On the Street Where You Live
Part 1
by KM
He's here.
He's so close. Right down this street, actually. To be more precise, he's two
doors down from the corner where I am standing. He's so close, I can hardly
believe it.
He hasn't been hiding. Even though he claims that hiding is one of his
specialties, it's not something he would do. Not now, anyway. No, instead of
hiding, he's been here. All this time, he's been here. I think he's been
waiting for something.
I hope he's been waiting for me.
It's very late now; so late, it's early. I don't have on a watch, but I can
tell by my internal clock that the sun rise soon. He will be up shortly after,
and I'm sure he will see me.
I don't know if I'm ready for that.
I've been standing out here for a long time. Almost all night I've been walking
up and down this narrow little street, asking myself why I bothered to come
here. Why did I abandon the comforts of my hiding place to seek him out? What
was the purpose?
Those same questions have been running through my mind since I decided to embark
on this foolhardy endeavor several months ago. Many times, my doubts and my
cowardice stopped me from coming here. But I grew tired of allowing pessimism
and fear to create a barricade between myself and happiness, so I sought him
out. I came to this town, to this street, just to find him.
I thought that I would be scared when I came here, once I realized how close he
was. And as I stand here, in his town and on his street, I do feel some fear,
some anxiety; but there is also a strong sense of anticipation. Knowing that he
is so very near fills me with something I cannot explain. It's more than
happiness. It could be joy, I think. Whatever I am feeling, it is a very
complex emotion, and a very pleasant one as well, and it has been growing
stronger as the minutes tick by.
The sun is just beginning to peek over the horizon; I can see it through the
trees. He hasn't come out of his house yet, but he will. He will come out to
retrieve his morning newspaper and then I will be exposed.
I'm not as scared as I was before.
For years, I did not know what I was searching for. Or maybe I did know, but I
was too scared to admit it to myself. So I stayed away; away from him and
hidden from the rest of the world. I locked myself up, too blind and too stupid
to just let myself...
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