn't bother retort. Instead, he compared the building blueprint he'd memorized with the doors at either side. "That one," he decided. "This is the target's private study." He grabbed the door handle and gave it a jiggle, just in case they were lucky.

As expected, they were not.

Half a smirk to his side-kick. "It's your show."

Reflection. "Great..."

Duo's next move left Heero's jaw just a bit slack. He had not expected Duo to tilt his head down and let a hand follow the gaze down his dress, under the white cover-piece, well into the fake cleavage. There was a soft, sloppy sound as the adhesive let go, a matching one as it reattached itself to Duo's chest following the retrieval of a tiny set of lock-picks. Duo adjusted his dress, in no way oblivious to Heero's reaction. "You-" Jaw clench. "You used-"

Duo grinned, did his best to squat without tearing the dress. "What, used my fake boobs for storage? Sure. Do you see any damn pockets on this dress? Had to stuff my things somewhere, and it's not like I had anything to fill the space with, so..." Quick shrug. Duo focused on the lock, and a few moments of concentration later, a satisfying 'click' resonated through the deserted hallway. He got to his feet, much too amused at Heero's expression of uncertainty, eyes still focused at the hem of his dress. "Wanna touch my boobs? They'll be gone forever tonight, so it's a once in a lifetime opportunity, pal."

Quick frown.

Duo chuckled, gave a quick demonstration, cupping one of them. "You sure? They're real nice - got one of Howard's techies to help me make them. Guy worked as an industrial plastics designer before he joined the team, and he knows his stuff. Don't think he's had a job quite like this before, but..." Big grin. "Anyway, decided to go with this instead of shoving in some apples to fill the space. Wanted cover in case anyone made a grab for the goodies."

Heero met his eyes. "It's... not that sort of party," he tersely replied. His gaze wandered down again, and when Duo straightened his back as if to strut the plastic domes glued to his chest, he gave in to temptation. As best as he could judge, the object in his palm had a 'real' feel to it - not that he had much of a basis of comparison. Soft, but not liquid - and not giving away that they were hollow. He hoped they wouldn't rattle if Duo had to run later.

He had a feeling Howard's associate had had more fun than he should have from the task.

It appeared Duo had, too.

Heero let go. Enough was enough, he could appreciate craftsmanship later, if the desire struck him. "We'd better get started. You didn't sense any alarms, did you?"

Quick shrug. "The blueprints didn't have any, the plans we lifted from the security company's database didn't have any either. Guess our boy doesn't worry much about security, hoarding his secrets in a place like this. And no, couldn't detect any alarms either. Perfectly normal lock. All too easy."

Serious face. "Exactly."

Roll of eyes. "Look, a little paranoia is healthy, but you're a full-fledged junkie."

Frown. "Am not. I just leave my options open, that's all." He touched the door handle again, tentatively pushed it down, slowly opening the door. When there was a slight gap, he peered into the room, tried to discern any tripwire mechanism - but found none. Quiet sigh of relief. "Okay, we're clear... I'll go in and work the computer, you remain here and stand lookout in case anyone shows up."

Duo was not quite happy with that call. "Hey, I'm just as good with hacking as you are - why do I have to stand-"

Full-fledged smirk. "Because you're better equipped to distract them."

Before Duo could get his jaw back up and deliver a significant retort, Heero had slipped inside, closing the door. Faint laughter came through the mahogany. With a huff of indignation, Duo folded his arms and turned around, leaning up against the wall next to the door.

Five minutes later, he had lost most of his steam. Grumpiness was substituted with flat boredom. Given how easy their mission had been so far, Heero's tardiness was unexpected.

Then again, perhaps the computer was as archaic as Heero's favorite laptop, and needed the full five minutes to boot up in the first place.

He had not wanted company - nor had he expected it. Least of either was-

"Hello, beautiful," said the familiar voice, albeit a faint slur was upon it. Fighting the reactive cringe, Duo followed the words back to their maker. Sure enough, stumbling his way towards him was Dwayne, one hand trying to casually caress the wall as he went, the other clutching the neck of a dark green bottle.

If only there had been some easy way to dispose of the body... Alas, that was too much of a risk. Instead, he braved a smile, hoping to deflect whatever was coming. "Hello again."

Dwayne straightened up a bit at that, taken aback. At length, a grin of recognition spread across his face. "Ah, Nancy. We meet again." Two shuffles of feet closer, one quick push against the wall, quick stumble, but remaining upright. "Tell me, my dear - has your escort for the evening abandoned you already?"

Duo shook his head, still smiling. "No, he hasn't - he's... otherwise engaged at the moment. He should return shortly, though."

Dwayne sobered away his grin, nodded at the information, yet foolishly decided to linger. He glanced down the hall, towards the door to the men's room. "Ah, I see... Yes, those canapés they serve can get to the best of us, I'm afraid. I say, one should always stick to safer substances." At that, he raised his bottle to Duo, both pushing a point and offering.

Duo quickly shook his head.

With a shrug, Dwayne took a rather large gulp from the bottle.

It was all too clear why the poor bastard acted so desperately. With as little technique and finesse like this, he'd be lucky to pick up a hooker at a flesh fair, and would have to be infinitely more so to interest someone at a ballroom dance.

Dwayne's silly grin returned, and after a quick hiccup, he stumbled closer to Duo. Duo braced himself in the doorframe. If nothing else, this drunken bastard was not going to disrupt their mission. Distraction, indeed. "Dwayne, I'm really sorry, but I think you should go back down to the party, and-"

One palm planted itself against the doorframe with a thump, the slush and clunk of the bottle hit the opposing side. Duo glanced from one corner of his eye to the other, quickly taking both of Dwayne's hands in before the putrid odor of the drunk man's breath hit his face. "Oh, don't be that way, my lovely..." Dwayne slurred, eyes glassy. "I have a room right here in the building - wouldn't you come join me and... look at my stamp collection?"

The urge to knee the guy was bigger than ever. Castration was tempting too, but given that he didn't have a knife handy, that'd mean he'd have to do it hands-on, and there was no way he was going to touch-

Dwayne was another matter, though. Given that he didn't have the proper nerves, Duo didn't react right away, and instead looked down to see Dwayne's palm close around one of his breasts, squeezing the sculpted plastic softly. His expression of mild surprise was probably accurate enough, and he glanced up to meet Dwayne's much too rapidly approaching leer.

Yet, through all of that, one thought alone raced through his mind, still in the clutches of acting the part - what would a woman do in a situation like this?

Duo had already balled his fist and started swinging by the time he considered that to be incorrect, and instead opened it to a flat palm at the last second, slamming into Dwayne's cheek with enough force to send the man stumbling away, spilling some of the bottle's contents, but not dropping it. He cradled the heated flesh with his free palm and looked at Duo in disbelief.

Duo glared at the drunkard, but kept the stream of potent curses wanting out at bay. "I'm not that sort of girl!" he hissed. He clenched his teeth as soon as he'd said it; no doubt Heero would laugh his ass off at that. Duo pushed the thought aside, and prepared for Dwayne's next move. If the idiot was planning on getting violent, Duo would put him to sleep soon enough. One quick jab to the neck ought to render the man unconscious for a while.

Dwayne didn't turn angry, though. Instead, he took another gulp of the bottle, and made a mockery of a pout. "But... Sweet Nancy..."

Folding his arms, Duo kept scowling at him. "Richard will be back soon," he warned. "Go away while you can still walk, Dwayne." Duo wasn't sure if he put enough contempt in the name to match his mood, but the message apparently got across.

There was a flash of fear across Dwayne's face. Still sulking, the bottle safe in his grasp, he slinked away. As he rounded a corner, Duo relaxed with a sigh and leaned back against the doorframe.

The door cracked open, and in the thin gap Duo saw part of Heero's face. "Did he... touch you?" The fire in his eye and twitch of eyebrow belied the forced calm in his voice.

"Only the boob."

That statement was enough to shake Heero out of his barely restrained anger, flashing through confusion, ending at realization. "Oh..."

Duo shook his head, grinning. "don't worry about it. He's not worth the trouble, anyway." He looked at Heero again. "Did you get the data?"

Heero opened the door fully, presented a small data cartridge between fore- and middle finger as an answer. Duo snapped the cartridge out of Heero's hand and promptly stuffed it in his hidden frontal compartment. Heero looked dumbfounded for just a minute, but didn't protest. On the unlikely event of a superficial frisk-search, it would be safe there, judging from the drunkard's reaction. He allowed himself half a smirk in triumph. "Mission accomplished."

"Yeah..." Duo breathed out, "At least one of them..."

Flagged brow. "One of them? What are you talking about? We only had-"

Duo doubled the ante, raising both eyebrows, studying Heero from head to toe and halfway back up again. "I have one more objective..."

Low growl. "Duo..."

Eyes level, lecherous grin. "Just a quick look - please?"

"When we get back."

"Riiiight," Duo drawled. "As if you wouldn't duck into the nearest bathroom and replace them with boxers."

Snort, half a smirk. Heero started walking back towards the stairs. "You know I wear briefs. Boxers and spandex doesn't mix well."

"I know..." Duo intercepted him, blocked his path. "Come on, a little peek couldn't hurt?"

"What, want me to flash you here in the hallway?"

Chuckle. "I wouldn't mind..."

Heero rolled his eyes, slapped one of Duo's extended arms aside and passed him by.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours..."

Heero stopped, turned to look over his shoulder. "Now, that is childish."

Grin. "And obviously working..."

Heero's eyes made a quick sweep of Duo's body. Even in the padded dress, he could see the frame he knew quite intimately from experience. However, the wrapping could be just as intriguing. "Are you saying that you-"

Cautious nod. "You ought to know, you bought it all..."

Quick breath. "You're saying you're actually wearing-"

Again, Duo nodded. "Still not interested?"

Heero pursed his lips. Sure, he'd gotten Duo the dress, the shoes, the accessories - all under the guise of buying things for his girlfriend, more than once getting help and useful hints from saleswomen, more than once fighting back a blush. At no time was it as bad as in the lingerie store. He'd only gone there to get what he needed to fulfill a promise. He'd bought something for Duo's disguise at the last minute, thinking it a good joke, nothing more. Thin black lace, an intricate pattern with fairly wide masks in strategic - and less strategic - places. Even so, they had seemed elastic and loosely shaped enough to be comfortable even for a man - or at least a relaxed man.

He could never decide whether or not the saleswoman was playing a prank on him.

He should never have told her his imagined girlfriend had 'roughly his size' in underwear. It had seemed so logical, coming out of his mouth that first time. He wanted a pair to go good on his promise, after all - even if Duo had probably thought it a joke. In return for Duo's full dress, he would don the underwear. This more refined sort was an improvisation.

And he certainly wouldn't mind see Duo in them. In his mind, he already was. It was more out of curiosity than arousal, though. "Fine," he relented, looked about. "There," he said, nodding towards the door to the left at the end of the hallway.

Duo saw the sign. "The men's room?"

"Yeah," Heero answered, already walking. "Most people probably stay down on the first floor tonight, but if there's any restroom that could crowd, it'd be the ladies' room."

Snort. "Fine by me."

Heero pushed the door open, stood aside, smirking. "Ladies first."

Duo gave him a one-digit salute and entered.

And stopped. The bright room was a study in pristine white porcelain, clear mirrors and gilded edges. There were stacks of clean terry-cloth towels near all three washbasins, and the three booths were at least twice the standard economic size. There was a small chair at the end of the line of sinks, too. "This is a public restroom?"

"Not quite... It's this club's restroom. Lucky for us the attendant is not here this evening." He nodded to the empty chair and the towel stacks, closed the door behind him. "Self-service tonight, at least up here. Probably double staff downstairs."

"Ah-huh..." Duo took in the room. No graffiti anywhere, not even a little doodle. One of the booth doors was open; another sign nobody attended the place tonight. Even the paper looked expensive - both the sanitary and the reading material next to the ashtray at the tiny table inside. Definitely a place for rich men to let all worries go for a short while. Duo shook his head. He wasn't here to study aristocratic 'public' architecture.

He turned around, only to see Heero already busy undoing his belt.

"You should take off your coat first, or you'll wrinkle it."


"Over there," Duo offered, nodding towards the open stall door. "There's a coat hanger. You're apparently not the first fancy-dressed gentleman to come in here with a coat-tail issue."

Half a smirk, grunt. He unbuttoned his black jacket, his belt already undone, the loosened strip of leather wagging as he walked.

Duo watched as Heero hung up the coat, then casually leaned up against the counter. "Now, show me..."

Heero put his hands to his pants, plucking one button at a time, doing his best to tease - but not stall. The longer they stayed here, the greater the risk of being discovered. His parted fly showed off a strip of white now, a small bulge below. He shifted his legs, presented Duo with a hip, let the pants slip just a little more, and more - and finally let the thin black pants go entirely, making a shuffle of a spin to show himself off.

Duo's mouth was running dry. He pushed away from the counter. "Plain white cotton..." he said, a tad of resignation in his voice. He'd almost hoped Heero would have picked something more daring, but this was good enough. Duo removed his ring and gloves as he approached, putting the ring inside his left glove. "Lift your shirt and turn around again."

Heero did. The white cotton panties clung to his skin, arched high on his hips, narrowed down along his buttocks, albeit not enough to slip between and cause discomfort. The front certainly seemed roomy enough... at least for now. Duo tossed his gloves at the small table under Heero's jacket. He stopped Heero's spin, hugged him close and ferociously assaulted Heero's lips with his own, his hands roaming Heero's lower back, one slipping to paw at a barely clad buttock. He sparred with Heero's tongue, squeezed softly with his palm.

Heero let go a moan, needed next to no coaxing to grind his hip against Duo's thigh. Their kiss broke.

"Cotton panties?" Duo asked, his other hand joining the first, caressing Heero's exposed hip, playing with the narrow hem.


Leer. "Not really..."

They kissed again. Heero's hands flicked at the zipper at Duo's back, but didn't pull it, not wanting to get any of Duo's hair entangled. Instead, he dug through the coarse, light brown mass, filtered thick, loose strands between his fingers. It had taken quite a few hours to get it to behave properly out of the braid. He'd gladly helped Duo with that task. Heero usually refused Duo's playful accusation of his having a hair fetish - but there probably was some scrap of truth in that.

Duo sucked on Heero's tongue, slipped a palm down inside the cotton to grab ass, flicked at the hem with the other, letting the elastic slap against Heero's skin. Even through his dress, Duo could tell the front was growing restrictive now.

He wasn't without issues himself - and unlike Heero, he had precious little room for that. Shini Junior was definitely not entirely happy; odd angles and not entirely comfortable underwear saw to that.

A situation Duo intended to fix.

"You're gorgeous..." he whispered in Heero's ear during a trek to his earlobe, moving on to push aside the collar of Heero's crisp white shirt. Heero helped, loosening his tie and undoing the top two buttons. Duo's lips were on his collarbone, Duo's hands on the side of his hips, inside the elastic, tugging down.

Knowing full well what was going on, Heero put his hands over Duo's. "Stop, Duo - we can't, not-" He gasped as Duo gave his shoulder a light bite. "No time - the risk, Duo! When we get back-" He tried to shirk back against the stall door, and for a second he'd thought Duo relented - only to have his lips seized in another crushing kiss. His legs were having trouble supporting him. It was a good thing Duo's hands were there to steady him.

The kiss ended, the pawing did not. "I have a bulge in my dress the size of a Leo, Heero..." Duo all but breathed against Heero's cheek, landing another kiss there, trailing his tongue down towards Heero's chin. "Even with my... precautions, I'm not sure the dress will cover it well enough..." He winced in pain as Shini Junior tried to shift, but couldn't. He took Heero's lower lip in his own, swept his tongue across it, let go. "I think you'd better help me lose it before we go..."

Duo had flickered his brows at that, given Heero another fierce kiss. Heero didn't fight it, felt his panties slide down his thighs, felt Duo's smile against his skin right above the knee.

"You even shaved your legs?" Duo smoothed his fingers back up across Heero's thighs as he stood up, the cotton panties long since pooled around Heero's ankles, along with his pants.

Heero dared half a smirk in return. "In sympathy. You had to, so-" He hissed as Duo shifted a hand to fondle him roughly, toying with his balls, his now free cock.

"You feel happy about this..." Duo teased. "Admit it, the risk is turning you on..."

It was. And there was no way Heero would admit it - even if his body already had. "M-my turn," he managed to gasp between hisses at Duo's playful touches. "I get to see-"

Duo's hands left him then, and with his pants like shackles, Heero took a few baby steps back, leaving the floorshow to Duo this time. Duo presented one leg, slid his fingertips from his knee and up, right to the split in the dress. A finger flickered under the black fabric, touched a hidden zipper, pushed it up to part the dress, revealing more of Duo's thigh.

Heero licked his lips, leaned back against a closed stall door as Duo shifted to work on his other leg. Heero felt his cock throb, the edges of his shirt grazing the hilt, even with the triangular split in the fine cotton. Sensing his tie was in peril, he hastily undid it, tried to add it to the coat hanger, only successful on the third fumbling attempt as his eyes were glued to Duo; to the sight of Duo lifting his dress, turning around. He cursed Duo for being a tease; with the front half of the skirt up, the bastard showed him his still covered rear - not that that was a bad thing, but-

Heero flagged a brow. Duo was doing something at his chest again, working the fake cleavage to pull something out, he guessed, lifting the skirt to reach- There was a strange sound, and it took Heero a minute to peg it. "...Velcro?"

Duo grinned over his shoulder, breath strained. "Yeah - made some modifications to the dress, just in case..."

Like hell, 'just in case', Heero thought. There was no doubt in his mind Duo had planned for a little tryst during-

The front half of his skirt attached, Duo worked the back part again, lifting it slowly, at last letting Heero see the flimsy piece of black lace, so riddled with gaps it almost showed more of Duo's buttocks than it covered. Heero groaned as Duo started swaying his hips, slowly, easing the skirt up fully, starting a turn. Duo's panties curved high on the hip too, and cut down in a sharp 'v' across his buttocks, but not enough to cause- Heero hesitated. Just what was that bulge against Duo's thigh? What-

He gaped as he realized. "Oh, God..."

"Ye-ah-hah..." Duo groaned through a grin of gritted teeth. He let the back part of the skirt fall back down, squatted down a bit and went to rescue Shini Junior from the painful twist. He let out a throaty sigh of relief, shifted his cock to the front, and with a quick stretch of fabric, through the strategically placed gap there. The short velvet flaps were oddly soothing against his base. He turned around to show Heero.

Heero felt his throat go dry. Oh, he'd noticed that detail. He couldn't miss it, not with how pushy the saleswoman at the lingerie shop had been. The gap had undoubtedly been made for an erection to come through the other way, but the pair of crotchless panties looked just fine this way, too. Especially with Duo in them - or through them.

A snap of fingers next to Duo's throbbing cock got Heero's attention, and he faced the grin, blushing slightly. He winced in sympathy, realizing how Duo had spent the evening. It hadn't been just the high heels impeding his walking. "Does it still hurt?"

Snort, step closer. "What do you think?" Another step. "Nah, not now. Had to stuff my dick somewhere, in case they made a superficial frisk search at the entrance. Didn't think they'd go too intimate on a lady, but-" Shrug, grin again. "Anyway, it wasn't really that bad until you turned me on, you bastard." Duo's grin became a leer, letting Heero know Duo was not blaming him.

But Duo's embrace and devouring kiss certainly suggested he was expected to help Duo work out his issue; said issue grinding against his own. One of Duo's palms cupped his butt cheeks again. Duo pushed him up against the stall door, ended their kiss only to work on a hickey at Heero's neck.

Again, Duo rocked his hips. Heero let go a moan, felt a good shiver race his spine. It was so good... His smaller brain was all for it, but a distant voice in his larger admonished caution, finally winning through. "Duo-" Hiss as a finger grazed his crack. "We can't - we have to get out of here-"

Duo growled against Heero's neck, raked his teeth against the raw skin. "Like hell... I can't put that-" Forceful roll of hips, "-back between my legs. I told you, you're going to have to help me lose it first."

Heero barely managed a frown. "Fine, I'll give you a quick blowjob, and..."

His voice trailed off as Duo wagged a finger before his eyes. Duo tapped Heero's nose, then reached down his cleavage again, careful not to undo the Velcro straps securing the front half of his skirt. The fake bosom gave away, and Duo held up a small, familiar tube and a few condoms plastic wrappers, grinning triumphantly.

Heero had to smile at that, if nervously, and rolled his eyes. Duo had definitely planned this. The dress, the hollow boobs... It wouldn't surprise him if Duo had known he was wearing panties even before they left their hideout, despite his behavior earlier.

"No blow jobs," Duo breathed against his lips, eyes intently locked at Heero's. "I wanna fuck you..."

Heero's knees threatened to buckle again. God, he wanted to be fucked. The lust in Duo's eyes was unmistakable - and just a reflection of his own, he imagined. They kissed again, fast, sloppy.

Duo took the lubricant in one hand, the condom packets in the other. He grabbed the corner of one with his teeth and ripped the packet open, spat the bit of plastic away and crushed his lips to Heero's again. Reaching around Heero's back, he fumbled with the tube cap, unrolled the condom on one finger and squeezed out generous helping of lube. He shifted his hands down, spread Heero's butt cheeks and wiggled the covered digit inside. Not breaking their lip-lock, he thrust his hips against Heero again, rubbing their cocks together and pushing Heero back against the wall, onto the finger. Heero's slight whimper went straight to Duo's groin. Again, he moved.

Heero all but squirmed at Duo's touches; outside, inside, above, below... He moaned against Duo's lips; he was enjoying this, almost a bit too much - but they didn't have time- He broke free from the kiss, knocking the back of his head against the stall door. "Enough," he hissed, panting already. "We have to hurry." He gulped. It wasn't like this was his first time, and it wasn't as if he expected to avoid being a bit tender in the morning; the burning lust in Duo's eyes was a sure sign of that. This was going to be fast, all right. Fast and hard. Heero dared a leer.

He didn't have a real problem with that.

Duo coaxed him into the toilet stall, tossed the already used condom in the bowl and handed Heero another pack. "Here, better get dressed."

Heero hesitated, not quite understanding. "I thought you said - do you want me to fuck-"

Wolf-like grin. "In your dreams, pal." Duo quickly ripped open the last condom packet and unfurled the rubber on his cock. "I was just thinking we'd avoid you coming all over the toilet. Would make clean-up a heck of a lot easier."

Heero frowned at that, turning around. If Duo thought he'd be topping forever, he had a new reality coming...

...but not tonight. Heero opened and discarded his packet, put on the condom and shuffled closer to the toilet, placing his palms against the wall. Behind him, Duo coated his cock, placed the tube on the stall table between the ashtray and his gloves and reached for some toilet paper, hastily cleaning up the worst mess on his fingers and depositing the soggy paper in the bowl.

Heero tried to calm his breath as Duo's hands steadied his hips. The underside of Duo's cock pushed against his ass, nudged the back of his shirt until Duo's hands trailed up his sides and lifted the cotton shirt to safety. Fingers raked across his stomach, brushed down through dark curls, grabbed at the base of Heero's erection. He hissed through clenched teeth, pushed his rear back against Duo's crotch. The teasing was growing irritating.

And the bastard behind him was enjoying every minute of it. He could almost feel Duo's smile when he kissed his cheek. "Ready?"

Hell yes, he was ready. He tilted his head in an attempt to frown at Duo, ground his rear against Duo again.

Soft chuckle. "If that's what you want..."

Heero took calming breaths, braced himself, tried to put his legs apart, something the shackles that were his pants and panties made difficult. For that brief moment, he envied Duo the dress and refined underwear, leaving his legs free. Duo spread Heero's ass cheeks, positioned himself. The tip of Duo's cock nudged Heero's opening, but lingered...

Then came the savage thrust; Duo made one fast push to seat himself fully inside Heero. Heero gasped out aloud, gave a weary smirk. It was more surprise than pain. They'd last made love that morning; he was fairly loose already. Besides, he enjoyed it when Duo was rough.

He enjoyed it when Duo was torturously careful as well.

Yet, Heero still promised himself their roles would be reversed some day. Preferably soon.

As Duo started moving, those thoughts quickly left him, his mind growing incoherent with tactile sensations, outside and within. As expected, Duo's thrusts were fast, hard, needy. Duo made a sloppy attempt at a kiss to Heero's neck, but his pace and the crisp shirt collar prevented that. Heero arching his neck, moaning, didn't help. Duo lifted Heero's shirt, flicked his fingertips against Heero's nipples with one hand, massaging Heero's balls with the other.

Heero shuddered, hissed as Duo shifted his thrusts, landing more direct hits against his prostate. His legs were going weak already; his inability to spread them further didn't help. Duo must have noticed, however. His teasing hands went back to steady Heero's hips.

Heero tilted his head, tried to glare over his shoulder. "You planned all this..." Another groan at a precise impact.

Duo leered at him, much too amused. "Oh," he started, words coming between fast thrusts, "Every - little - detail." Even in his panting, he managed a stressed chuckle at another of Heero's soft, throaty sounds. "You're - enjoying - this - aren't - you?"

He was, but Duo's cocky attitude could get annoying - especially during sex. He tried the glare again, dispelled as Duo reached down and stroked his erection again. Fast thrust in, no retreat.

"You," Duo panted in his ear. "Like my-" Breath, "Big cock-" Soft wheeze, "Inside you-" Pant, "Don't you?"

Very annoying, Heero decided. Never mind how it was true. He clenched his inner muscles, smirked over his shoulder at hearing Duo's hiss. "You're can be so damn full of yourself..."

Strained chuckle. "You're," pant, "pretty full of myself, too." Before Heero could do more than scoff, Duo resumed his thrusting, making sure to steady Heero's hips.

Heero moaned, leaned forward for support against the wall, and simultaneously he pushed back to meet Duo's thrusts. The flaps of velvet grazing his ass was an odd feeling, one he almost missed. Still, the little kink of it turned him on even more. His cock throbbed, and he gasped as Duo's palm wrapped around it once more.

Then, Duo suddenly slowed down, the hand gone.

Heero was irritated, to say the least. If Duo wanted to fuck him, fine - but they didn't have time to linger. The initial reception and opening speeches downstairs would be over soon, and their absence at the dinner table would be noticed, especially as they hadn't excused themselves yet. He looked over his shoulder, saw Duo reach for the handle on the stall door. As the door was pulled shut, Heero had had enough. "Duo, what ar-mph-"

Duo's hand was back - but covering his mouth, not his cock. "Sssh," Duo hissed in Heero's ear, thrusts slowing to a stop. "Someone's coming..."

Only too true, Heero wanted to offer in rebuttal - but he knew that wasn't what Duo meant. He heard the footsteps too, now. His heart beat faster. He definitely heard the soft creaking of the restroom door. Didn't they lock- He thought back. No, apparently they forgot that part... He glanced over his shoulder at Duo, saw that his lover had already donned his business face, yet remained firmly embedded inside him.

Indeed, the risk of getting caught was a turn-on - and they weren't caught yet. He glanced at the stall door, noticed it lacked a lock. He cursed against Duo's palm.

Then came the humming and shuffle of feet. He exchanged glances with Duo, not sure what was going on. Not security?

The hum broke out in a bit too cheerful song for a moment, then back to humming. The feet approached the wall opposed to the door; the urinals, Heero remembered. He gritted his teeth; he had also recognized the voice.

So had Duo, apparently also making a positive identification of Dwayne. By the sounds of it, a very drunk Dwayne. The 'whoops' and the clanking noise of hard glass to zinc coming over the stall walls only built up under that suspicion. Duo grinned like mad. Heero didn't need anyone to tell him that meant trouble - what sort, he wasn't sure of.

Not until he heard a zipper be undone, and Duo rocked his hips again, slowly at first, but building up a leisurely pace; their lovemaking very quiet now.

Except Heero's muffled moans. He barely managed to keep a grip of himself and stop the next. He really wanted to yell at his partner, ask what the hell he was thinking, but for several reasons - the risk of Dwayne hearing and Duo's palm over his mouth two of them - he couldn't.

Duo's prodding went precise again; Heero shivered, couldn't suppress the throaty sound. So good - so dangerous. He managed to glare at Duo from the corner of his eye. Duo only grinned and increased the pace slightly, not caring the slightest that Dwayne might hear them. The rough trickle of fluid against metal deafened out the soft slap of skin against skin, though Heero's ragged breaths and whimpers threatened to break that barrier.

So close now... Heero silently cursed Duo for being so right; the risk was a major turn-on - as long as they didn't get caught. Duo was teasing him now; how long could he go without screaming out his pleasure? Would he last until Dwayne was out the door?

Heero was much too certain Duo didn't care if Dwayne heard them; the man would probably find himself knocked out in a heartbeat if he did.

Still keeping one palm across Heero's mouth, Duo kept up the thrusts - worse, started to shift his hips as he entered and left. Heero closed his eyes, close to going crazy by Duo's teasing. Duo's palm could only block so much, and Heero felt he was showing great restraint not biting into the flesh as it was.

The trickle outside stopped. Ruffle of fabric and zipper. Feet shuffled over to the row of sinks. Duo didn't pause, much to Heero's frustration. He tried to keep quiet, tried to keep his breathing calm - but it was futile. One throaty sound after another left him, his breathing sounding throughout the restroom, no doubt - and Duo wasn't doing much of a job covering up his own sounds, either.

Dwayne pushed the faucet down, shook his hands and reached for a towel. Again, there were some muffled sounds from the corner stall. He glanced at the door, shrugged, studied his mirror image and sighed. He had been down on his luck tonight... Even that lovely young woman with the black dress had eventually turned him down. He frowned. Damn cocktease, she was. First she had all but assaulted him, then done nothing but push him away... He grabbed the bottle from the counter, lifted it to drink - but nothing came out. He frowned at the empty bottle, put it aside. He needed a drink. Dwayne looked at his reflection, nodded. Yes, he was going to make it back downstairs without tripping. Sure, his nose and cheeks were a bit rose-colored, but as long as he could walk straight, nobody would notice he was drunk.

At least, that was his reasoning.

There was another series of strained sounds from the corner stall. Dwayne shook his head. Poor guy must have eaten something that seriously disagreed with his body, by the sounds of it. Dwayne was glad he'd skipped the canapés.

Another drawn-out groan. Could it be something more serious? Worried now, Dwayne shuffled his way across the room, barely keeping his balance now, the weight of the bottle he'd gotten used to no longer there. He knocked at the door. "Hey, buddy... You okay in there?" he slurred. It sounded comprehensible to his own ears, at least.

There was no reply, not until another moan crept around the door.

Was this man dying? Gravely concerned, Dwayne opted to breach normal etiquette, quickly opened the stall-

And gaped, utterly shocked. There was the beautiful young woman he'd wooed many times earlier that night, except her dress looked torn, the young man in front of her was naked from the waist down, his pants pooled around his ankles - and as the man shifted to stare at him, Dwayne caught on to what currently linked him to her. Or rather, him. Dwayne's balance betrayed him and he fell backwards, landing hard on the tile floor. "N-Nancy?!"

Caught between a grin and a glare, and not the least bit deterred, keeping a slow pace, Duo snapped at the intruder. "What, never seen a girl fuck her boyfriend before? Scram!"

Dwayne didn't need to be told twice; he stumbled himself up on his legs and made for a hasty departure, the look of utter bafflement remaining plastered on his face.

Heero felt his entire body heat up - and it was not all good. His cheeks were decidedly flushed, his ears following. Bad enough to be caught having sex in a public place. Bad enough Duo didn't have the good sense to be embarrassed about it. Bad enough he was utterly turned on by it, and how he was now this close.

And far too bad they had to scram themselves. Dwayne was probably running for security that very moment. "We have to-" A good shiver raced up his spine as Duo hit the sweet spot again, pumping Heero's cock almost timed to his thrusts. Heero clenched his teeth. "Need - Get out of here, now-" Another moan.

"We'll be-" Breath, deep thrust, "Done here - before - he gets - back." Duo groaned. "Just a - little - bit - longer-" He upped the pace, almost desperately so, hugged Heero's chest with one hand, jerking him off with the other.

He went good on his promise; Heero couldn't hold it anymore, nor did he want to - and as his insides closed in around Duo, his lover came right after him; in him, around him, Duo's cry of pleasure right by Heero's ear.

It was a miracle they were still standing - after a fashion.

"God, that was great," Duo panted, already scrambling to reach for the roll of toilet paper, slipping himself out. Heero barely managed to turn around to sit down on the toilet seat, his legs weak, his palms throbbing. Duo tore off a strip of paper, handed it to Heero. "We'd better clean up and get out of here right away."

Heero nodded. That much, he could agree with... ...even if he'd loved to stay and enjoy the rush coursing through his body a little longer. He unrolled the condom, tossed it in the bowl, cleaned himself up as best he could.

Duo did the same, then reached around Heero to flush the toilet. He adjusted his underwear, tucking a sated and utterly relaxed Shini Junior snugly back between his legs. Uncomfortable, but nothing like it had been - and it wasn't for long this time. He started working his dress back to normal, wondering how badly his makeup had been smeared. He grinned, leaned in to deliver another kiss to Heero's lips. "Get dressed." He grinned, reached for his gloves. "Or not - but they might not like streakers here."

Heero grunted at that, half a smile on his lips; all he could muster. He stood up on wobbly legs, managed to pull up his panties and pants, methodically but quickly tucked his shirt back into place. The belt, the tie, the buttons - as he put on his jacket, he took in Duo, standing by the mirror, using his hands, water and a small towel to make the best of his appearance. Heero smirked. The lipstick was pretty much the only thing that had been overly smudged - as long as he could wipe that off, they'd probably be able to sneak past security without causing too much attention.

Providing they got there before Dwayne. "We'd better run. Got your boobs on?"

Duo chuckled, tossed him the towel. "Better wipe your face, Casanova. You have a bit of lipstick on you."

He approached the mirror, smiled at his reflection. A bit, indeed... Heero made a mental note; Duo and lipstick did not mix - especially not if he and Duo were to mix afterwards. He wiped his face clean. As he discarded the towel, he caught sight of a small trinket at the floor. He squatted down to pick it up; it was Duo's ring.

"Hey, Duo - you dropped this."

Duo turned to look at him, first looking surprised, then mightily amused. "Uh, Heero..." He shook his head, offered his hand. "Sure."

Heero quickly placed the ring back into place. As Duo snickered, Heero frowned up at him. "What?"

Badly concealed grin. "Oh, nothing. Thanks, Heero."

Heero got to his feet, mulling it over. As he got upright again, a thought struck him, and he felt his cheeks warm up again. He sighed to himself, made half a smile. "Consider it a rehearsal," he mumbled.

Duo chuckled at that. "Sure thing - let's talk about this again sometime. Does when we've won the war sound good to you?"

Heero smirked, nodded. "Fine."

"Good. We'd better scram. Ready?"

Again, Heero nodded.

Duo grabbed his hand, almost tripped on the high heels as he started pulling his lover to the exit. "Then let's get going."


Dwayne was stumbling towards the top of the stairs, eyes round and wide. Without a hand following the wall to steady himself, he would have fallen long since. Nancy - she'd - he'd - he shook his head, took deep breaths. She was not what she seemed, that was for sure. "Women," Dwayne muttered angrily to himself. Nothing but trouble, they were - and always working under false pretense, pretending to be something they weren't, always out to get him, and- His jaw dropped again, another rushed thought hitting his already half swimming, half drowning mind. What if he'd fallen to her woos, to her charm, what if he'd accepted her candid offer to-

The world was so thoroughly clear through beer goggles. As he remembered it, he'd been the one to nobly refuse. He hadn't been dumped. Not that it mattered; come morning he usually didn't remember anything.

This, however, he wasn't sure he could forget. The exasperated look of Nancy's escort lingered at his retina. Oh, the poor man... Dwayne could only offer his sympathies to the unfortunate, obviously deceived young man. How close had not he himself been to having taken his place? He shuddered, none too delighted at the thought of Nancy pull up her dress, only to show... that, and worse, do things to him with it.

The look Nancy had given him was that of a killer - literally, not figuratively. Dwayne had little doubt her cavalier had not volunteered himself to her - his - desires.

He came to the stairs, reached for the banister, his cold, clammy hand struggling to get a good grip. Precariously, he made his way down, stumbling but not falling. He'd learned his lesson on that before; stairs were dangerous when he was a bit tipsy. Normally, he'd never have switched floors during a party, but Nancy had seduced him to follow. He gritted his teeth, frowned. Damn the woman - or whatever she was.

He needed to talk to someone. He needed to sit down. He needed a drink. Not necessarily in that order. Recalling only one place that could provide all three, he stumbled towards the bar.

Dwayne was soon enough intercepted by one of the club's servants, accompanied by two security guards. "Sir, can I help you?" The servant asked stiffly, a mild contempt on his face. The nobleman, obviously drunk, gave him a panicked stare, mumbled something about deceptive women and his next drink. "Sir?"

"The bar," Dwayne blurted out. "I need another drink - a big one."

The servant slowly raised a brow, quickly reached out to support the nobleman as he lost his balance again. "Perhaps Sir has had enough to drink already?" he cautiously suggested.

Dwayne started sobbing, tore himself free and staggered towards the bar. The servant and the two guards followed, trying to be discrete - something Dwayne did not. As his dubious luck would have it, he was intercepted just before he could shout at the barkeep for a drink and unload all his thoughts on the poor man.

"Drunk again, Dwayne?" a sad voice full of pity asked.

He turned away from the counter, breaking out in a smile, quick to embrace the woman and sob against her shoulder. "'lette!"

Obviously bothered, she couldn't do more than offer a weak return of the hug, rolling her eyes. How often had she not been in this situation? "I've told you - call me Juliette, Dwayne..."

"'lette," he insisted, not listening to anyone but himself. "Awful - they - and she - he-" another loud sob.

"Foolish little brother..." Juliette muttered. It was not the first time, and was not likely to be the last. Obviously, her clumsy brother had attempted to court some unfortunate young lady again, and gotten brutally rejected for the effort. That was usually what triggered the first drink, eased the downing of the second, and so forth. Her brother had a real problem with restraint.

More than once, she'd helped nurse her brother's broken heart - or bruises, depending on how forward he'd been or how much he'd been drinking before she - or unconsciousness - had come to his rescue. Dwayne was not a violent man, but tended to bump into things when his mind ran on alcohol.

This was not the place, though. She could feel the entire room staring at them. She looked at the small group closest to them. "John, Allen - could you please offer me your assistance here?"

Her date as well as her friend Ashley's did as requested, picking up Dwayne between them.

"Dwayne," Juliette told her brother, "we're going to carry you upstairs, and then you're going to bed to sleep this off. We'll talk all about what's troubling you tomorrow. Do you understand?"

He nodded at first, then shook his head. "Stay with me..."

She momentarily closed her eyes, drew a deep breath. Whatever her brother had been up to tonight, she could tell she wasn't going to approve. It wasn't the first event they had attended that Dwayne had caused a scene at. All she could do now, was damage control. She nodded, accepting his condition.

She led them around the bar, ignoring the light murmurs of the nearby crowd. It'd be forgotten tomorrow - perhaps sooner; Duke Greer was still drinking heavily, and the usually distinguished gentleman had far more of a history as a brawler when overly tipsy. His wife was not here tonight to water out his drinks, either.

Just as they made it through the large drapes hung up to cover the staircase and make the semblance of a wall behind the bar, Juliette turned to make one last sweep of the crowd. They all seemed to return to their regular chatter. That was good; the Lebowski family name did not need any scandal, however mild, attached to it.

Then she noticed the young couple making their way down the stairs at the other end of the room. Richard and Nancy, she remembered. They looked like a cute couple. They had struck her as still trapped in the first round of romance, where emotions were stronger than reason.

Richard looked rather flushed, making a strange sort of mellow smile, nervously studying the crowd. His hand was thoroughly interlocked in Nancy's, and the young woman gave her escort a silly grin.

Juliette made a knowing smile of her own and ducked through the drapes. Ah, so that might have been what happened. Dwayne must have been roaming about upstairs, and had perhaps coming across Nancy and Richard doing less than respectable things, thus gaining quite a bit of a shock in his drunken stupor.

Nancy seemed in a far better mood than she had been earlier that evening. She should, Juliette thought to herself. Richard seemed quite the catch, and if his tongue was as talented at certain other things as it were on debate... She felt a slight shiver down her back, gathered herself. Well, she could only be happy for Nancy; it was nice to be in love. She looked up at John's back. Yes, it was nice, indeed.

Richard and Nancy had obviously been rushing for a graceful exit, perhaps concerned of the ruckus her brother could stir up. Juliette was fully sympathetic for that, and had no interest in hindering them from achieving a clean escape. She was more concerned about duplicating their move, ensuring Dwayne would cause no more trouble tonight.

She sighed to herself. She would have to send a note excusing herself from the dinner, as was proper. Her promise to Dwayne required as much. Still, she dared an optimistic smile. She could probably persuade John to help baby-sit, too.


"A total success!" Duo proclaimed as their car rounded the corner, careful to drive just fast enough not to cause attention.

Heero groaned at that, his half-smile and fading blush not entirely in agreement. He was glad to hear Duo's natural voice again, though. It was finally safe for Duo to shut down the voice scrambler. The rest of their getup had to wait for their return to base.

They'd delivered their excuse to the herald, claiming they were sorry to leave so early, but had other pressing engagements that very evening. The herald had accepted the message and promised to make the proper adjustments for the dinner table. There was still time, after all.

Security didn't seem to notice them at all. Some commotion over by the bar drew their attention away. Heero had half-feared it was Dwayne causing trouble for them, spilling all of what he'd seen upstairs, sure to send the guards looking. That hadn't happened.

In short, they'd been exceptionally lucky - at least in Heero's mind.

But the rush of it all... Oh, his blood was still simmering, quickly reheated when Duo grabbed a hold of his hand again, clutching it tight. They exchanged smiles, both growing rapidly towards leers. Duo started saying something, but stopped himself short. He glanced at the driver, then reached for the instrument panel, pushing a button. A sooted wall of plexiglass went up between their coupe and the driver's compartment, ensuring their privacy.

No sooner did the glass stop, did Duo turn his grin on his partner. "You looked good in panties."

Heero glared at him, wondering if it was worth it to serve Duo a retort. He had a bad loss record in such verbal sparring matches. When logic had nothing to do with it and imagination and improvisation was key, he was at a bit of a disadvantage versus Duo.

Duo placed a hand on Heero's thigh, caressing his way towards the crotch. "But those were really plain, Heero." Quick kiss to cheek. "I mean, white cotton undies? That's not all that sexy..."

Snort. "I didn't see you complaining back there... Besides, we made a deal. I lived up to my end of it, that's all." He sighed, put his hands behind his head to rest, not the slightest bit bothered by how intimate Duo's palm was becoming - quite the contrary. "Mission accomplished..."

Duo grinned. "Missions, Heero. I'd say we can scratch one public bathroom of our 'special' list."

Heero smirked. "Fine, missions. What were you thinking of striking out next? An elevator?"

Snicker. "You're on, pal."

They fell quiet for a bit. Even Duo's hand calmed down, content in merely caressing the inside of Heero's thigh.

"You know..." Duo slowly started, "Maybe I should buy you a real nice pair of panties for our next little outing..."

Heero tilted his head to deliver a resigned frown, all but growling. "Duo..."

Undeterred, Duo's grin widened. It was always fun to tease Heero. Or irritate him. It was a fine line. "Oh, yeah... Black silk, maybe. Something with lots of lace and frills, and-"

Heero's tone of voice grew downright menacing. "Duo..."

Unfortunately for him, Duo was one of the few people it didn't work on. "Yeah, and with just too little room at the front, so that if you ever got excited, you'd 'peak' a bit early."

At Heero's glare, Duo wiggled his brows. Praying silently for patience, Heero sighed, hoping this was only another bout of teasing, not an omen of things to come. He'd questioned his sexuality often enough after meeting Duo, and he thought he'd finally come up with an answer when they'd become lovers. He certainly didn't need this fetish to complicate things. Never mind how the damn panties were sort of comfortable, now that he'd gotten used to them. They could even be worn with his spandex shorts. He grimaced, uncertain what he was thinking.

Duo could see his mild discomfort, and delighted in it. "Hey, it's not like I'd force you to wear a matching bra, or anything..."

Veritable daggers from the deep blue eyes now. Duo leaned in to land a quick kiss on Heero's lips.

"I'm thinking more a long the lines of... say, a fishnet shirt, and maybe a choker."

Heero made a low growl, looked away.

"What, you don't like the idea?"

Heero didn't answer, decidedly grumpy.

Duo's hand kneaded his thigh again, softly. Duo brushed his lips to Heero's cheek, landing soft touches to the corner of Heero's mouth. "Oh, come on..." he pleaded, voice low, nuzzling up against Heero's shoulder. Perhaps he'd gone a bit far this time. "You know I'm only joking..." Heero raised a brow, looked at him. "...sorta," Duo added, grinning.

Heero huffed, but didn't turn away.

Duo squeezed Heero's thigh. "And you know I'd make it up for you. Anything for you, you know that. Just like you're wearing panties for me..."

Heero's sullen face shifted to a weak smile, passing through a smirk and into a leer. Duo felt an odd mix of dread and thrill shoot up and down his spine as Heero seemed to study him, top to bottom and back again. Whatever Heero was thinking, Duo wasn't sure he'd be entirely happy about it.

Ah, hell - it'd be worth it, just to see Heero in those panties again. The mild kink was new to him - perhaps that was why it pushed his buttons so effectively.

Heero reached for Duo's chin, lead him willingly to a thorough kiss. He reached around Duo's waist, pulled him closer. "So... did the lady enjoy her evening out?" he breathed against Duo's ear.

Soft chuckle. Duo gave Heero a soft slap on the cheek - the lower sort. "Quit being a dick, Richard..."

Smirk. "As soon as you quit being a nancy, Nancy..."

Duo snorted. "Just you wait until we get back..."

Heero swept his fingertips along the ridge of Duo's ear, dug his fingers into the weakly tangled mass of long, brown hair. "It's a half hour drive left, at least. Why wait...?"

To that, Duo went on the offensive, kissing Heero fiercely, Shini Junior already growing uncomfortable.

Duo was sure 'in the back of a limo' was on their list somewhere, too.

And if it wasn't, it would be soon enough.


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