The L2 Box
We had tried all of the places on L2, but none of them had the services or the equipment. The other colonies had a better advances than L2, but still lacked the medical personals with the credentials. Our last try and hope was Earth. I had to contact Relena who enthusiastically volunteered her services. Even without my asking, she had been searching for a cure; ever since she had discovered my diagnosis.
I almost felt guilty about it. She was trying so hard for me. I know she loves me, but the feeling isn't mutual. If it weren't for Duo, I might have learned to love her. maybe. But I don't think I would ever have been as happy with her as I am with Duo. Like Duo has said, "I don't want a love I can live with, I want a love I can't live without!" I could go out with Relena, but I NEEDED Duo. He was my strength and support; The one who held me in his arms when another pain attack got to me. He was the one who wiped my tears when the pain was almost unbearable and I begged God to let me pass out so I couldn't feel it. I suppose Relena could hold me and wipe my tears away to, but being in Duo's arms after an exhausting, discouraging day, always renewed my hope. We had a special bond and could translate each other's looks and expressions; As clichéd as it is, I felt like he was my other missing half; The other half of my soul. He was the perfect one for me.
I felt sorry for Relena. She was trying so hard for something that wasn't going to happen. She was trying to earn my love, but I had already given it to someone else already. And, as much as I cared about her, the feelings only went as far as family love. We went out for at least half a year, even slept together. once. But I had to stop it. It felt like I was sleeping with my little sister. I definitely had to stop that. Incest is not my thing. I had mistaken my feelings of family love for a different kind of love. But when I look over my laptop, to see Duo sitting on the other side of my desk, looking through piles and piles of folders for information, I know that I'm not mistaking it now.
And after a month and a half of searching, I found something, much thanks to Relena. I could have called it a glimmer of hope, but it wasn't. The braided man I had fallen so deeply in love with was even better than a
"What is it, Heero?" He asked, surprised as I swooped him off his feet and kissed him soundly.
"Let's start packing. We're going to Earth."
I sat beside him on the hospital bed, holding his hand in support. His friends were all in the hospital room, waiting for him to be wheeled into the surgery room. I'm pretty sure they were staring at me, wondering who I the hell was, some scary looking guy holding their friend's hand. His palm was sweaty and clamping onto mine as he waited nervously and I turned to look at him, smiling encouragingly.
Relena, his ex-girlfriend had been able to locate a surgeon. The doctor, a woman with pigtails that made her look like a kid, told us that she was still experimenting so this wasn't a guaranteed cure. We got to talk to her a bunch of times before actually getting ready for the operation. She'd only had one other person like Heero and the other patient had recovered, but with side effects. Some nerves were damaged during the process and he had lost his motor skills. At least he was still alive. That's what mattered most. They were going to use a new technique on Heero this time. Remove the damaged parts, and, with some regenerative nerves, they'd use nano-robots, or whatever they had called 'em, to reconstruct the messed up areas. He'd be good as new; the only problem was that they weren't certain of the side effect since this was the first time they've tried this new method and it hadn't been approved by the science board or anything yet. But that's ok. Heero's life is worth the risk.
So now, while we all stood around and waited, I can only sit here and support him when he needs it. I took the time to glance at his friends, this, being the first time I've met most of them. Relena, she was a very dignified looking woman and just her appearance demanded respect. Unlike mine, my fashion sense, I know, is a bit out of there, but hey, I like it, so "pftt" to everyone else. I know she was still in love with Heero. Why else would she go through all this trouble to help him? She obviously has good taste. I just chuckled when she gave me a confused look after seeing me smirk at her. Still, she was polite to me when we first met in the hospital. All of his friends were nice to me, 'course, that's only 'cause I'm with Heero. They'd probably have crossed the street to avoid me on the sidewalk, not because they're mean or snobby, but 'cause everyone's like that. Everyone wants to avoid a freak if they can.
I glanced at Wufei. He had been surprised to see me in the hospital, but not the kind of surprise like people usually get when they see me for the first time, more of like why I was even here at all. He'd seen me before. Heero told me that Wufei had seen my interview on tape. He even brought his wife along. Real nice and pretty. One helluva temper though. She keeps him in check all the time. But they're cute when they have those mock arguments.
I'd already met Quatre. He had dropped by Heero's house to check up on him, but stopped visiting after telling me that I was doing a good job taking care of Heero. He never really questioned why the hell I was living with Heero or where I'd come from. But, he sure looked like he had a stroke when I first opened the door and he saw me. I think I came close to being a boogieman right then. But I forgive him for that. I get that reaction lot. it sucks. It really does. But he's still a nice guy.
And Trowa. Ah, the heart breaking Trowa. I can kinda tell why Heero fell so hard for him. He was like a tall, dark, mysterious man. Y'know, like those heartthrobs that no one can resist. I could tell he had an awesome bod, 'course, it's not hard to see when he's wearing a tight turtleneck and even tighter jeans. The tease. Am I being bias in my judgments? Yea, probably 'cause I know this is the guy that hurt Heero so much. But it's not he did it on purpose. .
Speaking of Heero, I turned my attentions back to him. They had shaved off his fine hair to clean up the area for surgery. I was pouting the entire time they did that. Well, they didn't cut MY hair at least, but I still loved his hair. It was messy and all, but really softer than it looks. I love running my fingers through it. It's soft like a newborn baby's hair, smooth and silky, and thick. He's got so much hair and it tickles me everytime he nuzzles me. I absolutely loved it. Trust me. I'm a connoisseur at this stuff.
It was almost time. The nurse had come in earlier, injecting sedatives into his system. So when I met his eyes, he smiled back at me drowsily. He's so cute sometimes, especially when he doesn't know it. It makes me wanna glomp him and never let go. From the time I first saw him on the street, I knew he was quite a looker. I never thought that I of all people would get his love, though.
"Duo," He murmured.
"What's up?" He licked his lips that had begun to chap.
After taking a sip of water from the glass I brought to his lips, he spoke. "I'm going to fall asleep soon. But," was he blushing? I told you. He was so cute. "When I wake up, I want the first thing I see to be you." I grinned and nodded, quickly kissing his forehead, not sure if anyone else saw that.
"Don't worry, I'll be here when you wake up." He smiled sleepily again and gave a yawn, but before letting the sandman take over, a soft "'Love you" escaped his lips. Just so damn cute. I sniffled. I know, boys don't cry, but damn it. He makes me feel so many things that it's hard to control. I love you too.
After they had wheeled Heero away, I was so nervous and fidgety that it made everyone else near me nervous as well. The surgery was an "intricate process that required a lot of time" as they had told me. They advised me (a.k.a. kicked me out) telling me to go check out the town for a while. Waiting and scaring everyone else wasn't going to help.
The statue had caught my eye. It's hard to miss it, though. I mean, honestly, whoever misses a two story high statue of Mother Mary is pretty damn blind. It was just a few blocks from the hospital and I felt the urge to go visit her; there was still some unfinished business to be dealt with.
She was so tall that I only stood up to her knees. The iron statue stood there, heavily detailed in the facial expression, hands, feet, even the folds in her robe. She was in front of me with her arms open wide as if she was inviting me into an embrace.
"Hey there. How ya doin?" I asked her, not really expecting an answer, of course. A bunch of flowers had been placed under her, near her feet. It was Christmas season, so I had gotten some poinsettias from the gift shop for her. Just looking at those deep red flowers made me feel giddy inside. It reminded me that this year was going to be different. This year, I was going to be in a nice, cozy house, snuggled against Heero, warm from the fireplace. I didn't care if I didn't get any presents. Getting Heero was better than anything. IF he lived through this. Oh damn it. I'm not going to cry... yet.
Oh, I don't know what the hell's happening. Ever since I met Heero, it's like someone's turned on my water works. I used to be able to laugh everything off, but now, I cry so damn much I embarrass myself. Is love supposed to be like this? No, I shouldn't doubt it. These are good tears. If I held anymore in, I might have gone mad. They would have come out sooner or later and I was just lucky to have Heero here with me, to cradle me whenever I had a breakdown. But now, it's my turn to be strong, for him.
Giving a heavy sigh, I stooped down to move a few flowers aside to place my own before her. She seemed so serene, standing out here in the spotlights, surrounded by all those flowers around her feet, and the snow that was lazily falling about. I gave an internal shiver just looking at her standing there in this kind of weather. But she didn't seem as though she minded. Snow is kinda different than really bad, rainy weather. It's a lot softer and less heavy. It's only a tickle of cold for a moment until it melts onto my skin. But stay out to long enough, and it really starts to freeze. Luckily, Heero had given me his leather jacket and gloves so I wouldn't freeze to death here. Hm, it even smells like him, my favorite cologne.
I paced around, trying to think of a way to start. "Y'know, I'm still mad at God." I finally told her. Maybe the best way to start was from the beginning. "He takes everything I have. So I've been pretty pissed with him for a long time. That's why I'm giving him the silent treatment. I haven't talked to him for at least 10 years already." She watched me patiently with her, literally, iron gaze as I tried explaining myself. "But I can talk to you." I gave a shrug, "'Cause you kinda remind me of Sister Helen." This time, I looked up at the sky, the snow nipping at my face. "God took her to, y'know that?" I was remembering the events again. And every time I did, I was overcome with grief and anger, so much that even my closed fists were trembling.
"I was just a kid then! How could he? Make me go through so much when I was just a kid?" I rubbed my hands on my face, trying to wipe the weariness of the memories away and to get this dark mood out of me. "I can still remember it sometimes like it happened just an hour ago. The thick smoke that made my eyes water; the sharp smell blood that burned in my nostrils. Why would God make a kid see all this? I was so mad at him that I never wanted to talk to him ever again. Why does he do this to people?" I stopped ranting and shook my head, knowing that this statue wasn't going to answer these questions.
"Anyhow, my main purpose for coming here is because I need you to pass a message to God. It's the least you can do; after all, I've suffered more than my share of punishment. Right? It's like I'm suffering the punishment for TWO people." I gave a little exasperated sigh, trying to lighten up the mood. "Can't you guys be nice to me for once?" Oookay. I know, I like to talk, but I haven't talked to statues before. But talking to a statue... it's kind of like praying, right? She'll still hear me won't she?
"Well ok, my message." I gnawed on my hip, nervous to ask, I looked up at Mother Mary like I was still the
hesitant child who wanted to ask Sister Helen for a bedtime story. "I need you to ask God to let Heero live." Well, duh, what else did you think I was going to ask for? A face-lift? Come on, I have better morals than that. "One soul out of billions. It's an easy job for him." I shuffled my feet in the snow, afraid that they wouldn't answer my prayers. When I'm with Heero, I smile and hold him reassuringly. But, now, that I'm alone and I don't have to pretend to be confident, I feel like I'm crashing again, because I'm scared for him, and I'm so scared of losing him. I was so desperate that I had to break my vow of silence to God. I had to come and beg.
"Just this once. Listen to my prayers and give me some hope. You've taken everything I have! Are you going to take Heero to? Is it so wrong to ask for something back?" My voice quivered. Shit, my eyes are getting watery again. I was upset. Wouldn't you be? I've been dealt really crappy cards this lifetime. If it were a game of poker, someone would have claimed that the dealer was cheating.
"I never asked for anything my entire life! So just this one thing! Give Heero back his life!" I hugged myself tightly, wishing for comfort. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Heero. He had given me so much! My heart clenched every time I thought of him leaving. He was the kindest person and he. he touches me, as though I was a normal person and he weren't scared or revolted in me.
"I don't care what happens to me!" I gave as my final plea. "Just give Heero his life. Please. please." I continued begging under my breath unable to say it out loud because my throat felt like it was constricting and my heart swelled like it would burst. My legs gave away and I collapsed onto my knees, crying and begging into the snow in front of Sister Helen.
There's actually a statue like that in San Jose, that big too. My aunt had her wedding there! It looks so
pretty! And you can see it from the freeway! I just added this scene into the fic 'cause the idea just popped into
my head when I was driving along the freeway and saw it in the spotlights. Really nice. Go check it out if anyone
happens to go to San Jose, CA!!