The G-Boys and the Definition of 'Fuck'
Five young men dressed in pressed suits stand in front of a large college classroom.
"Good Morning."
"Yo."
Silently waves.
"Ohayo mina san."
The last looks down his nose and growls.
Looks a bit flustered from the other's lack of greeting, "Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word 'Fuck'."
"Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter 'F', 'Fuck' is the only word referred to as the 'F Word'."
"It's the one magical word, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love." Sneers and begins to giggle.
"'Fuck' as most words in the English language is derived from German, the word 'fluchen' which means 'to strike'."
"I want to fluchen something."
"Quatre!"
"Sorry."
"Ahem, as I was saying. In English, 'Fuck' falls into many grammatical categories."
"As a transitional verb for instance, "Heero fucked Duo"."
"You guys got to try it."
"Duo!"
"Sorry!"
"As an intransitive verb, "Duo fucks"."
"And sucks."
"Heero!"
"Not apologizing."
"Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as,
"Wufei's doing all the fucking work"."
"Yah Wu!"
"As part of an adverb, "Duo talks to fucking much"."
"Oh that hurt."
"As an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Quatre is fucking beautiful"."
"Aw thank you Trowa."
"As a noun "I don't give a fuck"."
"I'm confused now."
"As part of a word, which is my favorite. "Abso-fucking-lutely", or "In-fucking-credible"."
"And almost every word in a sentence, "Fuck the fucking fuckers!" Why does that sound familiar?"
"I have no idea." Whistles innocently.
"As you must realize, there are not as many words with the versatility of 'Fuck'; as in these examples describing situations such as fraud, "I got fucked at the used car lot"."
"I wonder why, try screaming in English."
"Dismay, "Aw fuck it"."
"Trouble, "I guess I'm really fucked now"."
"Boy isn't that the truth."
"Aggression, "Don't fuck with me buddy!" Begins to laugh insanely.
"Quatre, your scaring the gerbils."
"Difficulty, "I don't understand this fucking question"."
"I think that is the point to all questions."
"Inquiry, "Who the fuck was that?"
"Yeah, who the fuck was you with last night?"
"Dissatisfaction, "I don't like what the fuck that's going on here"."
"Who ever does?"
"Incompetence, "He's a fuck off"."
"I am not."
"Shut the fuck up."
"Dismissal, "Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself"."
"That's my favorite game."
"I think you can think of many more examples."
"With all these multipurpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word?"
"We say use this unique flexible word more often in your daily speech."
"It will identify the quality of your character immediately."
"Say it loudly and proudly!"
All together, "Fuck you!"
They stand there as a cricket chips from the side of the room.
Heero pulls out his gun and points it to the group of students, "Clap damn it!"
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