I'm Afraid of Americans
Part 1
by KM
Heero looked at his watch.
'Duo should be here by now. I wonder what's keeping him...'
His internal monologue was interrupted by a light knock on his front door. 'Speak of the devil... ' he thought with a smirk. "Come in, it's unlocked!" he yelled from his seat on the couch. Heero heard the soft click of the door shutting followed by light footsteps through the kitchen, accompanied by the sound of a coat being removed and the gentle swishing of Duo's hair brushing against his clothes. Only when the noise stopped did Heero turn away from the television to look at Duo, his lanky frame leaning against the doorway, looking casually appealing in a snug black tee shirt and low-slung jeans, his thigh-length hair pulled back into a low ponytail.
"What's the matter, gorgeous? Too tired to get up and open the door for me? Guess that means you'll be too tired to fight me off tonight." In a few graceful strides, Duo was on the couch, straddling Heero's lap. "Come on, Heero," he breathed into the other man's ear, "aren't you ready to stop fighting me? You know you want - "
The rest of his words were cut off as Heero shoved him onto the floor. "Baka," sighed Heero, rolling his eyes. "You're just wasting your time. Now get the drinks and come watch the game."
Duo glared at the dark-haired man reproachfully for a moment before picking himself up and sauntering to the kitchen, swaying his hips just enough to make Heero glance back.
Once the American was out of sight, Heero closed his eyes and sighed. 'What did I do to deserve this?' he asked himself. Once a week, Duo would come over for a visit under the guise of watching a hockey game or some other sporting event, and every week, Duo would make a pass at Heero, only to be rejected every time. This series of events had been going on for over three years, since shortly after the Mariemeia incident, when Heero finally settled down and got his own apartment. Heero had hoped that after the first six months, Duo would get the point, but three years later, nothing had changed.
Duo's attempts were usually fairly innocent and easy to fend off, like putting a hand on Heero's knee or sitting a little too close to him on the couch, but lately his efforts had become increasingly brazen. Just two weeks beforehand, Duo caught Heero completely unawares by wrapping his arms around him and trying to kiss him. Heero made quick work of removing Duo from his person, nearly breaking Duo's wrist in the process. Heero's drastic measures apparently paid off, for the next week, Duo only tried to put his arm around the other man while they sat on the couch, but that too was quickly rebuffed.
'I wonder what he's going to try tonight. That little show when he came in can't be the only thing he's got planned.' Heero's contemplations were cut short by the reappearance of Duo, who plopped down on the couch beside him before handing him a drink.
"Hope you don't mind Michelob ; it's all you had in the fridge." At Heero's answering shrug, Duo rolled his eyes and leaned back into the couch, contenting himself with Heero-watching for the time being. The Japanese man looked exceptionally tempting tonight, wearing Duo's favorite shirt, a short-sleeved yellow button-up , untucked, and an old faded pair of jeans. He appeared relaxed, slouched in his seat, legs stretched out and propped up on the coffee table. 'He never looked like this during the wars. But a lot has changed since then... '
Mentally, the two pilots had finally made the transition to civilian life. Heero had mellowed out considerably, enjoying his life as he had not been able to during his time as a Gundam pilot. He still kept mostly to himself and his quick temper had not dissipated, but he had ceased threatening to kill those who irritated him, which was good news for Duo and Relena both. Duo had calmed his hyperactivity and childish impulses, but he remained the perpetual jokester, always quick to smile or make some witty comment, and he had not lost his gift for conversation.
Both had matured physically as well, actually looking the part of the nineteen-year-olds that they were. Heero had grown to a height of five-foot-seven and had filled out nicely, his body still strong and toned, and still without an ounce of fat. His face had become more expressive and had lost some of its sharpness, but his hair remained in its perpetually messy style. Duo had finally hit his growth spurt at seventeen and shot up a foot almost overnight. For a time, he could hardly walk without tripping over his own legs, but he quickly adapted to his new size. He was six inches taller than Heero, and though his body was leaner, his muscles not quite as defined as those of his friend, he was still as handsome as ever, if not more so.
The two sat unmoving on the couch for a long time, one completely engrossed in the action on television, the other absorbed in ogling his friend. Finally, a commercial broke them out of their daze.
As usual, Duo was the one to begin the conversation. "So...what's been going on with Preventers this week? Anything interesting? Anything I can help with?"
After the wars, Duo found that he had a real gift for engineering, and he joined a very prominent firm at eighteen. Because of his impressive skill, he rapidly moved up the corporate ladder and even headed his own department, and he was glad that he had opted not to serve for the government. However, he was always eager to join up with his old buddies, especially for Preventers business. Just because he hadn't officially signed on like Heero, Trowa, and Wufei had didn't mean that they couldn't use his services.
Heero perked up at the mention of work. For some reason, he liked to discuss his job with Duo. He told himself that he did so to help relieve some of the tension that his career forced him to endure, but he knew deep down that he really enjoyed talking to Duo, about anything and everything. His work with Preventers just happened to be an interesting subject.
"Well, there's another anti-government faction gaining some power in Kuala Lumpur, but it's small and should be easy to take out. They don't have mobile suit capabilities, which is obviously to our advantage. There have also been a few assassination threats directed at both the President and at Relena." At Duo's light chuckle, Heero shot him a mock glare. "I hope you're not responsible for any of those, are you?"
Duo held up his hands in defense. "No, no, no. I'm not interested in disturbing the peace. Besides, you know I don't hate Relena. In fact, I kinda like her. It's just that she just needs to learn to keep her hands off my property..." His words trailed off as he turned his head away, trying to hide his grin. He knew that his remark would get a rise out of Heero, and he wasn't disappointed.
"Your property? Since when did I cease to be my own person and become your property? I do not recall making any sort of arrangements with you." Heero crossed his arms over his broad chest and scowled. "I think you need to lay off the alcohol, Maxwell."
The longhaired man just laughed, easily brushing off Heero's comments. "Oh please, don't give me that. How are you not mine? Think about that for a minute."
Heero released a long-suffering sigh. "Duo, we are not dating. We. Are. Not. Together. We never have been, and we never will be. We're just friends. That's it. When are you going to realize that?"
Duo smirked. "Well, Mr. Not-My-Boyfriend, since we're not an item, how come you've never been with anybody in the past three years? I mean, since you're a free man and all, why haven't you been seeing someone?" He paused for a moment, leaning in close. "You want to know what I think? I don't think you want anybody else. I think you've already got what you want." He stopped, his face barely an inch from Heero's. "What do you think, Heero?"
The Japanese man opened his mouth to refute Duo's claim, but quickly shut it. 'He's got a point. Why haven't I been seeing anyone? It's not like there haven't been offers. But he's crazy if he thinks that he's what I want, because he's not. No, he's definitely not.' Heero narrowed his eyes at the longhaired American in front of him. "I just haven't been looking for a relationship. I don't need one, nor do I want one right now. And I certainly don't need or want you. You're not my type."
At this, Duo raised an eyebrow, but remained unmoved from his close proximity to Heero. "Oh really? Then what is your type, hmm? I'm willing to bet you don't like girls, so tell me about your ideal man."
"First of all, you have no right to determine my sexual orientation. Second, my type is everything you're not. Okay? I don't want you; I don't like you that way. You are my friend, and that is all. Nothing more." He did his best to look Duo in the eyes, but he could only stare into the other's eyes for so long without getting lost in them.
Duo kept his gaze trained on Heero's face for a long time after he had stopped talking. "I don't care what you say, Heero, I still don't believe you. You may try to keep your emotions off your face, but your eyes definitely tell a different story. So forgive me if I don't take your words to heart, but I know they're not from yours, so it really doesn't matter, does it?"
Heero countered by broaching a subject he knew should be left alone. "Well what about you? You go on about me not being in a relationship, and how that somehow proves that we are together, but how could we possibly be ...boyfriends when you can't seem to stay out of other people's beds?"
Violet eyes narrowed at the accusations Heero had thrown at him. "Oh, you so just crossed a line. I've taken a lot of shit from you, but that--that really hurts. I mean, after all the time we've known each other and all that we've been through, I can't believe you actually think I'm such a whore." He looked away angrily. "Guess that's my cue to leave."
He was pushing himself up off the couch, when Heero's strong hand grasped his wrist. "Wait. I didn't mean it like that-"
"Then how _did_ you mean it, Heero?" Duo cocked his head and glared down at the Japanese man, his expression deadly serious.
"I was just trying to..." He paused, wracking his brain to come up with an excuse for his carelessness, but finding none. "I don't know what I was trying to do. But I didn't mean to hurt you." Heero gently pulled Duo back down to the couch. "I didn't mean for you to leave either. I like having you here." He smiled slightly, adding, "Besides, the game's not over yet."
Duo gave him a slow nod, consenting to stay, though his anger had not completely left him. "Fine. I'll stay." Reclining back against the soft leather of Heero's couch, he turned his eyes back to the television, but his mind was racing.
'You're right. The game's not over. Not by a long shot.'
* * * * *
For the duration of the hockey game, neither of the two said a word. The silence between them was tense, each one waiting for the other to speak. Only after the game had ended did Heero speak up.
"Akira's coming on in ten minutes on satellite. You want to watch it?"
Duo weighed his options. 'I should say no. I should leave. That would teach him to watch what he says. But, he _did_ apologize, and he feels bad about it, and if I refuse, then I'll have to go home, alone, and wait another week to see him again. Besides, maybe I'll get another chance to test Heero's willpower.' Ever the opportunist, Duo chose to stay.
"Okay. You want me to make some popcorn?"
Heero nodded his assent. "With lots of butter. And get some more beer while you're in there."
Duo hefted himself off the couch and grinned back at his companion. "Yes dear." After narrowly dodging the pillow aimed at his head, the longhaired pilot scurried into the kitchen to prepare the snacks.
Once he had tossed the package of popcorn into the microwave and set the timer, Duo leaned back against the cool surface of Heero's refrigerator and exhaled deeply, releasing some of his frustrations with his breath.
'Heero, Heero, Heero. Why do you have to be so damn stubborn? Why do you insist on resisting me? I'm only trying to make you happy, because I know that you--that both of us--would be much better off if we were together.' He closed his eyes, an image of Heero dancing across his eyelids, almost mocking him. 'But what if he's telling the truth? What if he really doesn't want me?' Duo's eyes snapped open at the thought. 'No. He does. And I'm going to prove it tonight.'
He started at the sudden beeping of the microwave, indicating that the popcorn had been fully popped. Duo carefully removed the hot package and dumped the contents into a large bowl, pouring melted butter over the popcorn.
"Dinner's ready!" he called, walking in from the kitchen. He set their meal down on the coffee table, and eagerly shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth, indulging in the salty, buttery taste. Soon, however, Duo realized what a mistake it had been to load it with an excessive amount of butter. Sitting by Heero on the couch, he couldn't help but notice how the Japanese pilot licked the butter from his fingers after each handful or how his tongue flickered out occasionally to collect the excess on his lips. It took an extraordinary show of willpower to keep his body from reacting to the sight. 'Watch the movie, Duo. Just watch the movie.'
* * * * *
"Dude, what is wrong with those kids?! I swear, every time I see them they freak me out. Why are they so wrinkly and blue? It gives me the creeps... " Duo involuntarily shuddered. "And why is milk pouring out of the stuffed animals? It doesn't make any sense."
Heero nodded. "Why does Tokyo get blown up so much? Why can't they take out Beijing or London? Tokyo's a great city; I don't know why everybody wants to demolish it."
"Well, that's easy to answer," replied Duo, swallowing his drink. "Tokyo has to be destroyed so Neo-Tokyo can be built. Isn't that always the purpose?" He laughed at his own remark and reached for the popcorn, only to realize that the bowl was empty. "Shit. No more popcorn. Do you want any more? I can make some."
Heero cocked his head to the side (an adorable action, in Duo's opinion), and thought for a moment. "No thanks. I'm not hungry anymore." He leaned his head back against the couch and breathed a heavy sigh. "I'm bored."
Evil thoughts rushed to the forefront of Duo's mind, and he licked his lips at the various scenarios that ran through his brain. "I believe I can help you out in that department. I'm sure we can spice up this party with a little bit of effort." With a feral grin on his face, Duo lunged for Heero, only to find himself with a face-full of couch.
Heero, who had seen the move coming long beforehand, had already moved off the couch and was digging in the end table drawer. "I know they're in here somewhere... " he muttered to himself, searching.
Duo propped his chin up on his palm and watched the little scene. "You know, if you're looking for condoms, I've got some. Lube, too. I'm always prepared. Just like the Boy Scouts."
"If you're a Boy Scout, then I'm Cinderella."
"Hey, role-playing! That's a great idea; I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier. I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff. But then, you do come across as one who'd be into kink. Yeah, I can definitely see you in leather. With whips and handcuffs--the whole deal. You want to try it? I know this place downtown, I've only been once or twice... okay, maybe five or six times, but I'm not a freak, don't get me wrong. I just think it's fun every once in a while. But if that's what you like, then that's great. And just so you know, I have no problem being tied to the bed, though I'd really rather do it to you. But if you want to be on top, that works for me, too. Do you have any favorite positions? I'm pretty flexible, I'm sure we could pretty much anything you'd like to try. My personal favorites are -"
"Duo, STOP!"
"What did I do?" questioned Duo, blinking owlishly.
Heero gave the other man an irritated glare. "You wouldn't stop talking. Again."
Duo at least had the decency to look guilty. "Sorry," he responded sheepishly. "I guess I just can't control myself sometimes. But are you sure you don't want to know my favorite positions, you know, for future reference?"
"No, I don't want to know, especially since I'm never going to need that knowledge." Heero replied, exasperated. "By the way, I found something for us to do," he continued, quickly changing the subject.
"Really? Is it fun?" Duo was very much looking forward to what Heero had in mind. 'Maybe it involves chocolate syrup and whipped cream... hey, I can hope, can't I?'
From behind his back, Heero produced a deck of cards. "We can play a card game." Before Duo could get a word in, he cut him off. "No strip poker or strip anything for that matter. Just cards. Is that acceptable?"
"Can we gamble? Like, if I win, you have to submit to my demands or something?"
Heero tried to keep the smirk off of his face. 'Duo is really desperate.' "No gambling. Even though you're a terrible gambler and I probably wouldn't have anything to worry about, I'd rather be safe and not risk wagering away my virginity."
Duo grinned. "Ha! I knew you were a virgin! Everybody else was sure you'd had sex before, but I knew I was right. Thank you, Heero. You just won me a hundred bucks!"
This bit of information caused Heero to stop dead in his tracks. "You--you made a bet on whether or not I was a virgin? With whom?" The anger was evident in Heero's voice.
Sensing that Heero was about to get very upset very quickly, Duo tried his best to remedy the situation, backpedaling as quickly as possible. "Oh, it wasn't a really big deal or anything. Just a friendly little wager, that's all. I probably won't even collect -"
Heero crossed the short distance between them and grabbed two fistfuls of the American's tee shirt, picking him up off the couch. "Who did you make the bet with, Duo?" Noticing Duo's hesitation, he turned up the intensity of his glare. "Answer me, before I get really mad and lose my temper. If you tell me now, I might be able to forget about it sooner."
"Okayokayokay. I made the bet with the others, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei. Then Zechs and Noin and Une heard about it and they wanted in, too. And that's all it was, I swear to God!
I'msorryI'msorryI'msorrypleasedon'tkillmeI'msorry... "
Exhaling slowly, Heero dropped Duo back onto the couch and sat down beside him. After a few minutes of uneasy silence, he looked up at Duo, who was biting his lip nervously, hoping that Heero wouldn't lash out in anger. "So who else thought I was a virgin?"
Duo sweatdropped and nearly fell over in his seat. "Is that all you've been thinking about? Um, I believe Une and Noin sided with me. The guys were positive that you'd had sex. I don't know where they got their information from, but they are wrong, aren't they? You're not just pulling my chain?"
Heero chuckled. "Why would I lie about it? So I've never slept with anybody? I don't see the importance of it. But how did you know? And why are you so concerned about it?"
"Well, I just figured that you wouldn't let anybody get a chance before me, that's all. And as for being concerned, I just didn't want somebody else putting his hands on you. That's my job."
It was Heero's turn to sweatdrop. "You are perhaps the most conceited person I've ever met. Basing my virginity on the fact that _you_ haven't had sex with me. God, you just don't give up, do you?"
Duo shook his head. "Nope, I'm a persistent little bastard. It's gonna take more than your Death Glares to frighten me off. Now how about that game of cards? We should start playing before we find something else to fight about. And let's sit on the floor so we'll have more room to spread the cards out."
"For once, you have some good ideas. Is Old Maid good enough for you?"
Trying not to laugh, given Heero's temperament, Duo gave the Japanese man a dubious glance. "Old Maid? Isn't that a little, oh I don't know, young for us? What about poker or rummy or something?"
"I'm not in the mood for a serious game, and I happen to like Old Maid. Do you have a problem with that?"
Duo shook his head quickly. "Nope, no problem. Deal away."
* * * * *
Six games later, or more accurately, six wins for Heero later, Duo was getting impatient.
'Come on, Heero, pick the Old Maid. Pick the Old Maid, dammit!'
Heero hadn't picked the thrice-damned card in any of the games before, and poor Duo always managed to get stuck with it some way or another. Heero had even tried to lose a few times, just to make the violet-eyed man feel better, but to no avail; he just had a knack for card games.
This time, both were down to their last cards; Heero with one, Duo with two, one of which was the wretched Old Maid. Heero had a fifty-fifty chance of winning the game, and he, being of a competitive spirit, wanted to win. However, Duo wanted to win just as badly, and he wasn't about to go down without a fight.
As Heero's hand settled over his cards, Duo realized that his opponent was not going to take the Old Maid. "NOOO!!!" he cried, pulling his hand out of Heero's reach. "You can't do that! You have to lose this time!"
Heero narrowed his eyes. "No, Duo. I'm going to win. Now give me that card!" he cried, half-reaching, half-jumping for the cards in Duo's hand. They were almost in his grasp when he lost his balance and began to fall. He twisted around so that he wouldn't hit the ground face first, but by doing so, he fell right into Duo's lap.
Duo was momentarily stunned. 'I didn't realize Heero was so competitive... ' However, his mind quickly turned to more important things, such as the fact that Heero was laying across his lap in a very vulnerable position. The cards were hastily thrown aside as Duo grabbed Heero's wrists and pinned him in place.
"Well, well, well. Looks like I've got you right where I want you. Now, what to do with you?" Duo grinned at the man in his lap, who, surprisingly, wasn't putting up much of a fight. "Do you have anything in mind?"
"Duo... " Heero hissed menacingly, though both boys heard a suggestion of excitement in Heero's voice. "I'm warning you... "
"Warning me what?" Duo queried innocently. "Not to do this?" he asked as he brought one of Heero's wrists up to his lips and lightly kissed the pulse he found racing just under the surface. Then he slowly licked a pattern there with the tip of his tongue before lowering his mouth and gently suckling the warm flesh. He felt Heero's heart begin to beat even faster and couldn't keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward.
After a moment, he lifted his head to gaze down at Heero's flushed face. "Is that what you didn't want me to do? It seems to me that you rather enjoyed it. Now tell me truthfully, will you push me away if I let go of your hands?"
Without a moment's hesitation, Heero nodded his head, though he didn't really know why he did so. He simply assumed that he would try to get away if Duo released his hold on him. 'Remember: you don't want this. You really don't. So just wait for him to let his guard down. Yeah, I'm just waiting for an opening... '
Duo sighed. "Well damn. It was worth a try. And I really want to touch you, God, you don't know how much, but I'll just have to figure something else out, won't I? How about a little repositioning?" Not waiting for the other man's approval, Duo shifted the Japanese pilot out of his lap and onto the floor and then straddled Heero's prone body. "There. Much better. Now, what to do with your hands?" Duo thought for a second and then pinned both wrists above Heero's head, freeing up his left hand. "Okay. This will make things easier. Now, let's pick up where we left off, shall we? If I'm not mistaken, I think I was going to kiss you... "
Slowly, Duo trailed his left hand down Heero's arm, barely touching the skin and causing goose bumps to rise up in its wake. He brought his hand down to trace along Heero's jaw, coming to rest on his neck. Duo leaned down and brushed his lips across the dark-haired man's eyelids and cheekbones, then kissed a path to an ear. "Come on, Heero. Will you at least let me kiss you?" He paused to nibble on an earlobe, worrying it between his teeth before taking it into his mouth. The gasp elicited from Heero went straight to his groin and only encouraged him to move forward. Releasing the small bit of flesh, he whispered, "I'll take that as a 'yes.'"
Heero couldn't believe what he was doing. He was actually giving in to Duo, and worse, he was enjoying himself! He didn't think there was any way that he'd be able to tell Duo to stop his assault on Heero's senses, especially not when it felt so good. 'Is this what I've been missing? Has he been trying to do this the whole time, and I've been pushing him away? God, I'm an idiot... ' Heero's thought process stopped for a while as Duo traced his lips with his free hand. The simple action made Heero's stomach muscles tighten in anticipation of the inevitable kiss, and his breath hitched as Duo's lips brushed against his own.
Duo stopped just before the kiss to look down at the man beneath him. Heero's face was flushed a rosy hue, and the blush that spread across his cheeks at Duo's scrutiny only made him more beautiful. His Prussian blue eyes, framed by thick, dark lashes, were heavy-lidded and hazy with emotion that had been kept inside for far too long, and his lips, those full, naturally pouty lips, were slightly parted with his heavy breathing. "Heero Yuy, you are, without a doubt, the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on." At that, Heero blushed even more, earning him a genuine smile from Duo.
Heero already felt slightly giddy from Duo's earlier attentions, but seeing that dazzling smile and the look in Duo's eyes made him positively dizzy. It was almost too much for Heero to handle when the American's mouth descended upon his own, barely touching at first, then slowly deepening. When he felt Duo's tongue flicker against his lower lip, Heero welcomed the invasion, taking his cues from Duo and gently massaging the intruding tongue with his own. Briefly he wondered how the mixture of beer and buttered popcorn could somehow taste so good when combined with the flavor of Duo, but thoughts were quickly erased from his mind as he gave himself over to the sensations that coursed through his body. Soon, the gentle kiss became like a sparring match, each trying to gain control, each trying to drown in the other. When they finally parted an eternity later, both panting for air, the two could only stare at each other, not quite believing the reality of the situation.
Before Heero could blink, Duo was upon him again, this time claiming his mouth with even more fervor than Heero thought possible. At the same time, Duo's hand was softly fingering the exposed patch of skin at Heero's collar. One by one, Duo began undoing the buttons down the front of Heero's shirt, smoothly caressing the flesh that was revealed, until the shirt hung off the other man's body, baring his well-defined chest and abdomen. Duo's hand ghosted across Heero's naked chest, making just enough contact to stimulate, but not enough to satisfy.
In a deft maneuver, Duo pushed the unbuttoned shirt up Heero's arms until it could wrap around his wrists. He tied the shirt into a pair of makeshift handcuffs, thus freeing up both hands to do his work. Breaking away from the warmth of Heero's mouth, Duo reared back onto his knees and swiftly stripped himself of his tee shirt. Grinning down at Heero, he shifted his hips a fraction of an inch, but just enough to cause his hard length to grind into its counterpart.
At the delicious contact, Heero arched off the floor and let out a gravelly moan. The sound sent shivers down Duo's spine, almost enough to make him climax on the spot. Wanting to hear more of Heero's impassioned cries, Duo repeated the movement once more before swooping back down to plunder Heero's warm mouth again.
Heero's head was still spinning from the jolt of pleasure he'd experienced moments before when a pair of wandering hands found his nipples. Duo rubbed them gently under his palms before rolling them between his thumbs and forefingers, only to start the process over again. Heero couldn't help but whimper from the exquisite torture. He wanted to give Duo pleasure, wanted to make him moan and gasp, but since he could not use his hands, he rolled his hips upward, making his erection press into Duo's. He was rewarded with a load moan from Duo and another fierce kiss.
Without warning, Duo moved their bodies once more so that he was no longer straddling Heero's body, but lying on top of him, settled firmly between the Japanese man's thighs. Breaking their kiss, Duo trailed his mouth down the slender column of Heero's throat, stopping to suck on his Adam's apple, before moving further down, laving the hollow at the base of his throat, and finally making a path down Heero's broad chest. Before Heero could react, Duo's mouth latched onto one of his nipples, eliciting a surprised shout from the tortured man's throat. Duo worked the sensitive nub with his teeth, biting down enough to cause a little bit of pain, but the pain was quickly soothed by Duo's talented tongue. Then Duo kissed his way over to the other tender pebble and repeated his ministrations.
By the time Duo pulled himself up for another kiss, Heero barely had a shred of control left over his body. But that tenuous grasp on control was lost as soon as Duo began rocking his hips against Heero's. The change in position only increased the ease of movement and as instinct took over, the two pilots began thrusting against each other almost violently. Heero dug his heels into the carpet to gain some leverage, while Duo pressed the other man into the floor with the force of his kisses. Each could feel his climax nearing, so they accelerated the motions of their hips.
Heero came first, arching so far off the ground he thought his spine would snap. He had never experienced anything so powerful in his life, and he could hardly believe that it was Duo that did it to him. 'God, how can anything feel that good... '
Duo climaxed shortly after, moaning his completion into Heero's mouth before collapsing onto the still-panting Japanese man. 'That was quite possibly the most intense orgasm I've ever had... and we didn't even have sex! I can't believe he let me touch him, though it's about time he did. Three years is long enough to wait, but it was worth every second to hear him moaning like that, because of me. Definitely worth the wait... '
They lay together in a jumble of limbs for a while, sleepily holding each other in a loose embrace. Heero had shaken free of his bindings and lightly brushed his calloused hands up and down Duo's sides, occasionally running his fingers through the long ponytail that had become matted to the taller man's sweat-slick back. Duo snuggled close, burying his face in the juncture of Heero's neck and shoulder and nuzzling the damp skin. He trailed one slim hand down the firm chest beneath him and smiled against Heero's throat at the soft moan the motion elicited.
Propping himself up on an elbow, Duo leaned into Heero and tenderly pressed their lips together in a soft, languorous kiss. After they parted, he brushed an errant lock of thick, chocolate-colored hair out of Heero's eyes, and gazed down at the Japanese pilot with a luminous smile brightening his face. "Thank you," whispered the American contentedly. "That was... well, I don't know what that was, but it was amazing."
Heero laughed, leaning into the warm hand that caressed his face. "That it was," he sighed, his eyes fluttering shut. Yawning, he added, "Definitely one to add to your trophy collection..."
Not sure of what he was hearing, Duo tensed. "What did you just say?"
Aware of Duo's sudden shift in mood, Heero repeated himself cautiously. "I said that you have another trophy to add to your collection. Isn't that what you were after?"
Duo stared at Heero incredulously. "A--a trophy? Is that what you think you are to me?" When he was met with silence, he extricated himself from Heero's embrace and stood, his tall frame imposing. "You think you're just another fuck, is that it? Answer me, Heero!"
Heero sat up, unsure of how to react to this unexpected change of events. "Well... yes, of course that's what I thought. Why would I think otherwise? Everybody knows about your reputation for being a... a skirt-chaser, for lack of a better word. I just figured that I was, oh I don't know, the one that got away, except this time, I didn't. What else would I be if I'm not 'just another fuck'?"
"I can't believe--how can you say that?" shouted Duo, who began to pace the floor almost uncontrollably, his body shaking with emotion. "I've been coming here every week for, what?, three years, getting rejected every time, but I still come back, even though I always get hurt. You know why? Maybe it's because I actually enjoy being around you, even though I know that you'll just turn me away whenever I try to take this, this... thing between us any further. Or maybe it's because coming here and spending time with you is the highlight of my week or because the mere thought of being able to see you again is the only thing that keeps me from wanting to kill myself. Maybe it's not just sex that I want."
He paused in his pacing to look Heero dead in the eyes. "This went beyond being just another trophy years ago. God! I've been in love with you for years--years, Heero! And I know you feel something for me, too, you've got to. Lust, if nothing else." He glanced pointedly at the stain on the front of the other man's jeans before returning his blazing stare back to Heero's face. "But you always told me that you didn't want me or that my advances were unwanted or that I wasn't your type, and I knew you were lying the entire time, it was obvious, so I kept on, hoping that one day you'd stop lying to yourself and to me. Don't you know that I would have stopped this a long time ago if I knew that you were serious when you said you didn't have feelings for me? And what's worse, were the times you'd lead me on, hell, you'd tease me, letting me think that you weren't going to push me away, but you always did in the end. And then tonight, you finally let me in, why, I don't know, but you did, and it was wonderful. Probably the best night of my life. Then you go and tell me that all you are to me is just another notch on my belt, when you should know that I feel more for you than lust alone. If I had only wanted you for a fuck, I could have gotten that years ago, and I never would have come back. But I want so much more than that from you; I want us to spend the rest of our lives together, I want to feel everything you feel."
He took a shuddering breath, trying to blink away the tears that threatened to spill over his heated cheeks. "I want you to love me as much as I love you, and believe me, I love you so much it hurts. But I don't know where I stand with you. I don't know what it is you feel for me, or how much, or anything. If you can tell me, please do, because I don't like having people play with my emotions. So how about it?" He searched the other man's face with pleading eyes, hoping that Heero would answer. "Please, tell me, Heero, because this has gone on long enough."
Heero sat, frozen, desperately searching his heart for an answer, but while he'd finally learned to show his emotions, he still didn't quite know how to sort them out. 'He wants to know, he deserves to know, but I don't even know the answer myself.' Steeling himself, he looked into a pair of desperate violet eyes that shimmered with unshed tears and began to speak. "I... I don't know what to say, Duo. I can't tell you how I feel about you because I don't... I just don't know. I wish I could give you an answer, but I don't have one."
Duo released the breath he'd been holding and looked down, nodding his head. "Okay," he whispered sadly. He hastily wiped his eyes on the back of his hand before picking his shirt up off the floor and pulling it over his head. Then he turned his attention back to Heero, still sitting motionless on the floor, and fixed pained eyes upon him. "When you have an answer, call me. In the meantime, I don't think we need to see each other." Without another word, Duo turned around and left the room, grabbing his coat and slamming the door behind him.
* * * * *
The following week, Heero waited. He waited for Duo to come back, waited for his heart and his brain to finally sort out his feelings, waited for something, anything to happen. But after one week, nothing had changed.
He had not doubted the sincerity of the American's words, but he desperately hoped that Duo would return, the previous week's events forgotten, and that they could continue living as they had before. But Heero knew that neither his life nor his relationship with Duo would ever be the same, and he realized that the future of both hinged on how he reacted to the present situation.
Heero considered all of his options carefully. 'If I tell Duo that I have no romantic feelings toward him, A: I would be lying, B: Duo would know it, and C: he would most likely never speak to me again. The same goes for if I tell him that I feel only lust for him. I know that I feel more for him than just friendship, and more than simply lust, but love? I don't even know what love is! There must be signs, but how do I know what they are?'
For a week, Heero wracked his brain trying to pry the answer loose, but none ever came.
Finally, after two weeks had passed and he was no closer to a solution, he broke down and called the one person that he thought could provide some assistance.
"Why hello, Heero! It's nice to talk to you again. How are you?" inquired the cheerful voice over the vid-phone.
Always preferring to skip pleasantries and simply get to the point, Heero stated bluntly, "Quatre, I need your help."
The blond pilot-turned-businessman looked startled at the unexpected admission. "Whatever for? Are you in trouble?"
"Yes, in a way," Heero responded, feeling somewhat foolish. "I need you to try and answer some questions I have."
"Of course, I'll do my best." Quatre was always willing to lend a hand to a friend in need, especially since the Japanese man looked rather desperate. "Ask away."
Heero nodded and cleared his throat, then asked, "You love Trowa, correct?"
The Arab raised an eyebrow at the strange query. "Yes, I do love him. Why do you ask?" 'This is so unlike Heero, I wonder what's going on... '
"Well, I--The reason I'm asking is... well... " Heero looked down, embarrassed, bringing a hand up rub the back of his neck in a decidedly nervous gesture.
Suddenly, Quatre clasped his hands together under his chin, grinning broadly. "I know! This has something to do with Duo, doesn't it?"
Prussian blue eyes grew wide in astonishment. "How did you know? Has he talked to you? What did he say?" His questions came out in a rush, almost too fast for the other man to decipher his words.
"No, I haven't talked to him, but I always assumed that something was going to happen between the two of you. Anybody could see it, really. So what happened? And why are you so upset?"
Heero proceeded to tell Quatre what had transpired between Duo and himself two weeks before, leaving out some of the juicier details, and he tried to put into words exactly how he felt toward the other man.
At the end of his tale, Heero looked at the fair-haired man with troubled eyes. "You see, I can't tell if I love him or not. It's been eating at me for two weeks, but just can't figure it out. That's why I need your help."
Quatre sadly shook his head. "I can't tell you if you love him, Heero. That's something only you can decide."
Unable to accept that as an answer, Heero pressed on. "You said you love Trowa, right? How do you know that you love him?"
"Well," replied Quatre, "I'm not really sure how I know it's love; I just feel it." He paused for a moment, contemplating further. "When he looks at me with that look in his eyes, or when he touches me, I can feel it. When we're together, everything else just kind of fades away, because nothing else is important compared to him. And when we're apart, I feel like a little piece of myself is gone, and I only feel whole again when he's there. When he's happy, so am I, and when he's not, I feel that as well. I know that if anyone hurt him, I'd kill whoever was responsible, and if he died, I'd die, too. But I think I sense it the most when he holds me, and there's just an undeniable feeling of... rightness, like we were meant to be together. It's in those moments that I really know." He sighed, turning back to Heero with a warm expression. "That's how I know that I love Trowa. Maybe that will help you decide your feelings for Duo."
"Thank you, Quatre," responded Heero, smiling at the other man's candor. "You've been a great help. I couldn't have figured this out on my own."
Grinning back at his friend, the Arab shook his head. "I'm sure you would have come up with an answer sooner or later, Heero. But I'm glad I could be of assistance; after all, that's what friends are for. Now, I believe you have someone else you need to speak to, so I'll let you go, although I do expect a full report once the matter is settled."
Heero nodded. "I'll be sure to do that. Thanks again." With that, he ended the call and sat back in his chair, letting all of Quatre's words sink in.
'Okay, Heero, it's time to figure this out. Is it love? I know my heart always beats a little faster when he gets that look in his eyes, or when his hands are on me... especially when his hands are on me. When he comes over, he occupies all of my attention, I'm positive of that, and I do get a little sad when he leaves, but that could be just because I don't want to be alone. But then again, I only feel that way about him. I'm not nearly as cheerful as he is, but he does make me feel better when he's around. And I know he's miserable right now; I am, too. If anybody ever laid a hand on him, they'd be dead. Definitely. I don't know what I'd do if he died. I don't even want to think about it.' At that single thought, Heero repressed a shudder. 'And what about that "rightness" thing that Quatre was talking about?' Heero paused, thinking back to the night that turned his world upside down.
'That night... I never thought I could feel so much. I don't think I've ever felt so complete as I did when we were just laying there, wrapped up in each other. I didn't want that feeling to end. It did feel right, more so than anything I've ever known. The two of us fit together so well, it was... perfect.'
Heero smiled. "Perfect."
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