Disclaimer: They say debt is an asset - but it's one I'd gladly give away. In other words... I don't hold the rights to the GW universe.

Pairings: 1x2, 3+4
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Shounen Ai/Yaoi, odd humor.

AN: Thanks to nayloushka_9 for beta-reading. Uhm, quick explanation; earlier this week I was musing to myself over how any lengthy story needed hooks early on to catch the reader, preferably with bait. So, I ended up telling myself 'but you can't start a non-PWP with wild monkey-sex.' - then I glanced at the challenge again, and this was the outcome. In advance, my apologies. Oh, and once more above the word limit - 720 this time. *sigh*

And Much Wild Monkey-Sex Ensued
by kebzero

And much wild monkey-sex ensued. There was no way to avoid it, really.

The group had once again relocated; a new day, a new safehouse. It wasn't much - six rooms in all, shared by five pilots. Four beds in three bedrooms, two living room couches, one decrepit old TV set and no cable.

They were stuck with the choice of local news, nature and science, home shopping and a home improvement marathon. They couldn't really go outside. The town they were hiding in was tiny enough for everyone to know everyone else. They would stick out a little too much.

Gardening shows and the like thus had little relevance, and while the news occasionally commented on the war and the Gundams, it was more propaganda than fact, and thus as pointless as the very local news.

They had watched the home shopping channel for a while, since Heero, wielder of the remote by right of grabbing it first, had been vaguely interested in the exercise machinery showcased. When he had caught a glance of his lover grinning and nearly ogling the various demonstrators, male and female alike, he had flipped channels in a heartbeat, though.

And so, they were stuck with nature and science - which wasn't all that bad. Wufei had chosen a good book over the various shows in the first place, and did his best to ignore the lovey-dovey couple snuggling on the other end of the couch, though throwing half-hearted glances at the TV set now and then.

That left only Heero and Duo actually watching - though, not necessarily interested. There had been a show on mobile suit mechanics that had been fairly decent, but it held nothing new, at least to them. Now, it switched to a nature program showcasing various animals, most of it shot in zoos. The commentary droned on and on about how endangered this and that species were, and how attempted breeding programs usually failed.

"Of course they fail," Duo growled back at the TV.


"Yeah, well, look at that poor guy," he stated, pointing at the sad face of an orangutan. "He and the mate are walled in by concrete and steel bars, put under constant supervision and just expected to go at it with wild monkey-sex. Never mind the two have never even seen each other before. Geez..." Duo threw his arms up in frustration.

Wufei, Quatre and Trowa gave him a few seconds worth of attention; the former huffed it away and resumed reading, the latter caught hold of his smiling love's chin and coaxed him to a proper angle for another kiss.

Duo half-groaned at the obvious lack of support, and turned to his last resort, finding only cool blue eyes nearly frowning at him. He sighed in defeat. "Okay... Forget it." He slumped back into the couch.

"So..." Heero cautiously began, "you're saying that if they put caged animals back into the wilds, everything would work out?"

Shrug. "Probably not - but they could at least try to make the place more like home, and make it private. That poor chimp has got to have one heck of a huge performance pressure. No wonder he looks so depressed."

Heero smirked.

"At least they could have painted the walls, thrown some grass at the concrete, or something."

With an amused grunt, Heero got to his feet, tossed the remote to Trowa - who barely caught it in time, preoccupied as he was - and grabbed Duo's wrists, pulling him up of the couch.

"Hey, whats the big idea, Hee-" Tossed over shoulder. "-rooo?!"

Strong hand softly groping butt, other at thigh, for balance. Heero carried him towards their shared bedroom.

Duo hit Heero's back, since punching his jaw was tough from this angle. "Heero, what the heck-"

"Our wallpaper is green and we have two beds in our room," came the smug reply.

Duo was momentarily speechless, processing the sentence. He grinned, grabbed the hem of Heero's tank top and went at Heero's sides for a brief tickle.

They did get over the threshold before Heero couldn't keep from cringing into laughter and finally lose his balance. "Why, you-"

And the door closed, much to the relief of the remaining three.

Caged pilots do best in private, anyway.


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